Desire
by Jessantha
Summary: Bella was changed before moving to Forks, now she meets Edward and has to deal with her past and present to be happy. BellaxEdward T for language
1. Plain Me

**Hey guys! This is my first Twilight fanfic. I just want to make a promise:**

**I will never hold this story hostage for reviews!**

**Because, don't you just hate it when people do that :)**

**SUMMARY**

**Bella is already a vampire when she arrives at Forks. Her life for the past few months has been turmoil – her mother doesn't even know her own daughter any more. When she meets up with the Cullens she convinces herself to stay away. Why? Because she's scared. After being changed she met a whole new world with only herself to rely on. **

**But when things crash and life tangled, Bella finds herself loosing reality.**

**OK, well summaries aren't really my strongest point – as you can see! I don't think anyone has written a story like this one before, partially because I haven't taken the time to surf the thousands for one! So... I don't think I'm copying anyone (as far as I know)!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise as Stephenie Meyer's.**

I'm Bella. Bella Swan. Nothing special – just Bella. I was average: I looked average, my grades were average and my life, too, was average. Like I said. I was just Bella. But it was enough to get me through life, through the crowd. That was okay with me. I stopped caring; I was used to it.

It's just another school weekend that I spent loitering around. There wasn't anything good about school and there wasn't much bad about it either. I saw it this way: you go to school, you do your work, you keep your head down, you act normal, you act nice, you go home, you do your homework and then you go to bed. That was me, anyway. I knew people thought I was plain and in turn I knew there was nothing I could do about it. I gave up having hope _years _ago.

Mum called me a robot. I guess I am in a routine sense. I tried explaining to her that it was the way for me; I didn't want anything else. I lied. I did really. I wanted something more, something I couldn't explain. Something that had I had no name for, it's deep complexion bewildered me to an extent that as soon as my fingers were millimetres away from snatching the thin vapour, I would trip and stumble. Never would I fall. I would never fall. Yet, like I said, nowadays I just folded my longing fingers away against my chest and just watch the vapour swirl and dance whilst it hummed a sweet melody that I couldn't understand. Then one day, it tasted bitter against my tongue. I hated this strange mist – I knew that I would never fully be able to decipher it, become part of it. I was to plain. Too plain.

I pulled my navy blue tank top over my head and sighed, running a hand through my hair. With one last glance in the mirror, I turned tail on my pained reflection and strode out the door. I wondered what I would do today? I guess it would end up being like any other, my time spent wondering meaninglessly through bookshelves, scanning the all-to-familiar book covers.

Perhaps I should try a new store for a change? I'm sure the clerks in my usual haven were sick to death of me. Well, it didn't matter really, I never fully registered feelings any more. I felt my life was covered with thick ivy. I watched it giggle as it grew, twisting and turning, binding me to myself with invisible cords. It hid me from view from the ones I loved. I couldn't see them any more. I didn't fight it off. Perhaps I was too numb. Perhaps no one could save me know.

I shook my head and forced thoughts into my brain: _'What's with the sadistic emo mood going on today?'_

After chugging down a glass of tomato juice, I made my way out the door to my car. It was a blue Toyota that Phil and Reneé had gotten me for my seventeenth birthday. It was only three days ago and I had accepted with ease – I knew how much effort they had gone too, we weren't exactly rich.

Flopping down into the driver's seat, I turned the key in the ignition and switched the radio on. There wasn't much good music on these days, I just listened to it because I knew that the average teenager didn't like listening to classical music. Not in the real world anyway. I wonder what my friends (more the people who didn't mind me sitting with them at lunch) would think if they knew I loved to float away on waves of piano notes, the work of Chopin, Clare De Lune and many other favourites. That would probably be the end of the acquaintanceship for sure. It was bad enough that my high school was of your stereotypical type. In other words, cliques.

I gazed subconsciously out of the windscreen and watched the dull houses flash by, sometimes with a hint of blue swimming pool and the trunks of the almighty palm trees. I grew up here with my mum Renee and a few years ago she found Phil to depend on. I was happy for her at the least, but I couldn't help noticing the nagging thought at the back of my head – would I ever find my 'other half' one day? I knew it was entirely hopeless – no boy stopped twice to look at me.

I pulled into a parking lot, narrowly missing a white van in the next space. I cursed. I was clumsy even when driving! Scooting out of the car I set off in a random direction. I remembered a vague memory of my mum tugging me down a road and me moaning that I didn't want any new clothes. I hadn't changed. It turned out that it was a book shop she was taking me to. I meant to come back one day but I never really got round to it. I could still feel the aged magic those books had bound me to and I craved it, badly.

Strolling along the roads of Phoenix I made out the shops I recognised. Yet as I continued as what I considered to be the right way forward, the shops got dingier, the streets dirtier, the inhabitants scrawnier. I wondered where I was. This wasn't where the shop was before. I was sure of it.

Not quite knowing which way to turn, I paced forward hoping desperately that this was the correct way to go. In the corner of my eye I spectacled at the leering men lingering in dark alley ways, how could they let themselves get this way? Yet, then again, maybe they had no choice. Like me.

My paces quickened and my heart fluttered like a hummingbird in the confined spaces of my chest. My breathing sped and I took gulps of air to calm myself. At the same time of my growing tension I felt a all-new emotion. Like I was... superior. I was too good for this place. I had never, ever felt like this before. Trust me to feel it and attract danger.

The darkness seemed to engulf me now, I couldn't see people about, as though they had locked themselves away to mourn at this horrific life they lived. I passed an alleyway. It wasn't different to any of the others. Yet I could feel a sweet aroma coming from there. Instinctively raising my head in order to catch another wave.

Then, I couldn't remember much after that. My vision was hazy and my eyes clouded. A pair of ice, cold hands grabbed me around the waist. I was slammed against the wall. But the throbbing in my head was nothing compared to the fear I felt. It came like an adrenalin rush. Then it went again. Ah, death. Well. I would welcome it. I could give the kids at school something to talk about.

I remember a very immaculate face. Hard, cold fingers. Much to hard on my shoulders. The crack of a bone. The smirk. Oh. The eyes. His eyes were red. Red. Crimson. Scarlet. Blood red. He leaned in against me his frosty breath catching on my skin.

'Don't worry. It's only three days. I come find you in a year or so, when you've calmed down. You'll be like me. A vampire.' His voice was that of a smothering paste, it chuckled and smirked, deadly.

A faint vision of him pressing his teeth into my neck.

I can't remember much else, except the pain. It was vulgar and it burnt. It danced and leaped in flames of vengeance and sickly joy. I screamed but no one came. All I saw was the pain. I begged and pleaded with the chattering flames but they smouldered me with uppermost revenge.

Three days. It took me three days until I opened my eyes.

**Okay, sorry its short! Its half one in the morning though, I think I should get some sleep! I hope my writing style is okay and I checked it through. Even if I get just one review my heart will sing with joy! Lol! Cheesy huh?**

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Changes

**Hey everyone! Thank you to all the people who reviewed and added this story to favourites/story alert, it means so much to me! I don't think Edward will be in this one, but most definitely in the next! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognise as Stephenie Meyer's**

When I was released of the pain I finally opened my eyes and realised what I had been missing. I had been sensing everything through a screen. Everything was more. I liked it that way. I could hear the groans of gamblers in their run down hide outs, feel the rough rock beneath my fingers. I could see every crack, every line that ever etched itself in the bricks, no matter how insignificant. I could see everything so vividly, the black and grey colours were so bright and flamboyant that I felt like my eyes would hurt. I could smell the stale beer and rotting wood.

Oh. The burn in the back of my throat took over. It was dry, so dry, I felt like I had ate sand. It took control over me, this was the control point of my body. It wanted blood and I could smell it. A few buildings down I could hear the jeers of the winner, the loser gritting his teeth and wondering what he would feed himself with tonight. These sounds were only registered by an empty part of my brain, but were soon ruled out by the protesting scorch in the back of my throat. I wanted to taste their blood, sink my teeth into their necks and taste it! I needed to taste it!

Then the shock ruled out everything. Of coarse I didn't want to taste their blood, what was I talking about? Yet, then I remembered those toxic words: '_You'll be like me. A vampire.'_

...vampire?

Then the confusion swelled with the shock. I clutched my hair and turned a full circle. I couldn't be a vampire! But, what had really happened that night? Three days... Had I been writhing in pain in this grubby, dingy place for three days. I felt the anger. Then the hurt. Then the realisation.

If I was a... _vampire _now, then what would I do? Renee, Phil, Charlie? What if I craved their blood too? The thought of blood brought me back to my senses, the burn in my throat flared up once more. What was wrong with me? I hated blood when I was human; I absolutely hated it! I panicked and ran.

I had finally caught that mysterious mist, but now I didn't want it! I didn't want to be a vampire! This wasn't real, it wasn't normal. And he said he would come back for me? In a year? A year wasn't long enough! I needed answers now! What if I hurt someone? All I knew is that I wanted human blood and I wanted it now.

My actions were all too quick and when I ran, I got the shock of my life. The entrance of the tunnel came at me in half a second. If I were normal, it would have taken me seconds to get there. Not in an instant!

I waited to feel my world swirl around me in my disbelief, but I stayed steady. Brushing random strays of hair out of my face, I ignored the dry burn in my throat and ran towards my house. I don't know how I knew my way I just did. But running! Oh running was sensational! I could watch the buildings whip by me, people didn't notice me at all – was I running so fast I was almost invisible?

Until I reached my house I realised that the thought of running had evaded all longing for human blood. Yet now that I brought it up again, I needed it. My resolve was short but demanding. I wouldn't eat humans. Perhaps I could starve my self to death. But the thoughts kept on coming the blood, the pulse, the blood...

'Damn it!' I yelled. My voice was soprano and sing-song. I stamped my foot in the gravel and was shocked to see the hole it had created.

Thank goodness Renee and Phil were away for two months. Perhaps I could perfect my image and act normal. Or I could run. No, no... I couldn't do that! I couldn't leave them hanging here, without a trace of me in sight... that would kill them. I knew that much.

In the two months that Renee and Phil were gone I had finally found part of my new self. It was new and unreal. I felt like I was living a nightmare and just couldn't wake up. But it wasn't all that bad.

I could run like the wind, I was so, so very strong and I wasn't clumsy any more. My actions were quick and unrecognisable at first, but I grew accustomed to them. I could stand in one position for hours and not get tired. Then there was the emotions. In the start I was very easily distracted by each train of thought I had but over time I learnt to control myself and made myself look human. I can still visualize the shock I felt when I looked in the mirror. I was like a goddess! I could still see myself in the features, but everything was enhanced to look its very best. I had perfect everything – it was so unbelievable! My skin was like that of the vampire that grabbed me that night. I imagined it would feel ice cold, but it was warm to me. That wasn't the weirdest thing though. I found myself unable to expose my skin in the sunlight because it sparkled and glittered. It was gorgeous, I gazed at my arm for what seemed centuries before the sun disappeared and night took it's toll.

That was another thing. I couldn't sleep. I didn't get tired, never felt exhausted – not physically at least. At first, the mental stress was too much to handle. I crawled under my duvet and clutched myself into a tight ball. I ran over and over my thoughts, what I would say to my parents. I came up with an alibi. I got hit by a bus whilst visiting a friend. I had some serious damage, so surgery had to be done and I ended up like this. It was bad, I knew, very bad, but what more could I do? I had been in a coma and couldn't call them, afterwards not wanting to spoil their holiday. I couldn't tell them the truth. I wasn't human any more; I felt no tears, no blush, no sweat. I was discovering a whole new me.

My red eyes had petrified me – it brought me down to earth with a shudder. It showed that I was a true monster. I recall the control slipping after a week my longing desire was too much. I ended up chasing the scent of one sweet smelling human when I stopped myself, petrified. I was scared of myself. What I would do.

In the day I stayed confined to the house where I wished the hours away. I would email Renee, and kept her at bay whilst my eyes cooled. They turned a topaz colour and grew darker when I was hungry. I fed on animals, any I could find. I would have to travel out of town to find something worth wile. I didn't mind; I needed to stretch my muscles once in a while.

It was tomorrow that Renee was coming home. Or today, should I say. It was 1:00am and I'd already hunted. I would have to keep out of the sunlight. Somehow. I randomly wished that the night time clouds would uncover the stars; it was depressing. I willed them to move. And then the weirdest thing happened. They did.

I mean, the moved out the way like I asked them too. Then I willed them back again and mist blocked the moon from view. Wow. I could control clouds! I wonder whether I could make other things happen, too? Could all vampires do this? I played about with them for the rest of the evening, awed. At least I could go out in the sunlight now! Or the clouds, I should say.

I recognised the 'waking up' time and then sat on the couch waiting for them to arrive. I felt the panic pool in my stomach but I didn't encourage it. I was in a fatal accident, right? Things like this happened.

I heard the car from ages away, the tension around me grew thickly. The footsteps on the gravel, the crunch, crunch, crunch, the frantic drumming of my dead heart that wouldn't beat. It was enough to drive me crazy. The key turned into the lock and I forced myself to breathe. It was a mistake and a half. Renee's scent was enough to thrust me into a frenzy of want. I relaxed my shoulders and turned around to face her.

'Hi Mom. Hi Phil.' Ugh. My voice sounded so wrong! I was all high and sing-song. And I was pretty sure that I didn't look the same either.

'Bella?' They both chorused. I cringed inwardly at the sound of disbelief. Mom broke the silence.

'You look... different.'

I took a breath and ignored the wailing flames at the back of my throat. 'I was visiting a friend when I got caught in front of a bus. They did some surgery on me, then my friends gave me a make over. I don't remember it but I was supposedly in a coma for three days and they couldn't contact you. I didn't ring you after because I didn't want to spoil your holiday. I didn't feel anything.' I grinned, careful not to show my set of perfect, pallid teeth and added, 'I have to stay at home for a bit. They send me work.'

Renee broke a gasp and Phil looked staggered. After calming them both down with assurances and promises that were broken before I even made them, mum cracked a smile.

'Well, we've got great news honey! We're going to Jacksonville!'

'Jacksonville?' I was aghast at her statement. 'Your hitting the road?'

'Yes, for a while! It's going to be great!' She clapped her hands together grinning wildly.

'Mum... I can't go.'

'Why? Why not?' She looked dismayed.

'You know how I am. I have to stick around one place. I feel like I'm committed to something... I'll go live with Charlie.'

So that's it. I'm moving to Forks.

**Hey everyone, I felt the need to stop it there, it's a weekend so you probably will be seeing a chapter up soon!**


	3. Homecoming

**Chapter 3 has arrived! Thanks for those of you who reviewed and added this story to your favourites/story alert! It's really great encouragement! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognise as Stephenie Meyer's**

* * *

_So that's it. I'm moving to Forks._

'Bye Mom, Phil! I love you.' I felt the phantom tears swell in my eyes as they always did when I should have been crying.

'I love you too honey, I'll email you right as soon as we get to Jacksonville.' How ironic – all of us were leaving Phoenix for good on the same day. Well, at least I had no intentions of returning to Phoenix. There was nothing left for me here.

Renee pulled Phil into our one final embrace. I held my breath as to prevent the burn from ruling. I wondered whether I would see them again? I figured that I was immortal. I would email at the least; I owed them that much.

We parted from the hug and I smiled sadly at their poignant faces.

'Don't worry about me Mom. We're both know what's best for us and we're living it!'

She cracked a smile and shut the door of the cab that was taking me to the airport. It pulled of the drive whilst I waved at them both out the window. At least they were going to be happy. I guessed my depressing mood wasn't exactly uplifting in the week we had left together.

It was hard to resist them. But I found that my self control was greater than the temptation – I felt some comfort in that. At least I could stand to be around people that I loved who smelt gorgeous! Considering I had no practice as well. High School shouldn't be too bad. In the week I spent as much time with my parents as possible; in the nights I wondered over my thoughts continuously.

I saw the driver gazing at me in the mirror. Once our eyes met he blinked repeatedly and then turned his eyes back on the road. I felt a bit flattered. At least I was pretty now. Perhaps people might want to talk to me for a change. Not out of pity, but out of want.

Every so often his eyes wondered back to my face. I spent the whole time gazing forward, forcing myself to blink and fidget. It felt wrong and stupid, but it was human enough. He rolled down the window of the cab, forcing me to breath his scent. My stomach lurched and I stiffened in my seat doing everything I could to stay calm. I stopped and held my breath – another thing I had discovered. I didn't need to breathe!

My arm was stiff when I handed him the money; I made sure not to touch him. With a nod of my head, I grabbed my bags and slammed the door shut behind me.

I made it onto the plane in time. I had located myself a seat on the inside of the row, and the seat beside me remained vacant. I wondered vainly who would occupy it, but no one came.

I sighed as the plane took of and closed my eyes to think. The last week entered my head yet again. It was uncomfortable talking to Renee and Phil – I just didn't know what to say. Also, I couldn't help but over hear their conversations. I tried to tune them out but one time I caught the words:

_'It feels like she has changed and doesn't want us to know about anything. Sometimes I look at her and see a whole different person... I think going to Charlie's is a good idea; she can clear her head...'_

I had to admit, those words stung. I knew it wasn't mom's fault she felt this way, yet I couldn't help but feel a little rejected. More importantly, I thought, what would Charlie make of me?

Pushing through the crowd outside the airport, I called dad. I saw his cruiser metres away, he hadn't spotted me yet.

He looked up and shock was plastered all over his face. I pushed my way through the crowd without breathing, ignoring the stares of strangers with their mouths hanging open.

'Bella? Is that you?'

'Hey Dad. Long time no see!' I giggled. It sounded much too wrong.

'Well... you've changed a lot! You look... well to be honest Bells, you look amazing!'

I just laughed and shook my head as we placed (or dumped, in Charlie's case) my luggage in the boot of the cruiser. Me and Renee had come to the conclusion that we wouldn't tell Charlie about the 'I Got Hit By A Bus' fiasco. I didn't want him knowing and Renee had gone along without an argument.

The ride was awkward, but I take after Charlie so we didn't talk about much. He contemplated me on my new eye colour and asked about contacts. I used the same excuse that I had before: my eyes just got lighter, you know... weird huh? Then a laugh at the end to round it all off. Oh, I loved the falseness – not. He noted about my skin colour and I just replied that it didn't seem any different if you asked me.

It wasn't long before he pulled up outside his - or our should I say – house where I had lived for the first year of my life and spent summer breaks the years afterwards. It had been years since I came here, but it looked exactly the same.

'Ah ha!' Charlie's voice snapped me from the vague and hazy human memories.

'Your skin! It reminded me of something and now I know!'

I gazed at him questioningly as we made our way into the kitchen (no changes here, my mind absently contemplated).

'The Cullens!' He seemed quite pleased with himself for making this connection.

'Wait, what?' I stammered, where I turned around to gaze out the window so he couldn't see my bewildered expression. There were other vampires here? I hadn't considered that into the equation. Perhaps if I just kept myself to myself...

'Dr Carlisle Cullen and his wife adopted five children. Well, they're all your age and a few years older, so not really 'kids'. I'm sure you'll see them at school. Don't know whether you'll end up being their friend, turns out they don't mingle much. But perhaps it's because of the kids these days... don't like good looking, respectful people.' He mumbled off, scratching his chin and frowning. 'I hope they don't act like that to you Bells. You're better looking than even the Cullen's themselves, I'd say!'

'Ah, don't worry dad! I'm thick-skinned, remember?' Instead of brushing off the compliment, my mind insisted on subjecting the 'Cullen's', but I dismissed it. I doubt they really were vampires. I mean, jut because they're skin was like mine and were good looking...

'Sure are Bells, you sure are. Here, I'll help you carry your bags up.'

A flashed him a smile as we trudged upstairs where I flopped onto my bed. It didn't provide much comfort – I could lie on the floor for all I cared. Except that would look a bit weird. I chuckled darkly, wondering if I would find any friends here. Would people avoid me now? Or would they cast me awed glances like the people at the airport?

Well, I would find out the answers tomorrow. I had school – my biggest challenge yet.

**Okay, I know I promised you Edward and he isn't here! I'm so mean aren't I... Well he WILL be in the next chapter which I might write part of now. I will, because I have been so mean! Anyway, next chapter is the one I have been itching to write. Bella's coming through!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. School

**Chapter 4 – School! Woop woop!**

**Thanks to all you reviewers and people who have added this story to favourites/story alert. You keep me in good health!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognise a Stephenie Meyer's**

* * *

I heard Charlie get up and finally leave in his cruiser.

The anticipation had curled itself into a tight knot in my stomach. I had hunted just yesterday morning. There wasn't any more preparation I could do. I lay on the bed for minutes, thinking and thinking. Taking a glance at the clock, I realised I had 15 minutes to get ready if I wanted to be on time. Trust me to be late on my first day of school!

Once I had took a shower I made myself look acceptable – a quick brush through my hair was all I needed, although I could go the way I was when I got out of bed and I would still look good! I ran out at inhumane speed. Checking my watch, I understood there wasn't any time for my slow truck that Charlie had so kindly brought me. It would have to be running. The weather outside was cloudy and I sensed a drizzle coming on in... three minutes. I better hurry!

When I slowed down to appear as though I had walked all the way, I smelt it. Five vampires. Five of them! I carried on through the parking lot, which was almost empty now, debating what to do. I decided to leave it. I'm sure if I just minded my own business I would fare okay. I mean I shouldn't pose a threat. There was only one of me. I would just keep my distance...

I arrived at the reception desk with one minute to spare. Of coarse, she knew my name immediately. No surprises there! I would be the talk of the town: mysterious Chief Swan's daughter, come back after so many years! I felt like doing a runner already!

I had to prompt her for my timetable as she continued to gawk at me. So did the other receptionists'. I felt their gazes on my back and as soon as that damned time table was in my hand I was out of that stuffy room. I had to keep on pushing the temptation away.

I had English first period, then Spanish. Not too bad. I liked English and I liked reading. This would definitely be my favourite class. Locating the building number, I made my way over there at a run. I couldn't risk any faster than that around here. I didn't want another reason for these vampires to provoke me. It was just so... unexpected that there were others. I mean, I knew there was. But knowing that I was this close to them... I had only just gotten over myself!

I opened the class room door at the same time the bell went. Everyone had just been seated. I braced myself for the smell. It hit my like a wave of coarse. So many people in this tightly packed room... I could devour them all easily. Ugh! What was I thinking??

I pushed my shoulders back in a confident manner and strolled over to Mr. Banner, my teacher. The room went silent when everyone acknowledged my presence.

'Sorry I'm late, sir. Here's my slip. I'm Bella Swan.' My voice came out in the tinkle of a wind chime. Again, it felt so wrong exposed in this bare room.

'Okay, would you mind taking that seat at the back?' His tone was flat compared to mine. It felt awkward. I smiled lightly and turned around with it it still on my face.

In the eighth of a second my gaze flitted over everyone. No vampires in _here _today. Except me of coarse. The faces of everyone were disturbing. They were all looking up in shock, like I was some Goddess or something. I mean, I knew I was pretty, but this was just weird! I swanned down the aisle to the empty desk at the back whilst listening to the mutters of my class members. Obviously, my ears caught everything.

_'Wow!'_

_'I know, right?'_

_'OH, My God. I am never going to have a chance now!'_

_'The guys are going to be all over her.'_

_'Mann! She is something!'_

_'Totally! Reckon I could snag her?'_

_'No way! She's hotter than Rosalie Hale!'_

_'I know! Is that even possible?'_

I wondered briefly who this Rosalie Hale person was, but it didn't bother me much. She sounded like the typical high school bimbo, lead of the cheer squad and flaunted everything she had. I had no patience for those type of people.

Most of the lesson I directed my thoughts towards the novel 'Wuthering Heights' , one of my all time favourites, but I couldn't help ignoring the burn at the back of my throat. I was starting to get a bit annoyed with it to be honest. It wasn't threatening, even in Spanish, but just nagging away whilst I tried to get on and be distracted.

Spanish was the same scenario. This time, my teacher actually looked gob smacked. I felt a bit worried at first. Then all the students looked up at me with the same awed look as before, the mutters were similar. This time I was assigned a seat next to a girl called Jessica. Fortunately she didn't have a chance to speak to me, and she looked like she wanted the gossip badly.

As soon as the bell went, I was out of my chair and into the cafeteria. I didn't want to speak to her. She looked like she wouldn't shut up. I stepped aside for the moment to check my timetable and saw I had Gym and Biology. I hated Gym when I was human because I was such a klutz. But now that I was vampire I didn't have those problems any more... who knew what I would be like?

Stuffing it back into my bag I noticed the yard was deserted. Oh great, would I be able to get a table? I had a suspicious feeling that some people would be more than willing to give up their seat. I shuddered. The stares were all too embarrassing!

I pushed open the door and the scene that greeted me was not what I was expecting. Everybody stopped what they were doing, be it eating, drinking, chatting and all turned to look at me. Every face was plastered in awe, just like that of the people in my earlier lessons. I noticed one table that had five people sitting at it. Two were in pairs. One was sat by himself. They were all beautiful and immaculate to pristine perfection. They were like me. Those topaz eyes were all too familiar and the polished, gleaming skin was too much like my own. I smelt them too. One caught my attention. The one sat by himself. He was a God of Perfection, he was so flawless.

They were the vampires.

It all happened so slowly. I felt myself glide forwards my eyes still locked on his, until I tore my eyes away when I was jolted back to reality. Everything became quick again, and whenever my eyes fell on a peering person, they immediately were pulled back to realism.

I acquired myself a bottle of soda and made my way for the only free table. It was in the corner of the room, right next to that of the Cullen's. I forced my eyes to fix on my table. In the split second I had contemplated them all, I had each of them memorised perfectly in my mind. There was the short, pixie like girl with her spiky hair – she looked nice enough. Next to her was a guy with blonde hair, just as attractive as the girl. Then the next couple. A guy with a flashy grin, a mop of dark curls on his head and his unusually large muscles were wrapped around a stunning vampire. She had blonde hair that flowed over her shoulders and was quite simply, amazing. Yet the one on is own seemed so much more to me. His beauty was unreal, he was the only one I wanted at this moment. I wanted to know him so much more, to understand him. The look in his eyes cold only be deciphered as interest. I couldn't fathom why he would he interested in me, but perhaps it was because I was a lone vampire walking through a high school cafeteria worrying about what people think of me. Hmm.

I placed myself on the chair furthest from them all except that happened to be the chair that faced _him._ Still not meeting any of their eyes, I pulled Wuthering Heights out of my bag after placing my soda down. I opened it at a random page and glared at the words through unseeing eyes. I tensed my shoulders and gripped the book. I felt the tension roll off me and knew rather than sensed that they were looking at me.

I felt them get closer, the scraping of chairs, one right next to me, but I kept my eyes down. I could make a run for it, before they hurt me. I tried to wonder what had done wrong. I didn't do anything unusual, as far as I knew.

'How long are you going to sit there? You've been on that page for 3 minutes now.' Oh! If my heart could still beat I swear it would have faltered as soon as I heard him speak. It was him! And he was sitting right close to me. Oh, much too close, too close.

I felt stressed and if I could still blush, I swear that I would have been as red a beetroot now. Not knowing what else to do, I stared harder at the book. I tried to ease the pressure out of my fingers; a notch too high and it would be torn right up there and then. I had learnt to be gentle with things.

He leaned closer in and my eyes widened, still staring, whilst I started to shake. He was inches away now – much too close, too close! His sweet aroma filled the air and I breathed it in involuntary. My shaking was harder – both with nerves and fear. What would they do to me?

'If your going to hurt me then do it quick! I didn't mean to cause any trouble and I'm sorry!' My voice came out so low that human ears could not have caught it. It was a low moan mixed with a hiss. My eyes were still down but now the book deteriorated under my frantic grasp. A pile of shreds and the remainder of the novel formed on my lap.

'We're not here to hurt you.' He breathed the words. He was closer again, only by a centimetre, but I could tell the distance accurately.

'Then what are you doing?' It came out barely an inaudible whisper.

'To get to know you, that's why.' He put his hand on my shoulder and I practically jumped out of my skin. His touch was like an electric shock. The need to be with him just grew stronger.

I knew if I looked up at him I wouldn't be able to tear my eyes away. I felt the confusion overwhelm me. He wanted to get to know me. Me? Seriously _me?_

I couldn't help it. I pulled my gaze up from my now empty lap and looked into his eyes. My lips parted slightly. He was the most beautiful creature I had ever met. He was out of this world. And I wanted him. Shame I'd never be good enough for that. His eyes burned into mine as if he were trying to see into my mind, my soul.

'So.' The pixie girl caught my attention. I reluctantly turned to her, forcing a small smile to display itself. 'How old are you?' She grinned widely. I couldn't help but like her already!

'Alice,' The God next to me protested, 'that's rude...'

'I'm seventeen.' I replied simply. I got rewarded with a range of smirks from around the table. I was confused again. Did I do something rude?

'Yeah, but, how long have you been seventeen?' The burly guy asked, flashing a set of pearly teeth. I responded with a blank face. I didn't understand what they meant.

He sighed, 'When were you changed?'

'Oh. _Oh._' Now I understood! 'Three months ago!' I added brightly.

To my utter most surprise, everyone at the table seemed to be tensed, their muscles locked down in restraint. Or preparation. What did I do?

'Three months?' He guy next to me exasperated. His hand was still on my shoulder, I felt a wave of embarrassment flood me. 'Then what are you doing here? In high school?'

I felt a bit miffed at that remark, 'I can take care of myself you know. I've lived with my mum and step-dad for a week and didn't take any action. And, a few days after being 'changed' as you call it, I was able to break off mid-hunt. I was quite pleased with myself. And this morning I sat through stuffy classes packed with humans.'

'Wow...' He exhaled. 'Your certainly different.' He cast me a look that was both admiring and tender. I felt quite concious.

'How?' That was just one of the many questions I was itching to ask.

'You're still a new born.' The blond haired guy that sat next to the pixie girl was talking now, 'You shouldn't be able to control yourself like this... it's not natural...' His brow furrowed, as if he were arguing with himself, 'You should be driven by your blood lust not by your control. And yet you can sit here in a room full of humans and be discussing your thirst so casually.' He added wryly. It was only then that I comprehended his appearance. He was covered in shining white crescent marks – noticeable even against his pallid skin. 'Bite marks.' He recognized my observation, then. 'Experience.' He added.

'Wow... I guess I truly am a weirdo then!' I joked, then grasping something, 'You, know, I still don't know your names. I'm quite sure you've already heard mine, but I'll introduce myself formally anyway, I'm Isabella Swan – call me Bella' I was finding it so much easier to be myself around these people.

'Oh, forgive me for being so rude, I'm Edward.' He smiled crookedly and I swear I would start hyperventilating like some obsessive fan girl in a moment! He went on, 'This is Alice,' pointing at the pixie girl and she grinned at me across the table, 'this is Jasper,' the blond haired guy who had just being telling me about my non-existent blood lust, ' this is Rosalie and Emmett.' The blonde woman didn't glare at me but had a faint smile playing at her lips with a hint of irritation. Wow, she actually didn't hate me! Emmett flashed me a wide grin and a wink – I could tell he was a wind up straight away! I smiled at them all politely, but half of my mind was still on Edward.

'What do you have next?' He asked.

'Ugh. Gym. Then biology.' I sighed. I still didn't know how being a vampire could save me from the clutches of Gym. Me and Gym really didn't mix.

'Why don't you skip?' He asked casually.

I looked up, shocked. I had never dared to do such a thing in my life! 'It's my first day. I think someone would notice the one who everybody has been gossiping about doesn't turn up for her very favourite Gym lesson.' I laughed sarcastically.

I sighed at my watch and stood up. It was weird. I actually had made some proper friends in my life. Real friends. I liked it!

**It's coming along! I just need to take a few more chapters to sort things out then we'll see where this story heads! Well, I know vaguely, obviously. It's half one again! I have managed to write four chapters in a day! I think you can call me Ms. Amazing! Lol!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	5. Biology

**Thanks yet again for all the reviewers and to the people who added this story to their favourites/story alerts. You are all so nice! I'm glad everyone is liking the story! I am really really sorry I haven't updated for ages, school has caught up with me – like it does! **

**Note: I just remembered it was the Biology teacher that was called Mr Banner not the English teacher. So he gets a new name. Sorry for my mistake! (And he acts differently too). :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognise as Stephenie Meyer's**

* * *

Edward looked at me when I sighed at my watch.

'Go with Alice to Gym, she has it at the same period. I'll see you in Biology.'

'Huh?' He was in my Biology class? Oh great! I meant it in both ways. It was great because it meant I could be with him for longer but as long as I was close to him I'm pretty sure I would end up embarrassing myself in some way. Like staring, and feeling paralysed whenever he asked me a question.

'Yeah, I'm in your class.' He passed me my bag, 'See you.' He smiled and walked out of the door whilst I was left gazing after him in disbelief. My bag was limp in my hand and my lips were parted again. My eyes widened when he gave me wave and stepped outside.

'He likes you.' Alice giggled from behind me. She was beautiful too, small and petite.

'Don't be silly!' I laughed, shocked at her remark. I didn't want to depend on anything. I didn't want to convince myself he liked me. 'He must think I'm retarded the way I kept staring. He's probably worried.' Oops. Now I was showing how much I cared about the way I wanted him. Stupid Bella, Stupid Bella! I really hoped he couldn't hear us now. At least it was just her and Jasper left at the table.

'You two like each other.' Jasper grinned.

I was getting flustered now, I would never have a chance! 'Now why would he like me? I like him the same way I like the rest of you!' I laughed nervously.

'You can't hide the way you feel. Not from me anyway!' He laughed.

'What do you mean? You can do something?' I was curious now. 'You can feel people's emotions?'

'Yeah, it's just me. The climate between you two was higher than average for two people who just met.' He was laughing harder now. Oh God, I just hoped that Emmett didn't notice it. I'm pretty sure that he would jump at any chance to embarrass me. I guessed Rosalie wouldn't try stopping him either.

'He does like you Bella.' I looked at Alice uncertainly, 'He is over one century old now, and he has never found someone he wants to be with like this. Now that he has seen you he is elated. You have to understand that he has never felt this way before. I mean, after so many years of searching it's natural that he is so happy he has found someone.' She smiled gently.

'Whoa! You're thinking way too far ahead!' I felt jittery at even the thought! 'I'm not good enough for him anyway. All of you out shine me by far.' We made our way out the door after nodding Jasper goodbye. We made our way to the changing rooms.

'Bella! Stop being so oblivious!' She pushed the door in and walked inside. 'Do you see the look everyone gives you? He is worried he is not good enough for _you_. What a pair! Rosalie is wondering whether you are prettier or not. That's why she is undecided.'

'Wait, what? Me prettier than Rosalie? You're kidding me. As if!'

'Look, you are and that is final.' She squared her shoulders and poked me on my chest. She was scary when she looked like this! 'All you need is some clothes which I will supply you and people will be dying at your feet.' She looked smug now. But still scary. 'Right?' She flashed me a glare.

'Uh... yeah, yeah whatever you say!' I really didn't want to get on her bad side!

'Okay!' She beamed, 'Be my partner?'

'Are you sure you want to?'

'Well with your new born strength, I think I'm the only one that can handle you in this class!'

We were playing badminton. As soon as the coach explained, she ordered us to assemble into pairs. It was thwarting. Everyone crowded around me asking to be my partner.

'Um... sorry, I'm with Alice...' I had trailed off; popularity was not something I had been betting on. I suppose it was better than if they all ignored me.

I served first. Exerting as little force as possible I tapped it gently and it pelleted towards Alice who dodged it niftily. I didn't bother to look around to see who was watching, I just hoped they weren't.

'Sorry...' I mumbled.

It wasn't long before I got the hang of the force I needed. I just needed to stretch out my arm and the shuttle cock was back over to Alice. It was great not being clumsy! I had to mind not to get over excited because we had to replace by racket sneakily. I felt a bit bad about that. But playing with Alice was fun, she didn't stare at me like the others and she was very competitive. The game ended at a draw.

'That was fun, I haven't had a proper game for ages!' She mused.

I was getting nervous again in the changing room, waiting for the bell to go. 'Don't be worried. Here I'll just see every thing's okay.'

Then she zoned out for a few seconds – her eyes turned flat black and her face was expressionless. Then she came back to life again. She looked cheerful.

'What was that?'

'I can see the future!'

'Say, what?'

'I see visions. It's my 'power'. They aren't accurate, because the future changes on people's decisions. But as long as you don't skip Biology then it's going to be good. Not that you'll get a chance to skip anyway!'

Before I could reply she had bounded out of the room leaving me disorientated. She could see the future? Well. That wasn't expected. I walked and pushed the door open, wrapped up in my thoughts. What did she mean, I wouldn't get a chance to skip Biology. I wouldn't miss it for the world, but...

'Hey!' I knew that voice. Turning around I saw Edward's face in the crowd. He strolled over. Oh, my gosh, what was I going to do now? I couldn't go because I had no idea where to go. The panic receded to amazement when I saw his face close up.

'You walked right past me!'

Oh no. I had blown it for sure! Trust me to miss him! Why, why why? 'I'm sorry, Alice just let slip of her talent and I felt a bit... dazed.'

He laughed. Phew, he understood! 'Trust her to blurt it out and not let you know slowly. I'm afraid that's Alice for you. She has been all keyed up this morning. She saw you coming, you know. She didn't apprehend that you would be one of us though!'

I laughed along with his chatter, I was still feeling at bit edgy in his presence. I didn't understand that anyone could make you feel this way!

I handed my teacher slip as I watched Edward in envy go to his seat. I was seriously jealous of the girl that would have to sit next to him. I didn't even know where these thoughts were coming from! When I turned around I blanked the faces right away.

'Take a seat by Mr. Cullen.' He directed.

Oh no! What would I say? What would I do? The butterflies in my stomach fluttered uneasily. Play it casual, I thought. Friends was enough, wasn't it? No, not really, but I would have to live with it. I didn't want to go ruining my chances now. I cavorted down the aisle, my movements were so perfect, I only just became concious of them. I tried to be casual but I don't know whether that was what I was pulling off. I raised a smile and he just laughed and shook his head. What did I do now?

I pulled out my stool and sat next to him, pulling my books out of my bag. Oh my gosh, he smelt amazing! I did everything I could from leaning in towards him and just breathing it in. It seemed to me the temptation of blood was nothing compared to this enticement.

Whilst I gripped the desk and did everything I did to not be caught into his alluring trap, we were instructed to do something. Edward pulled the microscope towards him and with the swiftest glance muttered 'prophase.' Oh, just hearing his velvet voice made me shiver!

He looked up and pushed it to me, our fingers clashed when I went to pull the piece of equipment towards me. The sentiment was amazing. Again, his slightest touch sent electric waves throughout my body.

'I'm sorry.' He looked a bit chagrined as I jerked my hand away uneasily.

'Oh, no! My fault! I was always clumsy before, I guess it's coming back again! Just when I thought my most comical trait had left me, it finds me again!' I babbled on, waiting for the blood to rush to my cheeks. Damn. I bet he thought I was _really _weird now!

Fortunately, he seemed to over look my strangeness as a laughing matter. He grinned at me when I finally stopped waffling.

'What?' I asked curiously.

'Nothing. Well, except you cease to amaze me. I can't tell you how much I long to read your mind right now. I really want to see the way your mind works!'

'Um...' I didn't know what to say to _that_, 'I think my brain is a mixture of sparkly fluff with actually only a few brain cells. Or a head full of brain cells that don't work.' He started to laugh again as we worked our way through the task and were now finished. Other pairs had barely even figured out the first, and now our teacher was eyeing us suspiciously. 'Anyway, you've gone for so long without hearing anyone else's minds, I doubt one more person, or vampire, makes a difference!'

'Oh, well the thing is, I _can _read minds. Just not yours' He flashed me a grin portraying a perfect set of teeth. He had me on edge again.

Our teacher had now reached our table, and rapped our desk with his biro. He peered at us over his glasses, but I only saw him out the corner of my eye. I was still stalling by staring at Edward with a small grin on my face.

'As much as I wouldn't like to disturb your flirtatious chatter, you have work to do.' He snapped.

It was only then that I realised we were both turned on our lab stools to face each other and were leaning in slightly. I guess he mistook the grins on our faces to be charming, though how he thought I had a chance of seducing this amazing person next to me, I had no idea. Edward, still gazing at me, said,

'Sir, we finished minutes ago.'

'Face me when I'm talking to you!' He said impatiently. He rapped his biro on the desk again. I felt the increasing urge to snap the irritating thing in half for his nattering didn't mean a thing when you had a Greek God looking into your eyes. I winked at Edward cheekily and swivelled around graciously to face him, ending with my chin on my hand, propped up on my elbow. We were inches apart, and he jumped back quickly when I looked into his eyes underneath my lashes.

'I'm _so _sorry sir. We really have finished and were just catching up with each other,' I leaned in further and lowered my voice, 'We will wait quietly, if you want us to.' I battered my lashes in what I hoped was an alluring way whilst I leaned back and folded my arms casually.

The teacher's eyes goggled; he looked mind blown.

'O-of c-coarse, Miss Swan. You may chat, of coarse!' He stuttered over the words, not even bothering to look at Edward. His eyes were fixed on mine. Okay, my trick had worked – and oh, how lucky I was – but I was kind of disgusted the way a middle aged man would even consider looking at me that way. Ew!

He rambled back off to his desk, and I turned to face Edward again. I had only just realised what he said. A mind reader! My life was plunging into the supernatural far too quickly for my liking. Why couldn't I be let down slowly?

'Mind reader, huh?' In what I hoped was an untailored tone, but it didn't hide the shock I felt.

He let out a smirk, but he was still sat stiffly, and twitched occasionally. His expression was half-amused and half-fractious.

'Um, did I do something?' I asked worriedly. The last thing I wanted was to drive him away.

He snapped out of his stance and grinned crookedly again. His captivating beauty was enough to turn me crazy! 'No, no! What you did with poor Mr Watts there was quite comical, actually! It's just the thoughts of everyone in this room... they're all on you.'

'Me?' Why would they be on me? I knew everyone stared and that, but with someone like Edward in the room, that's all my thoughts would be on! Except I had the privilege of having a drawn-out conversation with him.

'The girls are all jealous and the guys are all wowed.' He smirked. 'They're all amazed by your prettiness.' He added matter-of-factly. Then, realising what he had said in comparison to my bewildered face he ran his hand through his already tousled bronze hair. Oh, God, he looked _gorgeous _when he did that!!

He peered at me again and laughed. 'Why are you so shocked?'

'I'm hardly _that _good looking... especially not compared to you and your family...' I mumbled the the latter statement under my breath, for only myself to hear.

He caught it of coarse. He was a vampire.

'Oh come on. Rosalie was worrying about the challenge you might cause her, but Emmett managed to convince her for the mean time.'

'_Rosalie? _Rosalie is the second most amazing and beautiful person I have ever seen!' This was unbelievable now!

'You are prettier.' He insisted. Before I could open my mouth to reply he leaned forward so we were barely inches apart from each other, 'Who's the first?' I got a wave of his scent. It was almost too much.

Ahh! I did not mean for that to slip! 'Eh, heh, I'm sure you could guess! It's embarrassing. He would never see me that way anyway. Agh! Now you have made me slip again!'

I had said way to much, but he still persisted.

'Who?'

'Nope.'

'Please?'

_You of coarse! _I wanted to say, but I feared the reaction more than anything else. I _wanted _to say the words.

I shook my head and he finally dropped it. Or so I thought.

'If you tell me, I will join you in all of your classes so your not lonely!' He smiled. Ohhhh......

'Okay!' Oh geez, I sounded mega excited now! I mean, of coarse I was, but I didn't want him to know that!

He winked at me and he persevered. 'Who?'

So I said the words whilst looking into his eyes. 'You.' They were quiet and far to low for human ears. I almost thought he didn't catch them until his eyes widened and he shook his head. 'I'm hardly anything to look at.'

'Oh come on.' I said sarcastically. I swear I would be a red as red can be right now.

With someone like Edward sitting by my side, I didn't register the human scent and the rest of the lesson passed uneventfully, and I wondered whether I had said too much. Oh well... I knew it was too good to be true. He was sure to end up with someone else soon. Now that I thought about it, maybe he had a girlfriend already! Alice said that he didn't, but I don't know... Oh great, Bella! Now what have you done? I felt like storming out of the class room there and then.

My patience only kept me until the bell. Ah, finally! Freedom!

I felt a hand catch my shoulder prior to my escape.

'Um, look I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable by saying what I did, it was stupid of me, especially if you have a girlfriend and all that...' I blabbed the words out before I could change my mind.

He was running his hand through his hair again. Did he have _any _idea how dazzling he looked? I just thanked my lucky stars (that had actually turned lucky today for the first time ever) that he couldn't read my mind – I was still confused about that.

'Girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend.' He chuckled, 'No, no! It's my fault! I didn't know you could feel that way... about me.' He laughed nervously, which, even in the short time I had known him seemed out of character, 'I was wondering... do you want a lift home?'

'Seriously?' I asked incredulously.

'Um.. yeah!' We laughed in time with each other.

Maybe he liked me after all...

**Yeah, I won't be updating tomorrow (sorry everyone!) because I have a concert – I am seeing Pussycat Dolls (oh yeah!) and I might be able to Friday. I might be able to Saturday, but in the evening I have a party and am at my friends overnight and part of the next day, so I will post something Sunday, it's just whether your get over on chapter or not. Given all the homework the teachers just love to torment us with. Even though exams aren't until 2/3 years away. _Joy._**

**Thanks for reading (and dare I ask: Please Review!)!**


	6. In the meadow

**Hello! Thanks for all your reviews, I reckon I am going to ask for them all the time now (Lol!)! All your reviews, story alerts, favourites, really mean so much to me! It's just great how you all seem to be enjoying this story that some random teenager has written. :) The concert was great by the way; Lady Gaga, Ne-Yo and Pussycat Dolls all in one! ;)**

**On with the story! (and the disclaimer...)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognise as Stephenie Meyer's**

Edward walked me out the classroom and headed towards the parking lot. This school was so small I felt I already knew my way around it!

'I -' He started when I accidentally cut him off.

'I've-' Oops. There I go again. Opening my big mouth and blabbing out everything. I just interrupted him! Geez, what is wrong with me today?

'I'm sorry!' We said in unison. He laughed but I couldn't help feeling bad. And nervous.

'I've just remembered, I need to give something in to the office.' I said, nodding in the direction.

'Okay, I'll bring my car round.'

I watched him melt into the crowd and felt a bit bad about my rudeness. I hope he didn't think I didn't like him. I mean it was anything but that! I just didn't know how to respond. I had never felt this way before. Every comment, every expression was so much to take in with my fresh senses. This strange attraction I felt towards him wasn't normal.

I subconsciously handed my slip in and pushed open the door and strode down the front steps deep in thought. His scent secured my attention as soon as the tip of my shoes touched the concrete. I almost dissolved on the steps when I caught sight of his face through the window. I was aware of the crowd's fixation on my face as every step took me closer to the shiny, silver Volvo. I could almost feel the crowd analysing my every move, noting in every way how long it took me to reach the door handle. I glanced up inquisitively and felt perfidious glares meet mine. There was no doubt about it. The girls faces were a contrast between envy and jealousy; sour and bitter. The guys were transformed from desirous to hard when they saw it was _Edward Cullen's_ car I was climbing into.

I knew I was right. He was a big hit around here. I'm sure the new vamp in town had just distracted them temporarily.

I slid into the leather seat and shut the door with the slightest amount of force. No one had stopped scrutinizing me. I let out a sigh.

'Long day?' He laughed as I heard his foot make insubstantial pressure with the pedal. It was mind blowing, how much I heard. Like the way everyone was whispering whilst casting the car glances as it drifted out of the lot. I blocked them out and focused on Edward. It was almost too easy.

'Tell me about it.' I muttered and slipped down the seat a little. Edward just chuckled and in what seemed no time at all the car came to a stop. I internally cursed the ride for being so short. I was already shocked with myself for the outrageous craving I felt for him. When I closed my eyes, I saw his face. When I spoke to a guy, I compared them to him. When I worked, part of my mind was always on him. It was all Edward, Edward, Edward. I couldn't figure out this feeling. Whenever we touched I felt like the time when I first laid my eyes on him: awe.

'Um...' He started.

'Oh!' I just realised I had been sitting there with my eyes closed for several minutes whilst his car was stopped outside my house. 'I'm sorry! I was just lost in thought!' I laughed nervously. Had I blown my chance now? It should happened already... I wasn't usually this hare brained. Just around him. I felt slight irritation. I had only known him for several hours and already he had this effect on me.

'Don't worry about it! I'm like that when I play my music. Sorry I disturbed you...' He ran his hand through his hair, I realised this was a habit of his. Well, I wasn't complaining; it just made me want to touch him even more. I blamed him, of coarse.

'What instrument do you play?' I couldn't imagine him playing guitar. Well now I could – the image was quite nice...but it didn't suit him.

'Piano.'

Wow. I mean, it really fit his character. I bet he was amazing.

'Do you? Play anything, I mean?' He asked curiously.

'Oh, no. I'm not good at anything like that.' Gee, I bet I sounded really plain. Mind you, I kind of was. I couldn't play an instrument, my vampire abilities were quite average (I had concluded, avoiding my weather-controlling talent), I couldn't paint, draw, act. I wondered about singing. My new voice was pretty and high. I wondered what my singing voice would sound like. Would I be any good?

'Do you... have any activities?' He pressed.

'No.' I instinctively fiddled with my hair; plaiting it and un-plaiting it, 'I can't do anything like that.' I ducked my head, embarrassed.

'That's okay. I'll teach you.' I peeped through my sheet of hair and saw he was grinning. 'Do you have a talent? Like, me and my mind reading, you know?'

My head shot up. 'Ah! I do! Do all vampires have a gift?'

His eyes brightened and we both leaned forward in interest. 'No, it's just me, Alice and Jasper. But people always bring _something _from their past with them. Like Rosalie and her looks, Emmett and his strength. My parents, Carlisle and Esme, brought their passion and devotion. I guess this is all pretty new for you, being a new born.' He looked quite respectful at me when he said that. I didn't really get the whole 'self control' thing.

'Oh. I see... wait, you parents?'

'Not biological. They sort of adopted us through the years.' He smirked, shaking his head. 'Anyway, your gift? I'm curious.'

'Hmm... I have to _show _you. I'll just write Charlie a note.' I opened the door and paused, looking back at him.

'Mm?'

'How did you know where I lived?' My eyes were narrowed.

He looked blank for a moment. Like he didn't know what to say. 'Er..' Another eighth of a second. Small, but I registered it. 'Your dad is Chief Swan. Everyone knows him.' He laughed, as though it was obvious.

I wasn't fooled. I would figure him out – just not now.

It was only a few seconds where I met him on the driveway, having written Charlie a note that I was out with a friend. Technically, I was.

'I need a clearing, or something. Where you can see the sky.' I didn't know my way around here.

Edward's face lit up. 'I know of the perfect place!' He grabbed my hand and led me through the maze of a forest.

I didn't notice the the sounds of animals scurrying away to hide as we passed through. I didn't notice the tawny trail disappear of as we averted to a different direction. I didn't notice the leafy trees that billowed around us. I didn't even notice the thrill of running; something I enjoyed so much. I only felt his hand on mine: unmoving and still, never moving despite the speed we were travelling at.

He lead the way through two trees into a meadow. It was breath taking. The long, lush grass flowed in the grass singing their sweet melody, humming to each other in harmony with choirs of flowers. The trees that paraded the edge watched in reverence at the beautiful show that was being carried out, they raised their bows in joy to this tune of the music.

I gasped and ran out into the middle and turned a full circle gazing at everything around me. I didn't know there could ever be a place that existed like this. It was magical!

'Wow...' I breathed and felt Edward next to me. We sat down on the grass and I couldn't help but lie on my back. My thoughts were filled with Edward in this meadow. It was breath taking. We were only inches apart and I felt the magnets struggle again. I just wanted him to hold me in his arms whilst we lay here. I sighed and wished that such a thing could ever happen. Because I knew it couldn't. Like our conversation before I wondered why he was with me. There must be a reason behind it. I couldn't care right now – I just wanted to be with him.

'Your gift? It looks like it might rain.'

'It will in... 9 minutes.' I replied simply. 'It doesn't _have _to though. Not if I don't want it to.' I shifted my upper half closer to him, and raised my arm to point upwards so he could see where I was indicating. See as it is colouring ever so darkly. It's going to rain. But all the same...' I barely had to think about the clouds moving away from this meadow and letting the sun shine brightly and it did. '...things don't have to be set in stone.' I turned my head towards him and smiled. Bad decision. He was turned to me too and we still kept the inch apart.

The sun shone down on us and I saw his face turn into the shimmering diamonds I had so often seen my own skin do. The urge and desire I felt for him pulsed through me and I felt I couldn't control it. One part of me was cursing my decision but the majority was saying: '_you will only ever be friends. If you do it now then what have you got to lose?'_

I leaned in a tiny fraction but it made a great difference. He leaned in too, our eyes were locked on each others, I expected to feel myself melt sooner or later. We were millimetres apart now, but no part of our bodies were touching. I could feel his sweet breath on my lips. And that did it.

I barely had to reach in towards him, when I felt he was leaning in too. Our lips touched gently. I leaned in further, harder, pressing myself against him, wanting more. Edward responded immediately, wrapping one arm around my waist and with the other he caressed my face. It felt so tempting that I pushed myself further against him, aware of the way I was curled around him, he rolled onto his back whilst my hands grasped his hair to bring him even closer. His lips opened and mine did the same. I let out a moan as his scent intoxicated my lungs. He was too irresistible for his own good. After a few minutes I felt wet on my back and realised the clouds had drawn back in. I pushed them away but then my actions hit home.

I pulled away with the greatest control I could muster. As soon as my lips had left his I wanted more. His eyes were fastened on mine, smouldering. I just couldn't get enough of him. And after that experience I knew that I would never, without a doubt, find anyone that I wanted as much as Edward. But the truth was, I had just made the suffering of being without him had just got a whole lot worse. I wonder what would happen now. Would we go back to being friends? Acquaintances, even? Or would he act like I just didn't exist at all? I didn't know, except one thing was for sure:

I had just made out with Edward Cullen.

My eyes widened as I looked down and saw myself shaped around him in a way that was no where near suitable for two people who had only known each other for hours. I pushed myself off his chest and rolled away to sit up in a ball, clutching my knees to my chest. I was vaguely aware of Edward sitting up behind me, I didn't fancy knowing what he thought of me right now.

I raised my fingers to my lips and whispered, 'My first kiss...' My tone got harsher and colder, 'My first kiss quickly turns into a making-out scene with a guy that doesn't even like you. Way to go Bella!' I was nearing hysterics now, 'Just force yourself onto a perfectly nice person like that! He tries to be friendly and all I give him is this. He probably thinks your like all the other girls now – just want some one because they are good looking. Just great!'

I had forgotten that Edward was in the meadow with me. 'I don't think of you in that way.' His voice was distant and I turned to see that he had his head in his hands. 'I'm sorry I did that to you. I had no right. I sorry it was so bad.' He sounded pained.

'Are you worrying I didn't enjoy it?' I asked incredulously, not waiting for an answer, 'That was by far one of the best experiences of my entire _life. _It's me that should be saying sorry! And I am, I sincerely am. And if you don't want to know me any more, then I fully understand.'

He was by my side in a flash, and he lay his hand on my shoulder whilst looking in my eyes. 'Of coarse I want to be around you! After that I doubt I could leave unless you wanted me to. I haven't met anyone like you. Every time we touch...it feels like,'

'I get an electric shock.' I joined in with him.

He blinked, 'You feel the same?'

'Hell yeah! I can't keep away!'

I didn't know what to expect after that but he pulled me into a hug. Whether it had a double meaning or not I wasn't sure. I took it as a friendly gesture.

Sighing, I gazed at the sky. 'I should be getting back right now. Charlie won't be very pleased if he doesn't have any dinner on the table.'

Edward pulled me up, but I clung onto his hand, embarrassment turning into relief when he didn't pull it away. We ran silently through the trees as we neared my house. I tugged on his hand, we came to a stand still.

'What do you do at night. Once you have done homework and stuff. I get really bored sometimes.' I asked him. I had a whole lot of nights ahead of me and I needed something to do.

'After finishing to my homework to an extent that it's perfect, I might... read a book, compose some music, play some music. Most of the time I spend it with my family.'

'Oh.' Well. What would I do then.

He pulled me into another unexpected hug and spoke, 'It must be hard for you. If you ever need some help, me and my family are always here. I'll introduce you to my family sometime.' He smiled and pulled back. After squeezing my hand, he ran off to collect his car that was parked in an off road trail. I already missed him...

I was about to take off again when he came running back. Huh?

'Jacob Black is in your house. You can't go in there!' His posture was rigid and tense and his fists clenched. 'I don't know what he's doing over the borderline.'

**Okay, sorry for not updating in a while. I went to a party dress as a vamp. Hehe!**

**Please review and thank you loads for reading!**


	7. Dangerous

**Ciao, my faithful readers! I bring you Chapter 7! A big shout (haha..) to ALL my reviewers and those who have added to story alerts or favourites! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is recognised as Stephenie Meyer's**

**D A N G E R O U S**

"'Jacob? Jacob Black?'

'Yes, that's right.' Edward growled and his muscles tensed.

'Jacob Black! I know him!' Aha, I remembered somebody after all!

'You _know _him?' He exasperated the words and twitched.

'Of coarse I know him. Well I used to. I haven't seen him in years but we were friends when we were young. We always used to hang out at La Push when Charlie and Billy went fishing.'

'What the hell is that stink?' Eww, it was really bad, like _dog_. 'It's like dog or something!' I guess I hadn't noticed it earlier due to my lack of observation around Edward.

'That's him.'

'Huh? Jacob never smelt like this before! Not from what I remember anyway. Mind you I suppose being a vampire... Say, what??' I just registered what the situation was, 'Why is Jacob in my house?'

'He is here with Billy. He doesn't know that you've changed. Yet.' His tone was dark and unnerving.

'Why would he know what we are?' Was there something I wasn't grasping here?

'He's a werewolf. And he is wondering why the smell of a vampire is so strong in your house.'

'...werewolf? What the hell? What do you mean werewolf?' I started ranting again, 'Why is life so freakin' _twisted?_ Why does everything you know, or think you know turn into a lie?' I poured out my thoughts into hissing words lathered in fury. Grabbing a branch of a tree I ripped it from the root and threw it against another. My voice was a whisper; my shoulders were hitched, '...where did reality get lost?'

I felt arms wrapped around me as I stood there in the trees, shaking. Turning in Edward's arms, I sobbed invisible tears into his chest. My eyes stung as he held me in our tight embrace.

I looked into his eyes. 'My mom thinks I'm a stranger.' I had explained briefly before about my life before in the snatched moments of the Biology lesson, 'When she came home to find me changed, she wondered who I was. She didn't even know her own daughter... she would talk to Phil and wonder what happened to me. They didn't didn't know what to believe. She thought the pressure of school had finally got to me... so she convinced herself.' Edward held me tighter at this but I stayed intent on telling him. I had spent so long with the guilt bottled up in me that it felt so _right _to let it all out. I was hurting more than I let on. 'They were going to Jacksonville, hoping it would do me good. But they were just as relieved when I decided to leave for Forks... who can blame them? Now Charlie looks at me and doesn't know what to say. He looks at me and sees Bella, he still sees Bella. But a new Bella. He wonders why I don't trip, why I don't eat, why I look so different, why my eyes change colour, why my skin is so cold and why I always look so tired when I go to bed so early. But he doesn't say anything. Nothing.'

I started to sob again at that, 'And now, as if to pile on the realism, I find out that there is a _werewolf_ in my house.'

Edward hadn't said a thing through my entire speech, so I apologized quickly. Perhaps he wouldn't understand after all. He looked at me curiously; then he took me by surprise. Again. He kissed my forehead in a comforting manner and leant down to whisper in my ear, _'I'm here for you.'_

We just stood there, like that meters away from the house, covered from view by the shanty bushes and elderly oaks, just standing in our sweet embrace. When I realized:

I had Edward. He would help me.

And I was happy.

'Werewolf, huh?' I muttered weakly into his chest, after a minute.

'Mm... he knows we're out here and is getting impatient. Come on, lets go.'

'Go? Why should we leave?' _We, us, me and you, _I thought in my head.

'I'm not letting you go into that house when there is a werewolf in there!' He snarled the word 'werewolf' and clutched me tighter to him – if that was possible.

'Why? It's not like he'll attack me or anything. Jacob has always be very friendly, I'm sure he hasn't changed.' Imagining Jacob doing anything like that to me was almost hopeless. His kindness had always been so... _impossible._

'Really?' He laughed humorlessly. 'You really think I would let you?'

I don't know why he was acting all protective – not that I didn't like it of coarse – I just couldn't get my head round the fact he thought Jacob would hurt me. Like Jacob was a werewolf.

'Spend the night at my house.' He said simply.

In truth, I was staggered. Spend... the night? Calm, Bella, calm... 'And what will I say to Charlie?' Thank goodness my mind worked so fast.

'Alice invited you over.'

'I don't think Charlie will trust that, some how.' Not that I didn't want to spend the night at his house. But I couldn't sound too eager could I? 'Especially after one day of school.'

'Alice is a very forward person.'

I raised one eye brow, understanding that was the best I was to receive for now.

'Fine, wait here for me. I'll get my stuff.' I turned to walk off towards my home as if I had just returned from school. His hand touched my shoulder and my insides flipped.

'I told you that you aren't to go in there alone.'

'What will Charlie say? I can't read minds, but I know what he would think if I turned up with a boy at my side after one day of school.'

He just shrugged and said, 'You can't stop me.'

'Argh!' I stamped my foot like an impatient child. 'Why are some people so difficult?'

'You're the difficult one, not me.' Then all amusement was lost and his voice was serious, strained even. 'Please, Bella. I'll wait at the bottom of the stairs out of sight. Jacob isn't going to let this go easily. Bella, for me?' God, did he know how to persuade one stubborn girl. Just dazzle 'em.

'Fine,' I huffed, 'But don't think you don't owe me.'

We turned towards the house and rang on the bell. As soon as the door opened Edward was out of sight, where he said he would be. I felt his honey scent linger in the air, when the disgusting dog odor engulfed me. It was gross! It smelt so bad in here!

'Hey Bells, did you have a nice walk?' Charlie greeted me lightly. 'It's nice to know you've already made some friends. What are their names?' I could hear the double meaning behind the words.

'Thanks dad, it was great. Nice to get fresh air.' I made my way through the door as we went to the living room. The smell was patronizing. I felt like the air had been polluted. 'Er.. just Alice Cullen, you know...' I trailed off as I scanned the room and saw two dark heads. Both flashed around at once Billy's aged, wise face and Jacobs hate-filled one. Jacob? Wow, he looked like someone the age of 23 not 16! The stench was coming from Jacob, and I found it repelled me instantly. The last time I saw him was 3 years ago, I can't remember his face, except I knew it wasn't supposed to look like this. Jacob was friendly and, even though I didn't see him much, he always had a smile on his face. But he wasn't happy now. The eyes were hard and his mouth grim. I felt a growl building up at my throat, for an instant swamped in nothing but the desire to lurch at him there and them.

Shocked at myself, I stammered out, 'Hi Jacob, Billy. Nice to see you again.'

They didn't reply but Jacob started to shake – anger? All I knew was that I wanted to get out of this stuffy little room. I was scared. Jacob _scared _me. I didn't and couldn't work out how I knew, just knew, that he had power to pull me apart and rip me to shreds. There I was in this hate filled room, facing my possibly new enemy, and all I wanted was to be with Edward. Where I was safe.

'Dad, sleepover, Alice!' I squeaked and dived for the stairs, flitting up them in seconds and entering my room, Edward by my side. I picked a bag and slowly selected clothes for tomorrow. I heard the all too unwelcome visitors say their all too sudden goodbyes, and tried to surround myself with Edward.

This wasn't the end. Oh no. This was just the beginning.

Jacob Black had it in for me. And for all I could tell, it wasn't just him. What had I done?

'Wait for me downstairs?' I asked quietly – the whole time he had been standing there, acknowledging my reaction to the danger.

With a nod of his head he had disappeared, the air left a slight breeze from the motion, sending his aura towards me. The smell seemed to soothe me slightly; at least I had Edward to look out for me now.

Flying down the stairs after checking my bag three more times, I hugged Charlie. I had to squeeze my eyes shut at his scent, and I felt him shudder under the touch of my skin. Cringing internally, I pulled away and forced myself to breathe. 'I'll be back before you know it.' I knew Charlie would have liked me to spend this night with him – he had only just got me back – but I guess he would have to do without.

'I know. It's nice you have made friends so quickly. Alice Cullen, huh?' Double meaning: _Of coarse you have made friends so fast with your looks, and you are already hanging out with the best looking people in town._ Well, Dad. I _am _a vampire.

'Um, well, see you.' I flashed a toothless smile (people get a bit uncomfortable about them sometimes) and walked out the door, desperately trying to maintain the painfully slow speed.

His hand was in mine as soon as I shut the door. I still sensed the electric reaction, but I couldn't undermine the fact that the fear was there bubbling away. I didn't know how to fight, to fend for myself. I was pretty sure I could, but the hate I felt from him was enough to push me off balance.

Getting into the Volvo for the second time today was different – free of stares. But not free of fear. I much preferred the first experience. I noticed every movement, every change in the weather. Like in a scary movie where you just _know _something is going to jump out at you, any minute, any second. Except this was no horror movie. This was reality. And it was out to get me – again.

Down a nearby forest road, Edward slammed the brakes on the car. Despite the darkness that shrouded Forks at this time of year – it was only seven – my eye sight caught everything. I could see quite well that tall, lanky figure that blocked the road. That Edward could have easily ran over.

Jacob.

The fear welled inside me again. He was dangerous – my instincts told me and everything about him was screaming it. But the hate that he felt towards me was _loathing._ It was impossible but it was true.

I glanced fearfully at Edward, the panic pumping in my stationary veins. My brain was telling me: _run, run before it's too late! _But I couldn't leave Edward here. No way could I do that. His eyes were smoldering, yet again I felt I would melt. Yet there was no crooked smile on his lips, nothing that could tell me that Jacob didn't really want me dead, he didn't really want to fill the ravishing desire to see me die. There was nothing there to tell me that this wasn't real.

'We better get out.' I didn't move; I stayed there clutching the edges of my seat, paralyzed.

'I won't let him hurt you.' His voice was gentle now, not hard and serious as it was before.

'He wants me dead. He hates me.' I choked the words out.

The door opened behind me, a pair of russet coloured hands were placed on my shoulders. Not in a friendly manner, but crushing with force that should crumble my bones.

'Of coarse I do, you filthy little blood sucker.' His voice was not cheerful and friendly, as I knew it was, but hard and malicious. I never saw Jacob much, but I knew he liked me. He dragged me off the seat and shoved me off him.

As soon as I was out of the car I was into Edwards arms. He was shaking uncontrollably, with anger. He hated Jacob too. Was there some feud here, something I could not comprehend? My dexterity was somewhat slowed by the confusion of it all. Edward let out a growl and held me in a protective stance. My breathing was faster than usual, even though I didn't need the action.

A tiny part of my brain wondered why, although I could hear the blood pumping through his veins, Jacob didn't provide the blood lust for me that someone like Charlie did. Was it the smell? It was certainly true that it was overpowering and some what distinguishing. It made sense that he smelt so badly of dog...

'Oh come on,' Jacob sneered, 'Hand her over, I'll finish her off and we'll hear nothing more of the matter.'

Edward let loose a feral snarl in his chest and tensed his position around me, 'I'll do nothing of the sort. Hurt her, you have to get through me first.'

'Oh come on, found your true love already?' He mocked lightly.

I turned and looked at my approacher with apprehension, 'Jacob... I may have changed on the outside but I'm still the same person.'

'You're not Bella. You're a blood sucker, a filthy leech!'

I flinched at his words. I considered us quite close – on the verge of friends – but 3 years could change a lot. After all, it only took me 3 days.

'Don't you dare call her that!' Edward spat out the words, his arms were forming at protective cage around me. I felt safe in his arms. Then it hit me – I wasn't just scared for myself. I was scared for Edward. I cared so much for him!

'Let me have her and the treaty won't be violated.'

'You shouldn't be here anyway.' Edward was so infuriated, I was guessing that it was only my presence that made him stop attacking the changed Jacob.

'Bella is the reason I changed. If she hadn't come then I could be normal!' He looked antagonized – he didn't want to be whatever he was and was blaming me for it. 'The more vampires, the more werewolves.'

'You would've changed anyway. You're in the Black bloodline.' Edward's words were simple but the effect was the diminishing of the thin thread of peace.

'SHUT UP!' Jacob lurched towards us, but Edward dodged expertly out of the way. After all, he was a mind reader. Turning on the spot, he stood, shaking and seething, his eyes only on me. I was his prey.

As much as I wanted to run for my life, I wanted to protect Edward. I should offer myself? It could cause trouble but the effects would be better. This incident would be forgotten.

'Take me. Just leave the Cullens alone.' I whispered, still in shock after the harsh attack.

'No.' Edward answered, 'No.' He repeated.

Jacob just grinned and breathed deeply.

With my quick reflexes I noticed him go to attack again, until he collided with Edward.

'Like I said, you will have to get through me first.' Edward said it quietly; he contradicted my last speech.

'Okay then, if you want to play pretty boy.' Jacob was already on his feet. In half a second he went from badly shaking through transformation into a huge wolf. It was massive! It was gray with shaggy fur, crouched ready for attack.

Edward was already in front of me when he launched, swerving out the way of the large wolf. Jacob, I reminded myself. Yet seeing him like this somehow really brought down the realization of danger. Jacob was dangerous. But so was I...

The great beast had already turned – a movement so nimble for a creature so large – and prepared to attack or defend. It was Edward who made the movement this time; he was so fast I wouldn't have seen the movement with my human eyes. Human... I was vampire now. I could do something to help Edward – even if I didn't know how to fight.

Slowly stepping forward, the trance of no movement was broken by the snarls and growls I could hear from the fighting pair. They were turning in circles. Jacob would advance every so often, but Edward, sensing his thoughts deftly dodged them. In this case the wolf made contact with the vampire and I felt sheer anger at the sight. Without considering the outcome I lurched myself at inhuman speed and crashed into the shoulder of the beast. The snap of many bones was enough to make me grimace.

Whether it was out of instinct I do not know, but his deep brown eyes that I sorely missed off myself bore into mine as his head snapped round to bite _my _shoulder. The pain was surprising, but minimal as the angle he caught me from was quite dodgy. Yet it was enough to swing me into a tree. It was one of the edge of the forest, and the impact was enough to cause it to shudder and fall. I was already back on my face to see Edward my side and Jacob in front. He wasn't going down without a fight.

He went to move again, but was hounded by the injury I caused. I tried to feel bad, yet my senses told me to be satisfactory. Why? He was my enemy of coarse.

'If we leave now, he won't follow us.' Edward said in my ear with an undertone voice.

With a nod of my head, I followed him through the edge of the trees where Jacob limped off. I didn't realize I was shaking. Badly. The fear was too much, Jacob frightened me.

He wasn't going to lay off until I was dead.

**Okay, okay, been ages since I update sorry! And I know that some of you won't like Jacob like this but think: if she never got to know him like she did in New Moon, they wouldn't be very close. Also, think about his hate for the Cullens already, a new one in town is just as bad. Finally, he can't accept that he was destined to become a werewolf, so he blames Bella. **

**Hope that's cleared up, the chapter is longer than usual, thanks for reading! (Review, merci!)**


	8. Reassurances

**Hello! Sorry guys, ages since I posted, I know, I know... and I also know that Jacob would never do that to Charlie... let us clear that up in this chapter... I'm all achy from my gymnastics so I can't do much else today... my back is flexible though – enough to make people go 'ugh!'. I am a few inches off getting my bum to touch my head. I am so proud. Anyways you didn't want to know that, sorry sorry. I'm in a funny mood. I don't know what it is. But I am. Thanks to reviewers, favouriters (that a word?) and subscribers. You DO make my day. You really do ;) **

**Disclaimer: I'll say it seven times and this is the eighth "everybody chant now!" 'I do not own anything that you recognise as Stephenie Meyer's' Funny how we all know know it off by heart.**

**Like I said, I'm in a funny mood. I keep speaking in a French accent. And laughing like a gremlin. And falling off the chair. I think it was the history essay of the causes of world war one that did it. Perhaps I finally gone mad. Lets hope it doesn't affect the story... I've said too much haven't I?**

**R E A S S U R A N C E S**

We walked out of the trees to the edge of the road where his Volvo sat parked in the centre of the track. I breathed a sigh of relief. Jacob was gone – for now.

I didn't even notice I was shaking. Edward put his arm around me as we came to the door of his car. I couldn't help myself but throw us into a desperate hug. I dry sobbed into his chest for what seemed like forever. He didn't say anything, but just held me there, tightly. I like that. Like there was no tomorrow.

When the final sobs ceased to rack my body any further I looked up into his eyes, trying to search for words that I could conjure up.

'...I.. I was so scared!' I whispered mutely, my entire focus was on him. Every detail on his perfect face was mesmerizing. But now, in the slight moonlight, it was different – mysterious. I wanted more already.

'Don't be.' Was all he said when our lips met again for the second time that day. This time the kiss was not passionate but rougher, harder. This time I knew exactly what I was doing. I wasn't going to stop unless he wanted me to. I didn't care any more. I realised if I had Edward, then there wasn't any point of anything else – not now, not here. Maybe tomorrow, when I saw my father and emailed my mom. But for now, I wanted to forget and lose myself in the kiss. Perhaps I would regret it when we would finally part. But rebellious side had once again taken over.

Our tongues were crashing and fingers wandering. He whirled us around so I was pressed between him and the car. I didn't mind the compact space – I wanted him closer. I pulled his shirt closer, trying not to rip it. His hands where on my waist; mine in his gorgeous bronze hair that felt as good as it looked. We just got closer and closer, every second more intimate. My fingers untangled themselves from his hair and trailed towards his chest. He trailed kisses down the edge of my jaw to my collar bone – it felt so right. I didn't understand how he could want me this way, but I wasn't holding back. My lips soon claimed his again. Just when his soothing finger tips left my waist to my hips, he stiffened and pulled away.

He stood like we had just been having a casual conversation. Not just making out. I felt hurt at the gesture. I thought he liked it, a bit.

The flash of headlights soon answered my silent thoughts. A yellow Porsche rolled up in the faint fog that was gathering. How long had we been here? I looked towards Edward in silent question, but he just looked guilty. I guess he heard them coming – he was a mind reader after all. I was partially chagrined at my uncharacteristic actions but felt some annoyance to the driver. But they also kind of saved us. Because I knew I wouldn't have stopped. I doubt I could have even if I wanted to.

The door to the flashy model swung open and a pixie like figure stepped out. Alice!

'Edward where were you?' She asked madly, as I saw Jasper emerge from the other door.

'We got chatting.' Wow, he made lies seem truthful. I wish I could do that.

'Hmph, I thought you got hurt, even though I couldn't _see _what actually happened exceptthat you both come out fine enough.'

'Just that prat Jacob come to try and hurt Bella.' He growled, fists clenched.

'Calm down Edward! I'm sure he never intended anything!' Jasper retorted – Edward's anger was a bit too much.

'He threw Bella into a tree!' He snarled, shaking a little.

'It was nothing...' I added – I didn't want to seem all hopeless and soppy around them. 'It was me who went for him.'

'Next time please don't!' Edward had turned towards me; his eyes were full of pleading. His hands were on my shoulders and he had to bend a little to meet my eyes if I didn't look up.

'Your mood swings are some what disconcerting.' I joked, 'I can fend for myself, right? He could of hurt you, I couldn't just _stand _there.'

His brow was furrowed, 'I was doing fine.'

'Yes, I know but that's not the point!' I said exasperating my view.

'Then what is?' He was undoubtedly perplexed. I didn't see what was so confusing.

'I didn't want you hurt, me or otherwise!' Was it so hard to get?

Our little heated conversation was intervened by Alice and Jaspers muffled laughs. I looked at them.

'What?'

'Oh, you two can't keep away from each other!' Alice giggled. I looked back at Edward to see our faces inches apart. I was leaning into him! Perhaps he was to, but we had company! I pulled back swiftly, wishing his soft touch of his fingertips would tingle on my skin once again. I also wished I would stop craving him so much!

'I don't know what your talking about.' Edward said cooly, I quickly nodded my head – I knew how false that statement was for _me_. He strode around the car and climbed into the Volvo whilst saying, 'I suppose you know Bella's 'staying the night'?'

Alice broke off her irritatingly cute giggles and said, 'Yes,' He slammed the door shut, and she looked pointedly at me, 'Just got chatting, huh? I got the implication it was more than that!'

I opened my mouth to speak, hearing Edward growl from the car, I would have blushed furtively. The embarrassment weighed on my shoulders – I couldn't hide that from Jasper. He broke into pealed laughter resting his hand on Alice's shoulder. In turn, this only made it worse, so I awkwardly climbed into the passenger seat and clicked the door shut.

We were soon driving off.

'I'm sorry about those two. I guess... they, um, saw us after all.' He muttered, his eyes fixed on the road.

'It's okay, there isn't any need to apologise. I'm sorry for launching myself on you like that. Again.' I couldn't help but look at him, anything he said seemed like the whispering of an angel. He was too gorgeous. I fiddled with my hair as I thought this. Thank God SO much he couldn't read my thoughts. If he could... well, I think he would be pretty much scared of how far my admiration went for him.

'Really, I thought I launched myself at you.' He chuckled.

I kept fiddling with my hair – a habit of mine – until I decided to make conversation on the thoughts that kept running back and forth though my head. 'I can't believe Jacob would do that to Charlie. Billy is his best friend. He wouldn't do it. I'm Charlie's daughter...'

'He wouldn't. He wants to kill you but he knows he can't,' Edward told me, 'He just wants to get revenge on you. He is saying those things to make himself feel better. He wants to kill you but he can't find a loop hole. How he would tell Charlie that your dead... He blames you,' He continued, clutching the steering wheel, 'because he believes you made him turn into a werewolf. The more vampires, the more werewolves. You just set it off early – a little more months and it would have happened anyway. He has Black in his bloodline and is destined to be the leader of the pack... he couldn't have possibly avoided it. It's not your fault.' He insisted. I couldn't help but doubt.

'You promise?' Edward wouldn't lie, I was sure of it. He took my hand and held it.

'I promise.'

-

We rolled up onto the extensive driveway after sitting comfortably silent on the rest of the journey. With Edward holding my hand! If I could have, I'm sure there would have been goosebumps. Edward held the door open for me like the gentleman he is whilst I stared up at the magnificent house before me. It was obviously restored, an era away, painted white and proud standing next to a gushing river.

'Wow,' I sighed, 'Must have took a lot of work?' I smiled at him.

'Yeah, Esme likes stuff like that, we just leave it to her.'

'Come on Bella, meet our parents!' Alice was always so full of energy it was surprising how she contained it sometimes. I'm sure I would be worn out if I was her for a few hours...

Edward motioned me to follow him, I trailed after, my own walk seemed a bit plain compared to Bella's beautiful dance. I patted my hair nervously.

'You look amazing.' Edward winked at me and I'm sure I would have been cherry red. I turned to see Jasper laughing at my embarrassment and Emmett waggling his eyebrows cheekily at me.

'Yeah, Bella, you look _gorgeous_.' Emmett sighed.

I was quite mortified by the remark but fortunately Rosalie smacked him around the back of his head before he could say anything else taunting. I saw Alice open her mouth, when I realised what she was going to say.

'Alice!' Me and Edward gasped together – mine was a girly squeal, where as his has some underlying threat in the words.

Fortunately, before the secrets of our relationship could be spilled, a lovely, elegant woman with a kind smile and a taller, handsome man with blond hair walked in, both with the same topaz eyes I recognised. Wow. I wondered what it would be like to have vampire parents.

'Hello dear, my name is Emse.' The pretty woman pulled me into a tight hug. Her loveliness was overwhelming and was quite contagious. She made me feel right at home.

The man next to her held out his hand and shook it warmly. 'Carlisle. It's a pleasure to have you here.' He said, smiling – ah! The towns doctor. I remember Charlie speaking very respectfully of him. I guess the nurses were all over him, too. Well, I practically knew that everyone was over this whole family. It was such a shame they only saw them for their looks. They loved only the beautiful – not realising they had a good heart. They would devote themselves to someone who could be entirely hateful. They were all such nice people – they deserved more credit.

'You have such a lovely home! Thank you for accepting me here... I'm only a few months 'old', I haven't met any other vampires before. Its all quite new.'

Carlisle nodded, 'I see you've become fast friends with Edward.'

I was worried they would resent me for that, but they seemed _happy_. I heard Alice and Jasper's stifled laugh and flitted a look to see Rosalie and Emmett looking at them questioningly – Emmett a bit too eager for information. He looked all too interested to find something to mock me with. Alice shook her head, but how long would she hold? 'Yes, he has been so kind to me. As have you and the rest of your family, your all so nice.'

'Why don't you take a seat,' Carlisle offered one of the sheen white couches to me where I sat with Edward, 'I have heard about you exceptionable self control. You must tell me about it – right from when you were changed.'

I sighed. I really didn't want to bring up those memories again.

**Not the longest of long chapters I know. I'm not going to even read the authors note at the top, lets just say 'we forgot all about it'. I bet I wrote something weird. And stupid. I don't know, but I seemed to have calmed down. I know this chapter didn't have much moving forwards in it, but I'm just not going to rush the story. Too much. The relationship doesn't count, right? (lol!)**

**Thanks for reading and please review! I can imagine an old woman like a Victorian teacher going 'PAY YOUR RESPECTS AND REVIEW!' She would have a nose like a beak and a big black dress because her husband kicked the bucket ( I wonder why...) then her voice would be snappy and like a crow... and she would have a cushion tied to her head with pins stuck in it because she loved stitching so much... Oh I must go before I go completely weird – the mood is coming back again to haunt me!**

**But please – pay your respects... like at church or something, they say that. Whatever, I'm going now!**


	9. Rebellious, Much?

**Hello everybody! I'm kind of miffed at the moment – it's stopped snowing!! And I thought I might be able to get a day off school... lol! Thanks to those who reviewed, added to favourites and subscribed! You do make my day, indeed you do. :) [Sorry about the weird A/Ns in the last chapter – lets put that behind us, shall we not?]**

**Bear in mind: Bella is a bit insecure with all these surprises and goings on. :) I know she is a bit out of character in this chapter, perhaps I got a bit carried away...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognise as Stephenie Meyer's**

**R E B E L L I O U S, M U C H ?**

_I really didn't want to bring up those memories again. _

I hesitantly sat down on the couch, debating with myself. I couldn't do it. For so long I feigned loss – to myself – about the happenings of that fateful day, I just couldn't think about it again. I wasn't going to risk it. Not now.

'I'm sorry, but those memories are kind of... difficult.' I said shakily. Edward frowned as he sat down next to me.

'You can't tell us?' Rosalie said sharply. Huh? What was with the harshness? Like I was something dangerous. Like I was hiding something. Now everybody but Edward was gazing at me with reserved expressions. His was just curious.

'Not now, no.' I smiled weakly. They were acting kind of strange.

'I'm sorry Bella, we need to know.' Carlisle insisted. His voice wasn't urgent, but clear that I was going to tell him. Well, I wasn't.

I laughed, 'I can't. It hurts.' Their expressions were serious. Esme was smiling sadly; Edward squeezed my hand, 'Why are you acting like I'm some foreign spy or something? Ooh, I really have got a major coven hiding ready to attack you!' I added sarcastically – this wasn't me. It just slipped out. This was going where I thought it was.

'Do you?'

'Hell, no! I'm a few months into being a vampire, what do you take me for?'

'We're sorry Bella, but we don't know how long your control can last. Living the way you do is very risky. We don't know how dangerous you can be. You can come with us and we can help you. Just a few years.' Carlisle was smiling again.

'What so you've just got to know me so you can find out the danger.' I asked quietly, looking down. I felt... betrayed. And angry. I stood up and glared at Edward. 'You _used _me! You took me for granted and used me! I knew it wasn't real, how you could like me like that. I'd much rather face rejection than if you lead me along.'

Hurt. Betrayal. Anger.

'Bella,' Alice now. Oh, another who pretended to be my friend.'we really did want to get to know you. Your different from other vampires. Your not the same. Edward didn't want to pull you in that way, its just because we needed to. If you slipped up then our reputation would be ruined.'

'I thought you saw visions.' I retorted cooly, glaring at her.

'I do! We just needed to be sure. A normal vampire is not like you. We had to be sure.' She said the last sentence in a muffled voice. I felt a pang of guilt but I pushed it away. They used me for information, right?

Hurt. Betrayal.

Who knew what I could bring... perhaps I would slip up. You could never be sure. Never be sure that people are what they say they are, what they act to be. Of coarse I could ruin everything. I was the new girl, after all.

'Bella, everything is cleared up now. Can't we go back to the way it was?' Edward's musical voice. He sounded pained.

'What, fake?' My voice was still callous, I didn't want to do this, 'Now I know why you knew where my house was. Can't make mistakes, right? I'll stay away. I'll only cause you trouble.'

Perhaps I was overreacting. Perhaps I had got it wrong. I didn't deserve these people to be my friends anyway. I would just mess everything up. Perhaps I was too engrossed in my worries to settle them down and see sense. But all I could think was me = danger. I'd only cause them trouble. I already had someone who hated my guts and I didn't know how long his resolve would last.

I turned to leave their household, 'Bella...' Edward, I turned and looked into his eyes.

Hurt.

I ran out the room.

-

Friday. I had been shying away from the Cullens for about one and a half weeks now. I missed them of coarse. But I made them a promise. They were wary or my tenacity to leave the civilisation. I could bring danger. But I was certain that it was only to myself.

I strode into the canteen. People didn't gawk any more; they still looked though. I made my way over to Mike's table. I had half heartedly accepted his request when he realised I wasn't talking to the Cullens. I couldn't sit by my own – they would just sit by me. I didn't pair with Alice in Gym. I didn't speak to Edward in the rest of my lessons. We had to sit by each other in all of them as well. He would try to talk, but soon gave up to watching me instead. I couldn't look him in the face. I missed him too much.

I sat down to receive a typical glare from Lauren and smiles from the rest of the group. The table was more crowded than ever today – people kept 'joining'. Everyone knew I sat here.

'Still not talking to the Cullens then?' Lauren remarked. God, I hated her to the core.

'I don't know what your on about.' I replied politely staring at my food, then pulled out a Calculus book and pretended to be mildly interested.

'Oh, come on. On the first day you were all chatty and now you don't even look at them. They don't speak to anyone. And then they speak to you. Its weird.' Her tone was taunting. I could see where she was getting.

'As a matter of fact, I told _them _to stay away from _me._' I replied coldly – I had said too much, but it felt too right to say something to this self centred girl that sat across from me.

'Suuure.' She extended the word in a sarcastic tone. What had brought on this sudden urge to spotlight me? 'Did they get bored of you?'

'Yes, but they weren't bored enough to give you a try were they?' I knew what she wanted – Edward. I mean, who wouldn't? She was just really getting on my nerves now. The table fell silent at my smart remark.

She just sneered and said, 'I'm not foolish enough to be led on. Edward wants me really.' I clenched my fists and took a deep breath – even though it was unnecessary.

'Yeah, well guess what? He never mentioned it.'

'He wouldn't go telling someone like you. Your not good enough for conversation about someone like _me._' She smirked. Oooh... she was _so _going down. I was vaguely aware of the cafeteria going silent to listen to our verbal fight.

'How come he never even casts a glance at you?' I was trying to keep my cool.

'He's playing hard to get. I know him. You obviously don't.' She mocked me again. I would _not _for stand this.

'Yeah, well I'm obviously know him enough to make out with.' I crossed my arms, smiling.

'You. Did. _Not_.' She seethed.

This was too fun. I just wanted to rub it in her face for all the disgusting remarks she would make about me in the last days. 'Last time I checked, I did. Twice.' I added for effect. I wonder what Edward was feeling now. I didn't care – its not like it mattered any more.

'Liar.' Was all she said.

I slowly rose from my seat my eyes locked on hers. My hands rested on the table as I was slightly crouched forwards. I picked to wear a skirt today – bad choice. I hoped it wasn't _too _short...

I wasn't going to lose it. 'What did you say?' I almost sang the words.

'I said your a liar. He would never make out with you.' She lurched up from her seat, her chair falling to the floor behind her – I giggled and she glared.

'I'm not a liar Lauren. Take my word for it.' I said the words slowly as if she were a toddler. I was just so angry with this girl!

'Prove it.'

'How?' I mean, how could I...?

'Now. Do it now.'

'You sure about that?'

'Not getting cold feet are you?'

I shrugged with a smile and flounced off towards his table. Poor Edward. He was looking up at me with wide eyes. I don't know where this mood came from, but if anything I just had to prove to Lauren. I just had to. Forcing myself to be brave, I looked at Lauren and winked. She was gazing at my actions her mouth open in horror. Along with the rest of the school watching.

I grabbed the front of his shirt and planted my lips on his. The electricity between us raged once more in our vehement kiss. I was firm and held my distance – at first. I yanked his shirt further towards me whilst I was aware of him standing up and wrapping his arms around my body. My fingers explored his hair as they always did. I closed my eyes and let my instincts take over. My hands left his hair and trailed towards his chest. Yeah, we were tonguing. For the third time.

Only vaguely aware of what I was doing, I focused on my 'mission' and shoved him back down in the chair. In a split second I saw Alice and Jasper amazed at my actions; Rosalie and Emmett were practically falling about in laughter. Remembering my determination to get Lauren back I seductively winked at Edward before turning to Lauren.

Around her were wide eyes gaping at me. It was all silent.

'Believe me now?' I larked the words about. Act careless, careless, careless. Calm, calm... Oh, what had I done!?

All Lauren did was give a scream of rage and hiss, 'I'll get you Bella Swan. I will get you for this!' Then she stormed out of the cafeteria door, slamming it behind her. It was quite funny actually. I let out a giggle feeling rebellious again. There was something totally wrong with me today. I looked at Jasper and saw him grinning evilly at me. Oh God. Please no!

I felt wild. Really wild. He was making my mood boisterous! This was so unfair, yet the impulse was so strong that I couldn't resist. I whirled around planted an all-too-long kiss on Edward and let my fingers linger on his lips. All the time the self control was slipping. In an attempt to pull it back, I turned and half skipped my way out of that room. Control, control, control. Jasper was going to pay for this!

Until I realised that I was keeping my distance.

As soon as the red door shut behind me, the murmurs were let loose. No doubt I would be the source of gossip for the next few days. There went my plan of staying away and keeping a low profile. It was obvious Emmett would make witty remarks to me on end. And that girl called Jessica in my Spanish class would pester me for information. Joy.

I got to Spanish first and ran over my thoughts. All the anger and annoyance of Lauren was replaced with satisfaction. I couldn't make a head or tail of it. Why did it matter to me who Edward went out with? Sure I liked him, I admitted that. But these feelings were a bit too strong for like...

The class filled up pretty quickly whilst I was brooding. Edward wasn't here yet. Thank God – I hadn't worked out what I would say to him a lot. I tended to loose myself around him. Ignoring him had been pretty hard.

I felt someone seat themselves of the desk next to me and another pulled a chair in front of my desk. It was Tyler and Jess. Great.

'Nice scene back in the cafeteria.' Tyler shifted uncomfortably on the table as he said it.

Before I could answer Jess butted in, 'Are, like, you and Edward, _together_?' Big gob. Whatever I said now was going straight back to Lauren. Plus the rest of the school.

I saw Edward come through the door as she asked me. 'No.' I replied. I felt a wrench of sadness at the words. It was the truth, though. That's all that mattered, right? I couldn't understand why he continued to respond to me, even though our relationship was nothing but a reason for inside information. Part of me wished I never realised. Part of me wanted the false relationship – if it meant Edward.

He sat down next to me as our teacher walked in, the crowd surrounding me cleared off. How much gossip did they want?

I kept my head down as I unconsciously made notes on the lecture. A piece of paper landed on my page.

(**Bella, **_Edward_)

_Can you tell me exactly what that was back in the cafeteria?_

Eep! What to say, what to say?

**I think you heard mine and Lauren's 'discussion'.**

_Sure did. So did the rest of the school. I never knew you had it in you. There goes your cover up. I don't know which side of you I prefer: the shy, sweet girl, or the pushy, I – don't – care girl... I like both. Anyway, are you talking to me now?_

**Shut up. If you need any more information now and I'll tell you. Just not how I was changed.**

He cast a sad look at me.

_It wasn't me. I want to get to know you, Bella. I really do. Trust me._

**I did.**

He paused until writing something else.

_Let me prove it. It wasn't my idea. Usually vampires want to hunt in this area and cause trouble – we have to stop them. This is why it was necessary to understand that you wouldn't cause any danger._

Well. That was something else.

**You still used me. And I will. Cause you trouble, I mean.**

_Esme and Carlisle are so guilty – as are my siblings. Please, just forgive us. Alice hasn't been the same. Even though we only knew you for a day, Alice could see us becoming great friends. She really wanted that. I'm so sorry. We just did what we thought was right. And, I could have just left you with Jacob. Not that I would dream of it._

My steadfastness was wavering. Pretty bad. I just didn't want them to get hurt.

**I believe you, your forgiven. But I bring trouble where ever you go. I don't want your family to get hurt because of me.**

_They're vampires Bella. Your one of the family now, you just don't realise it._

**Huh?**

_Will you let me make it up to you?__Will you come round after school, stay for the night? Please?_

**FINE!**

He shot me a smile. What had I done to deserve to be friends with someone so amazing? All I did was release myself on him. Poor guy. Ripping out a new piece of paper, I started writing again.

**Sorry about the 'cafeteria incident'.**

I flicked it towards him before I had any second thoughts. Even thinking about it was embarrassing.

_Its okay. You can do it any time you want._

I looked up and he gave me a sexy wink.

Oh. My. God. My heart would have been beating so fast and my cheeks would have been cherry red.

_Now_ I realised the feelings for him.

I was in love.

With Edward Cullen.

**Aww, she finally realised her feelings :) I know she is out of character in parts... but I had fun writing this and I couldn't resist! (I wish it would snow tonight – I really want a day of school. And you know what that means? More fanfiction for you guys! Yay!)**

**Thanks for reading guys, please leave your review – I do reply :) **


	10. Drama

**Guten tag! All you readers are too damn nice! (Not that I want you to turn all horrible on me or anything...) Thanks AGAIN for all the reviews, subscribers and people who favourited! You are on the list of the best people everrrrr!**

**Okay, seeing as the snow was simply too stubborn to show its lovely face enough today, I have made up an anthem:**

***Come on snow**

**Come on snowwwww**

**Come on snoww--oh-oh**

**We LOVE you snow**

**Even though I told you to go away earlier today I didn't mean-ee-een it....**

**COME ON SNOW YOUR BETTER THAN THE QUEEN SO SNOW YOUR SOCKS OFF!***

**Do you like it? I sure do, you have to SHOUT it. So all the snow in the West Midlands, England can hear it. Hopefully the snow will then show itself and give me a day off school. I want ten inches! Also add in a 'yee hah!' for the cowboy effect at the end if you are feeling particularly happy! Sorry about the long AN, I just wanted to share my lovely anthem (and no offence intended to the Queen, but this IS Russian snow we are talking about – practically royalty!) :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognise as Stephenie Meyer's.**

**D R A M A**

I sat through the rest of the lesson in silence, my already full head thinking about my silent revelation. I was in love with Edward Cullen. And I had fallen for him – hard. He kept looking at me curiously, wondering what had brought on this sudden change of emotion. Well he was going to find out.

I had to tell him.

Even if he didn't feel the same way, he needed to know. I couldn't keep it to myself, that was too hard. Tonight was another round at the Cullens. I just hoped that this time round, there would be nothing to interrupt the social meeting. I was both excited and anxious that I would be spending a massive amount of time with... Edward. I spent the next lesson the same, silent and contemplating.

Soon, the bell rang, and Edward turned to me.

'Are you ignoring me again?'

'No. I was just thinking.' Why, _why _would I ignore you Edward if I had the choice??

'About...?'

I looked at him incredulously, 'Not being able to read my mind really annoys you doesn't it?'

He grinned, 'Of coarse it does! A century of mind reading expertise and then you come along and just block me out completely! Bella?'

I was dazed. 'A... century?'

'Um, sure that's how old I am.' He said it like it was obvious. I started laughing.

'Ahaha! You old pensioner..!' He looked mind blown at the words. I set off in another set of giggles when I saw the glint of... _something _in his eyes – what was it?

'Ohhh, Swan you are _so _going down for that!' Still laughing, I got off my chair and ran at human speed out of the empty classroom. Laughing, of coarse! I made my way into the parking lot to see the rest of the Cullens leaning against the Volvo. Still maintaining my human speed, I raced up to them with every one else in the lot watching. Even though Rosalie just glared, the rest of the Cullens were chuckling at the sight of me laughing my head off with Edward chasing after me.

As soon as I reached them, a pair of hands grabbed my waist and pulled me back. I hadn't laughed like this for so long. I felt content, happy. I wasn't used to this majestic feeling.

'I said you were going down.' Edward growled into my ear, I would have shivered if I wasn't too busy laughing. I tried to stifle them but the peals of laughter only came out harder.

'What on earth have you done?' Emmett grinned at us both.

I found my breath, 'I – I... I called him... AN OAP!' The words were out of my mouth and I was uncontrollably laughing again. I felt like my knees should be weak and tears rolling down my eyes.

The rest of his family looked at me as though I was mad, then burst into humour soon after. Yet Rosalie carried on glaring. I brushed it off, hoping my mood would soon catch on.

'Bella, what is so funny about that?' When I had finally calmed down. The parking lot was still quite busy – the school were no doubt surveying our scene. And the way Edward still had his arms around me.

'It's just... the way he looked when I looked when I said it – the disbelief!' I chuckled again, but not uncontrollably.

'You owe me!' Then Edward lifted me up off the ground, fire-man style. I grasped frantically at my skirt – it was way too short!

'Edward, everyone can see up my skirt!' I shrieked. I could have jumped off, but I was too busy grasping my skirt to make sure no one can see up it.

'Sorry, what?' He turned around now.

'Edward!! Put me down!' Everybody in the lot was looking, I could tell. They must think I was some mentally retarded freak by the incidents of today.

'Say that again?' He asked mockingly.

I hissed, much to the amusement of his family.

'Edward, I am really, _really, _sorry for insulting you the way I did, _please _put me down.' I asked sweetly.

'Sure, why didn't you say so?' He just earned a glare of me.

'Aww, Bella, why ruin the fun?' Emmett asked in a sulky voice in that of a child.

I just laughed and shook my head at him.

'So, decided to talk again then?' Rosalie's cool voice cut the silence. My good mood was gone and guilt in it's place.

'Guys, I am so sorry about that.' I pleaded, 'I really am.'

'Yeah, whatever.' She sneered, 'Spare us the rubbish.'

'Rose...' Emmett started; Rosalie's anger totally blew its top at that.

'No! No way!' She screeched, 'There is NO way she is coming back with us! She leaves you and my family to mope around, then just expects to flaunt back in just like that!' She turned to me, her eyes black with fury, 'Well, _I'm sorry! _But it just doesn't work like that!' She hissed in my face, and withdrew, slapping away Emmett's cautious hand.

I felt all happiness subside with nothing but fear and guilt instead. My face must have been pained, for Edward placed a protective arm around my shoulder and growled at Rosalie.

'She isn't the one in the wrong here. We are.'

'_Us?_ There is no _us, _Edward. There is you and your stupid addiction to this girl. That's what there is! I was just doing what I had to.'

With that she turned and flounced out of the car park, Emmett trailing by her side like a hopeless puppy dog. He had flashed me an apologetic glance before following her. The silence was deafening.

'Perhaps I shouldn't come round your house tonight.' I whispered, still shocked at Rosalie's performance.

'No way!' Alice cut in, 'She was out of order right then! Way out of order!'

'Guys, I totally see her point. Its not right for me.'

'You are coming and that is that.' She made it final by just the tone of her voice.

'If your sure...' I trailed off, not really sure whether I felt like seeing Rosalie again. But I needed to apologise.

She caught my hand and tugged me towards the car, pushing me into the passenger seat. 'I'll sit in the back, you know.' I offered.

'No, you won't.' She placed herself in the back seat with Jasper. And acting like the previous drama was forgotten, she placed her chin next to my head rest and launched the bomb. 'So, what _were_ you two doing when you were 'just chatting' on that road a few weeks ago?' God, she knew how to pick her questions.

'I think you know perfectly well what we were doing Alice.' Edward muttered, his eyes fixed on the road. I just stared out the window and focused on the rhythm of the car.

'Aww, Edward you spoilt the fun. You know Bella, your the best thing that ever happened to Edward. He hasn't looked so happy before.' She smiled so sweetly in the corner of my eye, I just had to turn my full attention to her.

'Alice, you come out with some weird stuff.' How embarrassing? Jasper just chuckled at me. I couldn't trust myself around these two!

'Was he good?'

'ALICE!' I yelled.

'Sorry, sorry,' she grumbled, 'He must have been though the rate you two are going – three times now, huh?'

I just put my head in my hands and let my hair fall over my shoulders. The little pixie wasn't going to give up.

'Promise me you won't tell Emmett?' Edward was pleading for us now. There was no way he could find out. No way.

'I'll consider. But you have to answer some of my questions. You too Bella.' She added when I groaned. I looked up and nodded my head impatiently.

'When was the first time?'

'Meadow.' I answered simply.

'Wow he took you there? You have to be pretty special to get taken _there_.'

'Shut up.' Me and Edward chorused.

Alice, still seeming unnerved, continued, 'So, how far did you get? Past second base?'

'Alice, I am not answering your stupid questions any more!' Edward had soon pulled up, and I slammed the door shut. Once again, the beauty of the white house was breath taking.

I walked with my new friends up the steps and to the door.

**SORRY, SORRY, SORRY!**

**Okay, I know it's short! But, it was a quick update. I just wanted to give all you guys something! Let's hope it snows tomorrow! Let us chant the snow anthem! I am pretty proud of it, lol! My friends seem to like it anyway...**

**Thanks for reading and please review! Let me know your thoughts :)**


	11. Lonely

**Yay! It snowed and I FINALLY got a day off school – here is the chapter 11. Wow, I never thought I had it in me to write this much... I guess I'm into this story :) Ho, pigs bum I have to go to school tomorrow, lets make it a good one (ah the joy oh biology tests never cease to rivet me. Yeah.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognise as Stephenie Meyer's.**

**L O N E L Y**

I flew up the steps after Edward, but every minuscule moment that passed whilst doing so was overwrought. Where was Rosalie? Was she inside, waiting to unleash her anger out on me? No, no she wouldn't do that, no matter how much she hated me for what I had done. I thought back to her first reaction of me... irritation and humour. I didn't understand it. Irritation... she had to do the task of analysing me? Humour for my stupidity? It must be so. Her abhorrence of me was undeniably stressful. I felt loyalty to the fact that it was only me that had to undo the knots of tension between us somehow. No one else – me. Over time.

As the oak door swung open, not a creak or a groan in its hinges, I noted how there was no lock on the door. Obtuse in it's irrelevance, my eyes caught everything unnatural. Seemingly, there was no need for such a device. I almost rolled my eyes at myself again. They were vampires, of coarse. In truth, I was only trying to distract myself from the situation I had swamped myself in.

This time, I paid attention the room as I entered it. It was painted white, but no longer a blank canvas. One entire wall of the unbelievably and utterly capacious room was covered in glass. Through the thin sheet I noted how the gushing river was so full of life, it's carefree currents twisting and twirling in some religious dance. I yearned to join in, to let the burden of my being be set free to ride with those waters. Before Forks was a restless existence, hating myself and hating my creator. He had damned me to this life of eternity through sheer spite. Yet then, I asked for this. I wanted something out of life and I received the opposite. It was death. Not literally in the way that middle aged couples feared. A death where your soul was delivered to heaven. No. This death was immortality. And it was thrust in my face when I wanted it the most. Then the water almost turned black with reality. I hated this because I was lonely. I had no one to share it with.

In a raised stand to the entrance was a beautiful grand piano. It was the same sheen white as the rest of the furniture in this room. I remembered, through the foggy mist that layered my human times, Renee had attempted teaching me piano. I soon gave up. My coordination back then was simply astonishing – the worst. I smiled wryly.

'Do you play?' Edward's voice was more than enough to cajole me out of thought. I bet he could tempt me into anything.

'No...' I trailed off, my thoughts leading back to human moments again, 'Renee – my mother – tried to teach me when I was young. It was another one of her phases,' I smiled at her eccentric nature, I had often looked after her before Phil came along, 'But I begged her to let me stop, my coordination was... not to the average standard.'

Edward was looking at me curiously, 'You speak of you mother like...' He left the sentence unfinished, to wander unnecessarily. He couldn't find the right words.

'She is my child? I am the parent?' I added suggestively; he nodded, 'She is very hare brained, wild and caring. I love her more than I let on, but when Phil wasn't around she would need guidance.' I grinned, 'But she has someone now, to look after her. It made it easier to leave...' The grin faded from my face and I was aware of the thick melancholy in my voice. For the best. It was for the best. I saw Carlisle and Esme were in the room as well. They were gazing at me with pitiful expressions – they were so kind. I wished I could tell my parents, make them understand. I wouldn't do it though. I wouldn't bide them to this secret of mine.

I turned towards Edwards parents. 'I am so sincerely sorry of my disrespectful behaviour, I shouldn't have acted like that. If it's not too much too ask, please forgive me.' Silence.

Then Esme's arms were arms were around me in a split millisecond. I wasn't expecting that!

'Bella, dear! You have absolutely no reason to be sorry!' Her tone was so kind and genuine, to put it bluntly, she was just so, _nice_. It was hard to believe that there was someone so much like this – a perfect mother. Edward was so lucky. He could share his existence with his mother, and she didn't care about what he was. I knew that my parents would see past it, I didn't doubt it in them, but to be able to live so happily with them was one luxury I could not afford to have. I would never change them, of coarse – it hadn't even crossed my mind.

I frowned lightly, they had accepted my apology but told me not to be sorry? 'Esme,' I started, hugging her back, but she cut me off with her words, releasing me a little to look into my eyes.

'Bella, we acted wrong. Let us put it behind us. It was just a silly mistake,' She smiled again and I couldn't help but like her. This kindness was not in those of fake hospital nurses that I had come across so many times in my life. A poorly, sick, patient cared for by one person. They acted kind because they _had _to – that was their role. But Esme was the real thing. No sickly smiles, no light patting on the back, no cautious words. She was real, and it rolled off her in waves. She was such a lovely person.

I was sentient that Carlisle was behind her shoulder, smiling warmly at me. The hospital's patients were lucky to have such a kindly person working there. I was sure they knew it too, the way everyone spoke of him. Respect and warmth. We shared a shorter embrace when I tried one more time to excuse my rude behaviour that I expertly portrayed by fleeing from their house in the middle of the night.

'I -' But Edward caught my hand and tugged on it, whilst I saw his family exchange glances, smiling. I felt like blushing again, this wasn't what they had assumed it was!

'I'll teach you piano.' Ah, those eyes, just smouldering into mine. His enticement was too much that every second he used it on me, control slipped and so did my surroundings. Then I heard Alice whisper to Jasper.

'You know, if he asked her to jump of a cliff, she would do it right away.' I looked at her, bewildered.

'And vice versa.' Jasper added, almost knowingly. Then they both looked up to see me now glaring at them, my hand suspended in Edward's. Then the after shock of the electric buzz made me blink a few times before turning back to Edward. I also tuned out Alice's mutterings on my outfit, of coarse.

'I want to watch you play first.' May as well get a taste of the talented before I made a blatant fool of myself. He just nodded and sat down on the piano stool ushering me to sit next to him. Fantasy blushing, I sat next to him, all too aware of the proximity between us. I shuffled in the seat so I was comfortable, when he moved his hands to the keys our shoulders were touching. I froze and felt my ghost of a heart beat frenetically, the electric current flowing and flowing. My eyes were widened a little, so I fixed them on his slender hands, whilst my body remained frozen, no matter how much I willed it to relax.

As soon as he started to play, my senses were entirely diverted and focused on the tune. It was magical. When the soft beginning ceased, the melody began to sing into me. It brought back everything.

First came my greatest desire. Edward. To be with Edward and hold him, for him to hold me, to know that there was no one else in the world that mattered as much as each other. My greatest need to proclaim my pure love for him. It dawned on me – for the rest of eternity I would love this person that sat next to me, playing this enchanting composition. I didn't recognise it – it must be something of his own.

Then came the pain. My body locked up and I sucked in breath as the tune went downhill – depressed and bottomless. Like a black hole, I was sucked into its depression, the world whirled around me as I saw all my memories fly around me. I shut my eyes, but they continued to taunt me, force me to watch my hopeless life in Phoenix.

The first was a few days before my change – the Friday. My last day of being human in school. Even then I had sensed it – change. It was coming fast. I had been about to collect my English essay after school where I overheard my two friends discussing something.

_'Yeah, so she went out with him on Wednesday .... oh my gosh!'_

_'Like, really? ....... I never knew it was like her!'_

_'Wow ... anyway I got asked out ... what should I wear?'_

_'I totally recommend ..... here I'll let you borrow ..... I'm so happy for you!'_

I only heard snatches of their conversation, but the realisation was not something I had experienced before. It was too strong, too wild. It became imminent now that I was different. I remember clutching the door handle, frozen, I was too different. I had spent too long trying to seek the unusual that I had totally detached myself from this typical teenage world. I was not like the other girls. Not one to gossip, to read the hot magazines, to listen to hit music, to dress up, get excited over a boy. I didn't even have a life. I chased the unreal to get nowhere. A never ending tunnel where I would run and run and run and only see the blackness. So empty and so cold. So lonely.

Then the memory of that fateful day. My decision to perhaps visit the bookshop because I had nothing better to do. Flicking through the titles, rummaging for something that would catch my eye was something I became bored of. Then deciding to take that trip to the mystical book shop that Renee took me to once. Down the road. The houses got danker. The people dirtier. Then no people at all. The sickly sweet aroma coming from the indifferent alley. It drew me in. The all too cold hand around my waist pulling me in with no effort at all. My breathing was hitched and gradually get faster the deeper the thoughts got. This was the reality I had eluded.

I mentally screamed for the memories to stop. Perhaps out loud. I didn't know; I didn't care. I had tried for so long to push these thoughts away and succeeded. I focused on the present. Not this day, this moment I was reliving. His red eyes. I screamed for myself. To protect myself from the danger. The scarlet, hungry eyes that obscured my thoughts. I screamed for myself, telling me to stop. Begging _him _to stop. To spare my life. I screamed for myself not to accept this death. I screamed to tell me to run knowing it was too late. I screamed for myself to kick and struggle knowing it was not going to do a thing. I screamed at myself to scream knowing no one would help. I screamed when my collar bone was destroyed with a sickening crack. I screamed for myself to react. I screamed as I watched him lower his head to my neck. I screamed as I heard his leering voice. I screamed when he bit. I screamed for one last time, knowing it was too late, I ran to my figure on the floor and screamed and sobbed over it knowing my life was taken.

My eyes snapped open.

My chest was heaving and I felt I should be drenched in sweat. _This _was why I couldn't remember. The box I had so carefully locked had erupted and advanced with a surprise attack. I was curled in a tight ball at the foot of the piano, my hair sprawled around me like it would in water. A figure was knelt over me, his face contorted with panic.

'Bella!'

'Edward!' I barely uttered the words as the sound of his voice soothed my hysteria. My breathing was still to fast and my lips were quivering. My shoulders were shaking too. In fact, my whole body was trembling in the compact shape I forced myself into.

He pulled me to his chest and held me there. I sobbed into his shoulder and he rocked us back and forth. I clutched to his shirt like a small child would. He held me tightly and I felt safe. I pressed myself closer and begged him not to go.

'I'm not going anywhere.' He whispered it into my hair and I instantaneously believed him. It was as though I was having just woken up from a frightening nightmare. Except, once again, this was no nightmare. This was reality, once again, coming back to haunt me. It would creep up and then launch. But I had Edward this time. Edward was here to help me. He said he wouldn't go and I put all remaining trust in that.

Still in a tight embrace, he picked me up and we were on one of the white couches that were gathered around a flat screen television. After a few minutes of sobbing they finally melted away to nothingness. Yet what it failed to do was recruit the fear and take it away. Instead it stuck by my side like unforgiving guilt unable to shake off. I knew, at the back of my mind, that the only way to truly be ridden of this curse that bound me to the memories would be to face it. But I couldn't. Not the way I remembered it to be. I had experienced the memory twice – the second worse than the first. Would it only get worse?

I lifted my head from his shoulder and gazed into his eyes. They were pained.

'The tune. It... reminded me.' I said in no more than a mere whisper.

'I'll never play it again.' He sounded set in this decision.

'No, I can face it now. I was just weak before and I fell into the trap.' I concluded. 'It was very beautiful. You are an amazing player, musician.'

'Trap?' He brushed off the compliment almost impatiently, he still cradled me to his chest. No one could hurt me here – not in his arms. It was almost stupid how human I felt, how vulnerable.

'Remembering... something.' I was still whispering, the aftermath of my seizure still bubbling away beneath the surface. I was still in shock. 'Exactly what happened?'

His face was pained again. 'When I started to play you were relaxed and peaceful... then as soon as the beginning was over, you locked up. You were whispering something... like a conversation. Like something you'd heard. Sounded like two people gossiping. Then you kept muttering 'different' and I couldn't really understand that. Jasper was getting all these depressing vibes. From you. Then you slumped off the chair and lay on the floor. Of coarse I stopped playing by then. You were saying stuff like 'where am I?' and describing the street or something. The you said something like, 'that sweet smell'. Then you gasped...' His face was pained again.

'Tell me what happened next.' I prompted. I already knew.

'You started screaming. You screamed and screamed.' This was barely a murmur now, 'You screamed stop, fight, run, then you started begging someone to _stop_. Then you started sobbing and screaming... before you snapped out of it. It was like you were having a fit or something, no matter what we did, you kept at it.'

'I'm sorry...' Was all I could choke out. I _had_ been screaming aloud.

'Bella! There is no need for you to feel sorry.' He growled clutching me even tighter, 'Whatever it is that your afraid of, I'm here, I'll keep you safe. _I promise._' The words were so sincere that I put my hand and let it rest on his face.

'Thank you.' I couldn't have been more earnest. I kept telling myself that I was a vampire now, I needed to fend for myself, yet I couldn't shake off the exposure I felt after the memories had coaxed me into the double experience.

He pulled me into another hug, then I hastily pulled off him to sit next to him on the couch. I found that we were not alone. It was amazing how much I missed when I was with Edward, there was Carlisle and Esme, now Alice and Jasper appeared from outside. Their expressions were of worry. I realised that my emotions had been too strong for Jasper to handle. I smiled ruefully at him.

'Bella?' Alice came to sit on the other side of me, 'What was it that you were remembering?'

I guess they ought to know. I couldn't just say 'nothing' when it obviously wasn't. 'My change.' My tone was austere as I imagined it would be as I talked of the subject. 'You want to know everything?'

'Everything.' She clarified.

I took a deep breath as I recounted it. I twitched as the memories were disturbed, like poking a stick into a pool of clear water. This was no where near as bad as I thought it would be. It was _good _to tell it to someone else instead of coercing them to stay inside myself. I realised, that the difference was that I was not reliving it through words. Just telling.

When I finished I looked at their faces. All were horrified.

'You didn't know who changed you?' Edward hissed. I shook my head miserably, before I felt another air of arms around me. Not Esme, Alice or Carlisle. Definitely not Edward. This fragrance was different... Rosalie. _Rosalie? _What on earth was Rosalie doing hugging me in a way that made me feel comforted?

'You poor, _poor _thing!' She crooned in my ear – wow, I mean I never knew she had it in her to sound like that. Then she hissed, 'I can't believe he left you there to go through the change on your own! You weren't even injured! Happy, healthy, and he took your l_ife_ from you!'

She liberated me from the tight embrace, and looked into my eyes, 'I know I was unfair to you, and I really am sorry. I thought I had it bad when I changed, you must understand I would give up _anything _to become human. To have your life taken from you in such a brutal way is sickening! Leaving you there all alone!' She growled the end part.

I opened my mouth to say something before Carlisle's soothing voice interrupted. 'What were the exact words he said before he changed you?'

I closed my eyes and put two fingers to my temples. Concentrating. ' _Don't worry. It's only three days. I come find you in a year or so, when you've calmed down. You'll be like me. A vampire._ That's all he said.'

Gasps were emitted around the room. 'What?'

'I'll find you in a year?' Carlisle elucidated.

'Yes, that's -' I was cut off by my own notification. 'A year? He's going to get me in a year?' My lip started to quiver. I couldn't recall much of him, but what I did was still crystal clear, the clarity all too uncomfortable. Red eyes. Leering voice. A year...

'It's been four months.' He carried on, 'When he finds out your not in Phoenix... whenever that could be. He could be looking for you now. Or maybe not. We don't know when he will come, but no doubt he will. He may even have a coven.'

His words injected a whole new danger into my hectic brain. Carlisle was right – he would find me. It was almost a promise the way it was said.

I had someone else out to get me.

**Was it interesting? Anyway the snow was lesser than on Monday or Tuesday so I don't really understand where this school closure has come from. Ah well, I'm not complaining! Tell me your thoughts, I seem to have gone back to lots of description in this chapter... thanks for reading as well!**

**Anyway, I'm interested to know what you made of it! Please review!**


	12. Sing My Heart Out For You

**SORRY I DIDN'T UPDATE – my mom banned me from the computer when I started typing ! I tried to explain that I was doing something educational, but NO she just tutted and rambled off. Pfft. So I was stuck in a whole lot of chaos, where my dad set fire to himself, my 1 year old sister had escfreezing cold puddles for two whole days. The experience was no enjoyable. I could only reply to your emails because I was supposed to be doing my geography project. Meh HEH! This chapter is quite FUN but I swear the story is quite serious, I just wanted to write something like this.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Stephenie Meyer's (as much as I love my loons and furry friends, I would be out of this house for sure if I was that rich...) I also don't own any of the songs in this chapter.**

**S I N G M Y H E A R T O U T F O R Y O U**

I had someone else out to get me.

Before I could contemplate on what was coming next, Alice had pulled me up from the couch. 'Makeover time!' She squealed, obviously excited to have someone different to work with. Not that her or Rosalie needed a makeover in the slightest, I was dreading what she was going to do to me.

'Alice...' I whined – I might as well give it a shot, 'Anything but a makeover!'

'Anything?' I saw the astute look on her face, I found myself nodding weakly, 'Well, we can go shopping all day tomorrow and you have to try on everything I tell you to, without complaining and let us buy it all for you.'

I couldn't believe this! 'Alice, please, I'll go with the makeover, please!' Great, I was begging now. Alice was such a puppet master, she could pull the strings whenever she wanted and always got her own way.

'You said anything, Bella.' Stubborn as I was, I could see this was coming to an abrupt end.

'At least let me pay?' I added feebly, knowing what the answer was already.

'Nope.' Stupid pixie, I cursed in my mind.'Oh, and Bella?'

'What now Alice, haven't you pretty much sent me to my death already?' I huffed, slightly irritated by Emmett's guffawing. Even Edward had a slight smirk on his face. Oh, they did not know how much I detested shopping. On the other hand, I was obliged to Alice for her sudden but contagious mood.

'I will be offended if you don't actually wear the clothes.' She said it shortly and sweetly before sweeping back over to Jasper with a radiant smile.

Oh God. Save me. What have I done to deserve this treatment?

And to make matters worse, Emmett was flashing glances between me and Edward before his gaze settled on myself. Oh, what now? He had a scheming look in his eye, also something of anticipation; I wondered what miraculous plan was forming in his head _now_.

'Bella!' He exclaimed and grinned as though her was meeting me.

'Yes, Emmett what do you want?' My voice was more monotone that I meant it to be. I saw Rosalie stifle a giggle, and Edward tense beside me – what ever he had found out I am sure I would be very shortly...

'Three times, huh?' He almost contemplated the words in his bid to be casual.

_Oh crap. Crap, crap, crap!_

I looked up and met his eyes with what I hoped was a cool gaze, and tried to sound indifferent. 'Really, I don't know what your talking about, Emmett.'

'Really?' There was the mock surprise. He paid more attention than I thought he would. 'I was under the impression that you did, you see - '

'EDWARD!' I yelled, a bit too loudly. He jumped and looked up at me, 'Teach me piano. _Now._' I stalked over to the piano but Emmett was still nattering on.

'... I knew Eddie had the hots for her ...'

_Shut up, shut up SHUT UP!_

Edward growled and sat himself rather forcefully next to me. Instead of showing me anything, he continued to play a melody which I felt was quite fierce – reflecting his mood.

'... I wonder when they first hit it off ...'

Emmett was still nattering; whilst I tried to suppress my anger Edward let out a low growl.

'... I mean, 107 year old virgin, it's about time!'

Edward shot up causing the stool to jerk backwards a little, just as he was whirling around to face Emmett, I blurted out something really, _really _stupid.

'KARAOKE!'

Alice set of applauding me, whilst everyone else was looking in disbelief.

'I'll get the camera!!' Alice was squealing. She was back in seconds, 'Right, now, we can do singles and doubles. Me and Jazz, Em and Rose, Carlisle and Esme and Bella and Edward!' She got way to excited about things – I needed to find the switch to this constant energy flow and turn it _off_. And pull the plug out whilst I was there.

'Um, Alice, I don't think me and Esme will be taking part today – we'll film.' Aw, I envied them so much right now. I couldn't slip out of this because I was the one who suggested it. I was in a pit of self regret at the moment, I swear. The grimace on my face must have profound enough to make Edward smile apologetically.

'You don't know, it might be fun...' Trailing off, yeah in my dreams.

'Can we do a duet?' I divulged the comment before I could reach, snatch it and stuff it back inside my mouth. It seemed to have a mind of its own today. Speaking of lips, Edward looked as handsome as ever...

'Sure.' _Earth to Bella! _Damn, I was screwing up today! I just let a goofy grin tramp all over my lips. He smiled back, so perhaps I wasn't that bad. Maybe.

I turned to see all the furniture pushed to the walls so a massive space was created in the centre. Ahh, I was really regretting this now. Not only wallowing in regret, but in doubt.

Alice pranced to the floor, Jasper in tow. Carlisle hit the 'play button'.

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air... Alice's voice started off the song, she held her microphone sweetly – it complemented her cute voice perfectly.

_  
If I  
Should die  
Before  
I wake,  
Its cause  
You took  
My breath  
Away.  
Losing you is like living in a world with no air _

Alice sang the words whilst looking into Jasper's eyes, Emmett was eyeing them. Now it was Jasper's turn.__

I'm here,  
Alone,  
Didn't want  
_To leave.  
__My heart won't move,  
It's incomplete.  
Wish there  
Was a way  
That I can make you to understand,  
_

His voice was nice and in tune, but nothing amazing.

_  
But How,  
Do you expect me,  
To live alone with just me?  
'Cause my world revolves around you,  
Its so hard for me to breathe.  
_

For the next part, they were just singing to each other, completely zoned out from the rest of the world.

_  
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air.  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air.  
That's how I feel when I know you ain't there.  
There's No Air ,No Air.  
Got me out here in the water so deep.  
Tell me how you gon' be without me.  
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe.  
Its No Air No Air.  
No air air  
No air air  
No air air  
No air air_

I Walked,  
I Ran,  
I Jumped,  
I Flew,  
Right off the ground,  
To float to you.  
There's no gravity,  
To hold me down,  
For real.

Emmett was sniggering now, probably thinking up some insults to Jasper. They carried throughout the rest of the song this way, it was really sweet. They kept singing, but never looked away from each other.__

Tell Me How I'm supposed to breathe with no air.  
Can't live can't breathe with no air.  
That's how I feel when I know you ain't there.  
It's No Air No Air.

Got me out here in the water so deep.

Tell me how you gon' be without me.

If you ain't here, I just can't breathe.

There's No Air No Air  
No air air .

After finishing the last note perfectly, they squeezed each others hands and grinned back at us. They had each other and there was never, ever going to be anyone else. _This _is what _I _wanted. Someone to share _my _eternity with. Someone perfect, someone that I loved. Someone named Edward that was sitting right next to me now.

Alice jumped up and down, regaining all excitement as she ushered Rosalie and Emmett to go next. Oh, phew! I forgot I had to have a turn too. Esme pressed play again whilst Carlisle was grinning behind the camera.__

Emmett had put his hood up and was clutching the way in which I think he hoped was 'gangster'...

_Baby if you give it to me  
I'll give it to you  
I know what you want  
You know I got it  
Baby if you give it to me  
I'll give it to you  
I know what you want  
You know I got it_

Rosalie on the other hand, was walking around Emmett whilst singing the words. He lost his 'gangster frown' and was grinning at Rosalie.

_Baby if you give it to me  
I'll give it to you  
I know what you want  
You know I got it  
Baby if you give it to me  
I'll give it to you  
I know what you want  
You know I got it  
_

Now came the rap part... Emmett clapped his hands whilst the rest of us sniggered. He was waving his arms about in the air like 'gangsters' do. I had a feeling the lyrics of this song reflected the intensely physical relationship they shared – don't even go there...

_  
We been together for a few years  
Shared a few tears  
Called each other nicknames  
Like Sugar Plum and Poo Bear  
I'm always on the road  
I'm hardly ever home  
Always busy this busy that  
Can't talk on the phone  
I know you aggrevated  
Walk around frustrated  
Ya patience gettin' short  
How long can you tolerate it  
Listen ma I'm just motivated  
I do this for us  
Step on the grind tryin' to elevate it now_

Then this is where he lost it – the words were flowing quite quickly and it was obvious he didn't know this part.

_  
Hey yo to really be honest  
You stuck with me through my whole struggle  
Can't express the words  
How much the kid loves ya  
I'ma stand as a man never above ya  
I can tell that you different from most-_

He gave up looking at the words of the screen and sat on the floor cross legged, glaring at the rest of us because we were laughing. He looked like a little kid who got caught doing something naughty.

_  
Slightly approach you  
And that ill shit about it  
We gon' sex every day  
But when we sex we tease  
In a passionate way  
I love the way you touch it  
Those little elaborate ways  
Got the guard feelin' released  
To relax for the day  
It's on you ma_

The music continued without words, where I could see Jasper falling about because of all our humourus feelings. Emmett was glaring at him with a scowl from underneath his hood – this just made it even funnier. Rosalie came to the rescue and carried singing with her part.

_  
I will climb a mountain high  
Until I was up to touch the sky  
So baby come and get more close to me  
This is where your love is supposed to be_

The music went silent again, when Rosalie smacked Emmett round the back of the head whilst glaring at him. He jerked into action, back into 'gangster' mode whilst Rosalie did the ad-libs.

_  
Flipmode Records, J Records  
Def Jam Records  
Busta Rhymes...Mariah  
Flipmode Squad, yeah  
So beautiful  
Ah-ha I knew you was gon' give me that high note  
Mariah  
Ah-ha-ha yeah_

They ended with a deep kiss, in which I had to look away. Although their performance was very funny, I still realised that they had each other too. I wanted – no scratch that, _needed _Edward. He was on my mind all the time. And I had fallen for him badly. This meant that I wanted no body else and never would. What a mess I was in!

Oh great, it was my turn now. Alice had already chosen the song. I hoped it wasn't too bad. And I hoped I could actually sing. Because I had never tried properly when human, nor when vampire. I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, whilst Carlisle prepared the camera. Edward flashed me an encouraging smile, and I felt butterflies, not in my stomach, but everywhere! The nerves where getting to me...

The music came on, and I recognised it whilst breathing out a sigh of relief. I didn't need the lyrics for this one.

Me and Edward started off with the 'Yeah..Oh' Then Emmett wolf whistled at us! I glared at him whilst clutching my mike, I decided to make as much of this as I could. I looked Edward deep into the eyes as I sang my verse. The sound of my voice took me by surprise; it was… quite simply amazing! Wow, I was actually good at something for a change. Back when I was human in Phoenix I was just average Bella.

_As much as I love you  
As much as I need you  
And I can't stand you  
Must everything you do make me wanna smile  
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)_

He added the word on the end and I grinned. I would just focus on Edward to take away the embarrassment. Not that I could look away even if I wanted to – he had me locked in his gaze. Then he started to sing.

_But you won't let me  
You upset me girl  
And then you kiss my lips  
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)  
Can't remember what you did_

His voice was soft, yet included that all too desirable masculinity. Was it possible to fall even harder once you had already hit the bottom? Because I mustn't have hit the bottom of this endless pit if that was correct. I began to sing again, admiring the sound of my voice.

_But I hate it...  
You know exactly what to do  
So that I can't stay mad at you  
For too long that's wrong_

Edward sang again, I felt if I spoke right then I would be gushing all over him. Not once did he look away and I wasn't obliged to in the slightest. He was smiling at me and I all too willingly grinned back.

_But I hate it...  
You know exactly how to touch  
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more  
Said I despise that I adore you  
_  
I sang my part as Edward added the backing. Just listening to his voice tempted me towards him. I leaned in further, aware that we were already doing so, and brought my mike with me.

_And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)  
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)  
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)  
But I just can't let you go  
And I hate that I love you so (oooh..)_

We were barely inches away now, closer and closer. Edward said the next lines more softly this time.

_You completely know the power that you have  
The only one makes me laugh_

I closed my eyes as I sang smiling.

_  
Said it's not fair  
How you take advantage of the fact  
That I... love you beyond the reason why  
And it just ain't right_

I said the words like I meant them – because I did. It wasn't fair that I had to fall for someone amazing, who for which crazy reason may like me too, because I knew I could and would never compare. He was too… perfect. He also said the words with emotion that I could not miss. Perhaps, I had a chance?

_And I hate how much I love you girl  
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)  
And I hate how much I love you girl  
But I just can't let you go  
But I hate that I love you so_

The next we sang in harmony and I loved the way our voices wrapped around each other to fit, synchronized and flawless. I emphasized the word 'maybe' mentally; I knew that Edward would always charm me to an extent no other could reach.

_One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me  
And your kiss won't make me weak  
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me  
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...  
_  
_Yeaahhh... Oohh..._

He sang the backing as I put as much emotion into the words as was possible. I wanted him to know, because even if I was rejected it would be by him. It was much better to get rejected by the one you loved. I would and maybe already have given him my heart and he is the only one to break it because I don't want anyone else to break it. Only Edward.

_As much I love you (as much as I need you)  
As much as I need you (oooh..)  
As much I love you (oh..)  
As much as I need you_

And I hate that I love you so  
And I hate how much I love you boy  
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)  
And I hate how much I love you boy  
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)  
And I hate that I love you so  
  
We sang together the last note, now one inch away. I let my mike swing back into place so my hands were empty.

_And I hate that I love you so.. so..._

I did hate that I loved him, but I loved it at the same time. I fell for someone worthy of a lot more, but I would give him my all. I hated my love because I knew there was only 0.01% chance of him returning it. Whether he knew it or not, he had my heart now and that was where it would stay. There was no one else.

I was about to turn to our audience after being wrapped up in our little world; his eyes burning into mine. If he continued to do that I swear I would melt one day. Before I could turn, a pair of small but forceful hands pushed me forward.

My lips collided with Edward's for the third time today. He caught me of coarse, but I was so bewildered about what just happened, I just couldn't stop. Stop, stop, stop Bella!! I thought frantically. But I couldn't – my lips were glued in place.

Another push on my back after a second caused me to push Edward into the couch with my newborn strength. Except I sort of went down with him. On top of him. Lying on the couch. A few seconds more, I begged myself. No, no I couldn't have that.

I could – I was having it right now.

But before my internal battle could come to an end, Edward pulled away and whispered so quietly that I had to strain to catch it in my ear, 'I know you're head over heels for me but not in front of everyone.' He was smirking, which was quite out of character for him. I guess Jasper was to blame, _again_.

I could swear I felt my face go beet red, but then there was no change on my face. I hopped off him, patting my hair as if I had done the most normal thing in the world. They were all looking at me a bemused sort of way. Trust Alice to make me do such a thing!

'Can I sing next?' I needed to distract myself – I had just kissed Edward in front of them and Edward made a joke about me! _How embarrassing!_

'Yeah, sure!' Rosalie was quite into this, 'You have an amazing voice Bella.' I shook my head but everyone else chorused in. Oh, great I was always the center of attention after awkward moments and how I hated it!

I picked a song by Paramore – I was in the mood. I tapped my foot to the beat and almost pushed myself into the music. I picked this song for a reason so I let the emotion drip on the words.

_I got a lot to say to you  
Yeah, I got a lot to say  
I noticed your eyes are always glued to me  
Keeping them here  
And it makes no sense at all_

They taped over your mouth  
Scribbled out the truth with their lies  
You little spies

They taped over your mouth  
Scribbled out the truth with their lies  
You little spies  


I looked at Edward and saw him looking back at me. I tried to pulled my eyes away but refused. Hmm, Edward style eye candy.

_  
Crush, crush, crush  
Crush, crush  
(Two, three, four)_

Nothing compares to  
A quiet evening alone  
Just the one, two  
I was just counting on

That never happens  
I guess I'm dreaming again  
Let's be more than this  


For the next line I winked at him for the way he acted after that kiss. I forced my voice louder where I noticed I was doing that dancing with the microphone thing celebrities often do.

_  
If you want to play it like a game  
Well, come on, come on, let's play  
'Cause I'd rather waste my life pretending  
Than have to forget you for one whole minute_

They taped over your mouth  
Scribbled out the truth with their lies  
You little spies

They taped over your mouth  
Scribbled out the truth with their lies  
You little spies

Crush, crush, crush  
Crush, crush  
(Two, three, four)

Nothing compares to  
A quiet evening alone  
Just the one, two  
I was just counting on

That never happens  
I guess I'm dreaming again  
Let's be more than this now

Rock and roll, baby  
Don't you know  
That we're all alone now?  
I need something to sing about  


I was shaking my hair around a little now, getting lost in the song.

_  
Rock and roll, hey  
Don't you know, baby  
We're all alone now?  
I need something to sing about_

Rock and roll, hey  
Don't you know, baby  
We're all alone now?  
Give me something to sing about

Nothing compares to  
A quiet evening alone  
Just the one, two  
I was just counting on  


I wanted to tell Edward how I felt.

_  
That never happens  
I guess I'm dreaming again  
Let's be more than  
No, oh  
_

I needed to. Even if he didn't return my feelings.

_  
Nothing compares to  
A quiet evening alone  
Just the one, two  
I was just counting on  
_

I would do it.

_  
That never happens  
I guess I'm dreaming again  
Let's be more than  
More than this_

I brushed the hair out of my face and grinned gauchely. It was awkward after _that _performance but I still enjoyed it.

Alice did 'Money Honey' by Lady GaGa, which suited her shopping addiction perfectly. Rosalie and Emmett did a few. Emmett made Jasper do a performance of 'Barbie Girl' by 'Aqua' – it was hilarious! The whole time I was with Edward and then it was his turn.

'This one's for you.' he whispered in my ear as Jasper's song was coming to an end. For me?

He looked straight at me and I felt like blushing as his family exchanged glances.

_Do not get me wrong I cannot wait for you to come home  
For now you're not here and I'm not there, it's like we're on our own  
To figure it out, consider how to find a place to stand  
Instead of walking away and instead of nowhere to land_

This is gonna to break me clean in two  
This is gonna to bring me close to you

She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed

He was layering the emotion in his words. He felt this way about me?

_She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted_

_She is everything I need that I never knew I needed_

He said it was for me but...

_It's all up in the air and we stand still to see what comes down  
I don't know where it is, I don't know when, but I want you around  
When it falls into place with you and I, we go from if to when  
Your side and mine are both behind it's indication_

This is gonna bring me clarity  
This'll take the heart right out of me

Edward can't love me!__

She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed  


He can?

_  
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed_

He surely can't.

_  
This is gonna bring me to my knees  
I just wanna hold you close to me_

He is too good.__

She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed  


Far too good.

_She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed  
_

I'm not good enough.

_  
She is everything I needed  
She is everything_

...really?

**OKAY my computer went dead today and it had this file on it! And me, being the only nearest thing to being able to work with computers had to fix it. Pfft! Sorry it's so late but it is rather long... or is that the lyrics? Oh, I don't know. **

**Thanks for reading and please review! :)**


	13. Rivals

**Everybody! My sincerest apologies for no updates! I have been drug revising, German song singing, writing about corpses and being interviewed by a teacher that wears socks with sandals... (its for my options choices :L). So in other words, I have been very, tres, sehr busy! I have been itching ALL week to write!!! I forgot to say thanks in my last chapter so here is a double thanks to all reviewers, subscribers and those who have added to favourites: THANK YOU ALL, I LOVE YOU ALL FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY VERY RANDOM SELF... :) No, I am NOT a tree hugger! Ooh, a note: Tanya is different guess in my story, more willing to play for Edward and everything... so she won't like Bella and everything ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that belongs to SM, nor do I own 'Tangled Up In Me' by Skye Sweetnam.**

**R I V A L S**

I lay on my bed watching the green digits of my alarm clock plough away.

I had heard Charlie come and go whilst I lay motionless on this bed after a painful day away from Edward. I swear I was becoming hooked on his presence, and I felt childish when I felt that I didn't want to say goodbye to him.

After the... eventful karaoke, I had already made up my mind. I would tell Edward my feelings, and just get it out of my system – I just wanted him to know. I made a mental note to myself never to let Alice take me shopping ever, _ever _again! The amount of bags I received was ridiculous! And Alice paid for it all, not even letting me pay a quarter (not that I could afford it, I suspected), telling me quite clearly what would happen if I tried to pay so much as a penny. Geez, that girl was so controlling!

So now I have ended up with about two wardrobes worth of clothes. All designer, all with mind blowing prices. Not to mention the amount of shoes she bought me – I lost count! So after I had gotten all my necessary routine over with, there was nothing left but too change into... _those _clothes.

I personally did not feel the wrath of Alice was worth me wearing my usual day ware. I grimaced when I saw it all laid out before me, and desperately wondered if I could escape wearing these things – Alice had given me VERY strict instructions on make up, hair and what outfit and accessories I _would _be wearing today.

As if to conclude my mental battle, my cell phone beeped from a message:

_Bella, don't even think about not wearing what I laid out for you! You will look even amazing than you already do! Be confident, you want to impress Edward don't you? You might want to, remember the visitors he told you about. Now go get changed and don't forget the make up and hair!_

_Alice :)_

_Stupid pixie, _I cursed in my mind. I guess I already knew there was no getting out of wearing this... but it was just so adventurous! I didn't want to attract more attention than I already had. Edward had told me about five visitors that were visiting the Cullens for a week. Why might I want to impress Edward? I am sure a change of clothes wouldn't do anything, plus Edward said they were like extended family. Surely if he liked one of them they would have gotten together by now, right? _Right, _I assured myself – there was no need for any other problems right now.

Glaring at the clothes I snatched them up and put them on. I braved the mirror and gasped. _Wow, _these clothes were so loud, saying '_look at me everyone!'_. As much as I wanted to hate them, I felt strangely good and confident. I mean, I looked _good, _better than my usual vampire looks.

I was wearing knee length black corset laced climbing boots, with purple wash skinnies underneath. Round my waist was a simple black belt but the buckle was a large gemmed pistol. I never even knew accessories came this wild! I had on a collared black satin shirt, the top few buttons undone (on Alice's orders!). I had on laced purple and black arm warmers and a rose bead choker. Who knew such clothes existed? This is what some model would wear to promote a new fashion rage! But, never the less... it _did _look good. But to school? But at school was Edward. Oh God, Alice better be proud of me for this.

I only had to add mascara and eye liner for Alice's wishes, making it exact to the way she had shown me. Alice seemed intent on me looking my best for school for some unknown reason. Then, like Alice had shown me, I straightened my hair (with Rosalie's irons of course!) and back combed parts so it made me look as though I had just gotten out of bed but my hair was straight. It sounded very silly now I thought about it. To stop me from veering down the path of second thoughts, I chanted _'for Edward, or Edward!' _repeatedly in my mind.

Glancing in the mirror again, I half heartedly admired myself in the mirror. Not only Edward, but what would _everyone_ think? Only me and Alice were in on this plan. It turned out that she was very good at blocking her mind, yet I personally didn't see why we had to go to such lengths. I suppose Alice was just letting her excitement of making me wear stupid but attractive clothes out on me.

Looking at the weather to see it didn't need any adjustments, I saw it didn't. It was pretty warm but cloudy all the same. For once, it wasn't raining! I could change it, but didn't want to mess. If this town suddenly got no more rain, it would be very suspicious!

I climbed into my truck, rolled down the windows and started the engine. Arghh! I could _take _this any more! I was too tense and keyed up! I pushed the button of my radio furiously and turned the music up full blast in hope that it would drown out my worries. I wasn't even watching the road any more, but fully immersed in the music. It sure did help me to relax! I sang along loudly, ever thankful for this distraction. I pulled into the parking lot, when one of my favourite songs from a couple of years back came on. I again sang to the beginning of the song as heads raised. What were they looking at? I was hardly singing loud or anything. _Stupid humans,_ I thought in my care free mood.

_Could you see I want you by the way I push you away, yeah!_

_Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today_

_Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction, yeah!_

_Hey! Hey!_

_Get tangled up in me_

I accentuated the 'hey!' as I opened the door. With a slick move, I pulled myself so I was sitting on the roof of my truck as I sang along to myself. Music always soothed me. I guessed I might look a bit foolish up there so I grabbed a book from my book and pretended to examine it. A certain shiny Volvo pulled up next to my truck as did a flashy Mercedes. Ah, the visitors.

I was still singing by now, and kept 'reading' my book.

_Get tangled up in me!_

The final line sounded and I felt that I must update my iPod when I got home. I hadn't listened to that song in ages but I still knew all the words. I jumped off my truck's roof and leaned in the window to switch off the radio.

Whilst I did this, a certain Adonis climbed out of a certain silver car. Who knew why I was ignoring him, but I didn't want to appear possessive. Before turning back to my new friends, I saw several guys looking at me weirdly and everyone else was contemplating my appearance. Trust them not to miss a thing.

'Hey.' A velvety voice said.

I turned and controlled my grin with a pleasant smile, 'Edward.'

'You look amazing, I like the new clothes.' He looked me over and was grinning sheepishly as I caught him staring.

I swear my dead heart just died all over again right then. Did he just say I looked _amazing_??

But before I could respond, Alice jumped on my back and squealed, 'Belllaaaa! Loving the clothes!'

I just glared at her but softened when she returned her infamous puppy dog expression. 'Alice, your the one who bought them and forced me into wearing them. Why act like you haven't seen them before?'

'Ohh Bella, now you look even better than before! The guys will be throwing themselves at you harder than ever before!' Oh joy. In my first week, I was constantly getting asked out and I always said that I was sorry but lets just be friends. They all seemed just as determined and now I had an awful lot of _friends_.

'Let me introduce you to our 'extended family', this is Kate, Irina and Tanya.' He gestured to all three of them, but when my eyes fell on Tanya, the strawberry blonde, I had a _problem_. It was obvious what she was thinking by the way she looked at Edward. I instantly calmed the growl I could feel building up in my chest and smiled at them all.

'Nice to meet you.' When Tanya finally stopped gawking at Edward, she glanced at me, then did a double take. She eyed me up and down and her expression was pure anger and... jealousy? She glared at me, so I did the same back. Great first impressions.

As if to make the matter worse, the one and only Lauren flounced up and attempted to barge past me. But of course, I hardly even felt the contact and she bounced back from the force she was hoping to emit on me. Haha, good look with _that!_

'Owwwww!' She squealed and turned at me in her awful voice, 'What are you, made of stone you freak?'

How much I wished I could answer that question. But now I was egging this argument on! All the anger from Tanya had just doubled and now I directed it on Lauren. She really did _not _want to mess with me when I was in this mood. No way was anyone going to do the peace keeping either – I wouldn't let them!

'What makes you think I'm a freak then Lauren?' I asked it in a sweet voice which was far too easy to reach. I was aware of the crowd around us and it was getting bigger! Oh, so everyone had come to watch the bitch fight? Well I had earned enough of a reputation already, but there was no way Lauren was going to get away with this!

'You driving in here, singing that freaking song, which is like, sooo ages ago, and then like, get on the roof of your truck, yeah, then you like, dress like a circus freak and make all the boys like, _perve_ over you!'

God she was annoying. Irritating. Can't I just snap her head off, please?

I looked over her own clothes. A mini skirt that hardly covered her bum, a pair of 5 inch heels which she could _not _walk in and a tiny vest top that looked many sizes too small.

'I can't help it if the boys can't stay away.' I smirked whilst Edward's eyebrows shot up at the comment. Ha, our second argument and it was in front of the entire school population, again! Well, I wasn't waiting, I would win this thing right here, right now. No backing down for Miss Bella Swan today. Especially as I'm a vampire!

'You just go around like you own, like the entire freaking school! It's like, not right! You just wear like, _really _slutty clothes, like, guys like that!' Her voice was going up now but I kept mine cool and hard. My clothes were hardly slutty!

'Slutty? You want a definition of slut, Lauren?' I raised my voice for everyone to here, something to humiliate Lauren, '_You._ I think you need a change of clothes, did they shrink in the wash? And careful you don't hurt somebody in those heels.'

She gasped and narrowed her eyes and screeched, 'You think that because you hang around with popular people and act like a bitch because all the boys want you it makes you Queen! You little WHORE!'

Then she lunged for me, hoping to land a punch or something on my face. She would only end up hurting herself. I side stepped her neatly and turned to face her. I saw Edward's face now. He looked really mad about something.

She turned on the spot and almost hissed at me.

'I've been called worse by better.' I said simply, letting a smile play at the corners of my lips. She was really too easy to mess with. Getting worked up over everything. I leaned against my truck and folded my arms.

'Your so gay.' Oh my God, what on earth had she resorted to?? I just grinned at her, watching her stupidly smug face as though she had won this. It wasn't over yet Lauren, no way...

'Why, do I attract you?' My grin spread even wider flashing my perfect teeth, humans usually find that a bit creepy! Hee hee, I was getting her mad!

She opened her mouth to say something else when Edward interrupted. Heads snapped towards him as he spoke to Lauren.

'Lauren.' He said sternly. Of coarse, being the obsessive loser that she is, Lauren just leaned in and had a sickly smile plastered over her face.

'Eddie, I know, this little whore here is just so _mean!_ I knew she was lying when she said about you two making out, what wannabe!' She glared at me after the last comment. Oooh, I wanted to rip her apart right there, just let me hurt her, let me hurt her!!!

'Lauren.' Edward said coldly, 'Don't you dare call Bella anything like whore or anything again! And my name is not Eddie! Why must you the Bella so much?' She had her mouth hanging wide open, she was seriously deluded! 'And I would never even consider as much as laying a finger on you, and for your information, we did make out all those times.' He added seriously.

Oh, great Edward, just destroy whatever imagination is left! Why on earth was he embarrassing me like this in public? And how come he said that to Lauren anyway? I glanced at Tanya who was gaping, open mouthed at him, was she so deluded too? Mind you, this has killed two birds with one stone!

Lauren, as immature as she is, let out a shrill scream not unlike that of our previous dispute and stormed off into the school building. I would have liked to say more to her, but no doubt the opportunity would come. To maintain my previous laid back nature, I raised my hand to high five Edward.

He looked at me incredulously but returned the gesture. I caught his hand before it could fall and winked at Alice as she did back at me. Now I understood what she said in her text earlier today, about looking good. I guess she knew I wouldn't like Tanya because she was after Edward. Not that I could blame her, but I didn't want any competition with vampires. Humans, I could handle. But I would have to push myself to show her that I was not giving up, ever! I pulled his hand towards me.

'Come on, we have English!'

Tanya glared at me again, but I just blanked her. I would show that strawberry blonde just what I got!

**Hmm, new Bella... anyway she is getting protective over Edward that is why. And she has to maintain her wittiness in arguments with Lauren, lol! She really bugs me but its fun to write, :D Sorry if it isn't that long, but my next doors chimney was on fire so I had to clear out of my room for ages! Anyway... HOLIDAYS! I went to bed at 5:00am yesterday I'm kind of tired after 4 hours sleep... as you can guess! **

**Thanks for reading and please review! :)**


	14. Love Game

**Hellooo! Seems that you guys enjoyed the last chapter! Goody good because there is another one right here, ;) Thank you to everyone! Did you guys enjoy your Valentine's day? I hate it to death myself ;) I am now in the sanctuary of my bed because I have injured myself so badly. 2 blisters is quite painful, lol! I have just been ice skating... I am one of the really annoying people who go really fast, OMG, idea!!!!!!!!! Okie dokie, here we are...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognise as Stephenie Meyer's.**

**L O V E G A M E**

I walked hand in hand with Edward to the English room. Yes, hand in hand! Get some of that Tanya!

'Let's skip.' He asked me when we neared the corridor that was gradually filling up.

'I like English.' I frowned and wondered whether my teacher would notice.

'Spanish, then? It's good to skip every once in a while. It's not like we will get caught or anything.' He reassured me but the last comment made me want to blush. Mind you, I could turn this to my advantage.

'Spanish.' I agreed.

English was pretty much the same as ever, with an essay that could be completed with ease in the sleepless hours I lay through. All my grades had been raised to straight A's now, what with all this extra studying and this memory of mine. I was lucky to have every lesson but Gym with Edward, therefore Tanya couldn't get through me. Plus she would be gone after a week. Still, I ought to show her how I handled this. Who said I wasn't going to play dirty?

For the start of this morning I had successfully avoided all of my peers who were just itching to ask me about the cafeteria incident and now this morning's. No doubt I would have to say something soon. I made my way out of the door after Edward when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Ugh, Mike.

'Hey Bella!' He looked enthusiastic and nervous at the same time.

'Yes.' _Get on with it, your limiting my time with Edward! _

'Are you going out with Cullen?Jess said you weren't but...' Trust Jessica to know exactly what went on around school, she was such a gossip!

'No.' Darn, at least Tanya wasn't there right then.

Mike's face lit up and I could feel Edward at my shoulder. 'Well, uh, um... wouldyouliketogotothedancewithme?' He blurted out the last phrase quickly but not enough for me to decipher what he said.

'What dance?' Give me time to think of an excuse at the least! There was no way I was going anywhere with this golden retriever friend of mine. Too clingy, need some air please!

'The Spring dance. It's on Saturday.' He gushed out the words again whilst I cast a glance up at Edward. He was just glaring murderously at Mike. Oooh, was he _jealous_?

'Mike, sorry to disappoint you but I am in Seattle on that day.' I tried to say it a kindly as I could, but it still sounded kind of rude.

His face fell and he muttered, 'Oh... okay.'

I cast an apologetic smile as he walked out of the room forlornly. I followed him out and stood in the now empty corridor.

'Uhm, what exactly do you do when you skip?' I asked stupidly, I hadn't had the courage to do this before. Edward just shrugged when I heard footsteps coming from a corridor, with a familiar smell. Ooh, Tanya!

I smirked at my plan formed in my head and before I could doubt myself, turned to Edward and pushed him against the lockers. I smiled as I heard the footsteps nearing the corner and at Edward's bewildered face. I pressed myself against him and marvelled at how good it felt. _Concentrate Bella! _Mm, but Edward was so close, and me wrapped around him like this was almost to much. I met his eyes and leaned closer to him, still maintaining the force that kept me so close. Only an inch apart!

Edward didn't seem aware of the footsteps making their way ever so slowly round the corner, so I thought, _oh stuff it._ And then I kissed him.

Where on earth had this confidence come from and how was he kissing me back?! It was all madness, madness, madness! He kissed me back fiercely and I just contemplated how I could get used to this. My hands were in his hair again and his on my waist. Pulling me close he swung us around so I was pushed up against the lockers and he was so close! I moaned as his tongue grazed mine and I yanked his head further. God damn it, he was such a god kisser! I was trapped between him and the locker, but I was not complaining!

I heard a scream as I was wrenched away from his lips. I growled and turned to see who had pulled him away from me. Oh guess who – the one an only Tanya Denali herself. Damn, she looked murderous!

'Yes?' I asked coldly whilst yanking my wrist back.

'What on earth were you DOING?' She screamed the words, but in my opinion she looked like a little toddler having a tantrum.

'Couldn't you see I was _busy_? You could have at least waited until I was over.' I said it simply but felt nothing towards her. No guilt, nothing that she had caught us. I was _glad _she caught us, so I could shove that in her face.

She went to talk but I turned back to Edward who looked shell shocked. Poor guy. But he was going to have to pick me before I did anything to show Tanya that this 'game' was over. No, this had just begun. Then I heard the soles of shoes meet with worn carpet on the side of the English class opposite the one we had just left. Acting on instinct, I leaped towards the nearest door and pulled me and Edward inside. It just so happened it was a janitors closet. Oh, WHAT was happening today? It was all too mad for my liking!

I shoved Edward in and pulled the door shut before Tanya could realise what was going on. She was too livid to see clearly what had just happened in a second. I peeped through the keyhole as Mrs Beech opened the door and peered out onto the scene. Oh, how I wanted to burst into hysterics! There was Tanya, seething, shoulders hunched and fists clenched glaring at the lockers in front of her. And the lockers were somewhat... _damaged_ with huge dents.

'TANYA DENALI!' Mrs Beech was known for her short temper. 'WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU DONE? THIS IS SCHOOL PROPERTY YOU HAVE DAMAGE! TO THE HEAD'S OFFICE _AT ONCE!_'

'Miss!' Tanya had whirled around and became concious of the mess I had left her in.

'NOW!' Mrs Beech had grown red with anger and was positively roaring now. Tanya huffed and shuffled off the the Head's office. I burst out laughing whilst clutching my stomach.

'Oh come on! That _was _funny!'

'Yes, but...' Edward was looking guilty but was smiling. Ha, another point to Bella Swan! 'She _did _interrupt us.'

I felt all nervous again! Where had all this madly confidence gone? In the time I needed it most it had to scarper now! Aahh! Janitors closet! The place where all typical high school students made out after escaping class! The place that was far to small to be trapped in with Edward when you have a self restraining order! I folded my arms behind my back to give myself some sense of control. My eyesight wasn't dimmed by the darkness, everything was just as clear.

Edward smirked as he saw my embarrassment. I should have felt miffed at this, but all I felt was my love for this godly creature in front of me. True, this was the perfect time for me to confess, but my ideal location was definitely _not _the school janitor's closet! I shifted and dug my nails in as I saw how close he was in this cramped little room.

'You owe me for that, you know.' I finally managed to say.

'True, true, I do, but you _did _pounce on me earlier today.' Ooh, he sounded so deeply seductive! I put on my best voice whilst my chin jutted out.

'You seemed to like it.'

He cocked his head and seemed to consider that for a moment. 'True.' He leaned in towards me and my breathing hitched. He was going to kiss me! Oh, this was not me being forceful, pushing myself on him, but of his own accord! His lips met gently on mine and my hands took their place on his chest, his now on my shoulders.

Then the door was flung open and light poured into the tiny, compact space. I pulled away quickly but not before the two giggling seniors saw us kissing. It wasn't even for two seconds!

'Huh?' The guy asked as he held the girl's hand.

'Ooooh! Edward Cullen and Bella Swan in the janitors closet!' She giggled and put her hand over her mouth. Caught. AGAIN!

I sent her a death glare and she soon shut up. 'Have fun.' Then I pulled out of Edward's grasp and paced towards the school exit as quick as human walking went. This whole day was going way too wild! First I arrive at school dressed as a model, then I get into a bitch fight with Lauren, make a new enemy, get asked out by a loser, then I skip class, make out with Edward, destroy some lockers, get Tanya into deep trouble, kiss Edward and then get discovered kissing Edward in the janitors closet. Now, I knew the whole school would be informed of my behaviour by the end of lunch. I could just imagine it: Bella Swan, the new student at Forks High, general heart throb. At first shy, but then turns the tables by turning into a bitch and forcing herself on popular guys labelled 'Edward Cullen'.

I flopped down on one of the picnic benches that was shaded from the classroom's view and put my head in my hands. _Breathe Bella! _Okay, relax, relax... someone sat down next to me. I tensed up all over again, all signs of tranquillity gone. How did he have such an effect over me?

'You know, you have a lot of mood swings.' He joked but I wasn't in the mood. Then he pressed gently, 'What's wrong?'

'You know the whole school is going to know about this by the end of lunch?' I looked at him as I took my head out of my hands. He nodded and shrugged. 'Yeah, well it's all right for _you! _You aren't now labelled as school bitch! Excuse my language, but I just want to get along with everyone, but now I am stirring up everything with Lauren and now that Tanya friend of yours! I mean, what will Charlie think when he finds out all this I have been up to?'

'I'm sorry about Tanya, she is sort of... possessive, even. I don't like it at all. And you already know that I hate Lauren. I am sure Charlie will respect your feelings if you just explain its all rumour or something.' The kissing rumours I would have to deal with, but not when I had many witness' of the two arguments. And Tanya couldn't prove it was me. And Edward, of course, though she obviously wouldn't blame him. I would have to say it was a dare or something...

The bell sounded and I sighed. Pulling my bag – which had miraculously managed to stay with me all this time – onto my shoulder, I walked with Edward to the cafeteria making small talk. I learned that the boy and girl who had encountered us were Kyle Madison and Beth Perry. I couldn't be bothered much about the guy but it was the girl. I could just tell from the look on her face that this was the gossip of the week. Bigger than even that argument. Though no doubt the two would be combined to make my reputation as a girl who doesn't give a damn and flung herself over everyone. Well you know what? If that's what they thought about me, then I would make it all the better for them! I would be the I-don't-care, look-at-me girl, if that's the way they perceived me!

I picked up my stride and held my chin high. I still had Tanya to deal with, who was no doubt seeking revenge. I pushed open the door and was greeted by more stares, I almost felt like curtseying! Well I wouldn't go that far, but I smiled and almost skipped over to the lunch queue. I took my place behind a guy called Tyler who I had come to known in the time I sat at Mike's table. Playing it cool, I grabbed a tray and tapped him on the shoulder.

'Bella!' He looked staggered as he realised who was talking to him. His eyes wondered over my body and I cleared my throat impatiently. He snapped back into focus and looked me in the eye. It puzzled me how they could talk to me but not the Cullens. I guess they spent so much time pushing the humans away whilst I just treated them like any other would.

'Tyler!' I positively beamed at him, 'So, how's things?'

Poor guy, he looked confused at my sudden interest in him, 'Uh, um, they're good! They're great! Oh Bella, can I ask you something?'He looked overcome by some amazing revelation of his. I nodded. 'Will you go to the Spring dance with me?' Huh, he was confident, I'll give him that.

'I thought it was a girls choice?' I asked innocently, after finally viewing a poster of this dance for myself.

'Yeah, but I was hoping you'd ask me?' He had a cocky smile on now. Okay, he was _too_ confident.

'Well, you see I'm in Seattle on that Saturday.' I tried my best to look apologetic, and it must have worked because he seemed unfazed.

'Well we always have prom!' Then he winked and turned to choose his food whilst I stood there stupidly. Okay, this guy was too brash for my liking. I turned to Edward behind me who looked fractious of some sort. Huh, what was wrong with him? I paid for my pointless food and walked to his table with him. Oh hoorah, hoorah, guess who was sitting there. I set down my tray next to Alice where Edward took the seat next to me. I smiled warmly at Kate and Irina and they returned the gesticulation, so fortunately they didn't hate me like their piteous sister.

Tanya cleared her throat and I didn't look up from my conversation with Kate and Alice. She cleared it again quite loudly. I turned my head towards her a fraction and gave her a weird look before going back to the talk. Then she did I again so loudly that I couldn't resist.

'Furball?' I questioned sweetly so no one else could see the underlying fact that it was an insult. The table erupted into laughter and Tanya just glowered at me. Ha, let her.

'As a matter of fact, why are _you _sitting here?' She sneered at me. I knew what she was expecting me to do. She was waiting for me to insult her back, just like I did with Lauren. Well, let's just say, _you can't play the player._ The table fell silent at her comment, everyone astonished at her snide comment. Ah, they were all waiting for me to affront her. Well, I had to say something, didn't I? I surprised them with my response.

'I'll go, I can see I'm not wanted here.' I stood up with my bag and tray, 'But Tanya?' She looked up expectantly as if this was some part of the plan of mine or whatever she thought I was up to. 'Revenge is sweeter than you ever were. I welcome it.' I whispered into her face then sashayed off to an empty table and the other side of the room. Ha, the look on her face when I said that was quite droll!

I seated myself in one of the chairs and sat there cross legged in my chair looking at nothing in particular. I guess I must have looked a little weird just sitting there and smiling at nothing. Well, for about 3 seconds until loads of people came to sit in the chairs beside me. Oh joy.

'Bella, how come your not sitting with the Cullens today?' One guy called Josh asked.

'Yeah, you ditched them or something?' Another guy, ugh, they had all crawled over here because I was free! There was more scraping of chairs. Angela, Ben, Jess, Mike, Tyler and a few other people joined.

'Yeah, tell me all about it Bella!' Gee, Jessica had to know everything about everybody didn't she? Such a gossip...

'Well, you know the strawberry blonde, Tanya?' I received a chorus of nods, obviously they would know everything; I shouldn't have underestimated them all. 'Well, she starts choking then asks me why am I sitting there. So _I _didn't know what was wrong with sitting with your friends, but I just left before I could cause any more trouble.' I just shrugged and grinned, knowing they could hear me perfectly well, even though the table was on the other side of the room.

I saw Jess taking it all in, notifying every word I said. I cast a glance over at the Cullen table and saw Edward and Alice looking at me. I smiled and they stood up. Oh right, they were coming to sit over here? Aaw, they were so nice. Obviously, when Jasper saw Alice get up he followed her too. Tanya had her mouth wide open like she couldn't believe they were coming over here. Haha!

I budged over my chair for them, and several people at the table looked uncomfortable.

'How come you left?' I quizzed them.

'We're your friends and what Tanya said was way out of order!' I thought it would have been Alice who said that, but it was Edward. I sighed at the word 'friends' and Alice shot me a glare. What was she getting mad at me for?!

'Bella you know perfectly well what I mean by that.' Alice retorted – she knew exactly what I was thinking. She knew I liked Edward and she said Edward liked me too. And I agreed – he liked me enough to make out with me every now and then but he didn't _love _me. There was a difference in the intensity of the feelings we felt towards each other. Mine were enough to drive him away and even with this at stake, I would risk it – just not now.

I smacked my forehead when I remembered Edward was a mind reader! Oh great! Now Edward knows that I like him! Fortunately, Alice seemed to have it under control by her gesturing to me. Ha, when I turned around, the rest of my table had confused looks on their faces. Of course they didn't understand any of our silent exchange.

'Soo, Bella.' Ugh, that was Jess. 'You and Edward, huh, in the janitors closet!' She squealed and Jasper snickered whilst Alice winked at me.

'It's not what you think guys!' I struggled desperately for some excuse but even my vampire mind couldn't come up with an excuse quickly enough.

'Bella. Kyle and Beth saw you getting off in the janitors closet!'

'We were not getting off! Since when did you use that term anyway?' Damn, I needed to maintain this laid back nature I put up, it would be particularly useful right now!

'Whatever Bella, tell me about it!' This girl was so persistent! There was no way I was telling her anything! I looked at Edward with a pleading look my face, trying to imply the message: _help!_ But he just shrugged! Well, if he was going to be like that...

'I was bored.' I drawled, then marched off to my next class leaving them all baffled.

**Thanks for reading everyone! The amount of distractions I get whilst writing is unbelievable! Anyways, tell me your thoughts and review please :)**


	15. Fire Starter

**Greetings my dear friends! Or readers, should I say... I would like to give my usual big thanks to all reviewers, subscribers and those who added to favourites! This story is getting increasingly popular, it gets me all excited!!!! Anyway, I present you with Chapter 15 (I can't actually believe I have gone this far). And Bella's time table won't be the same or anything cause I seriously can't be bothered to do the lessons the same! I haven't been updating because my mom has been keeping me 'busy' – pfffft! Thanks to XcolourOfAngelsX [making Lauren ask Edward to Spring Dance – not in this chapter though ;)] and Kools0808 [For the scene at the start of this - I just changed the classroom to outside the cafeteria, it was more convenient :D]!!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognise as SM's.**

**F I R E S T A R T E R**

As I strode out of the cafeteria and into the empty courtyard outside, I heard someone following. What was Edward doing following me, when I just stupidly and more importantly, _falsely_ admitted that I was bored so I kissed him? What a lie. I was anything but bored!

In a second I was against the wall and his arms were either side of me. He was gentle with his actions (not that it would have hurt anyway) but forceful at the same time. His eyes bore into mine, and his aura was concentrated highly at the closeness. Ahh, I was losing myself again!

"You were bored?" His voice was more husky now, and he looked pained but determined at the same time. I was too dazed to respond, so he just spoke some more, "I don't know what your game is Bella, but I'm going to figure you out." _My game is making you mine and getting Tanya out of your face. _Of course I didn't say that as my voice box seemed to be having problems functioning.

"Good luck with that." I breathed, finally finding some words to speak before I leant in even closer. He just groaned at me before taking my face in his hands and kissing me softly. Ahhh, his touch set of some kind of circus show in me! My lips tingled at his touch, my fingers uncontrollable in their search over his chest, my tongue some wild animal when this was transformed from an innocent kiss. He was so heavenly it was criminal! I let out a low moan and cringed at the sound, embarrassed. I felt him smile at the noise and press himself even closer to the the contours of my body. Edward started to pull back at the sound of something in the background, but I was so occupied that I just pulled his lips back to mine and relished the fact that he obliged.

It was only when I heard a sharp gasp that I realised we were being watched.

Oh dear.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Around us was a crowd of people who had just cleared from the cafeteria. They look shocked at our obvious display of affection of each other. Right after I had told Mike that I wasn't going out with him. My life was really going down the drain, leaving pretty much no trace of any dignity. My lips were parted in shock as Edward removed his arms whilst clearing his throat. Lauren was at the front of the crowd, a loathing look on her face. Hmm, I have to say that made me feel a tiny bit better.

I needed to say something to get myself out of this mess. Except what came out of my mouth was not _quite _expected, yet escape was at my hands in this form and I took it with out a second thought. I giggled and tapped Edward's cheek with one finger. "You naughty boy!" Then giggled again as I cavorted out of the circle of people as quickly as I could, ignoring the stares of the school. Really, what was so interesting about two people making out? I personally would not like to gawk at such a sight. No thank _you!_

I sat down in Trigonometry, next to the empty seat that Edward usually occupied. I took about my books and crossed my arms with a bored look on my face, trying to take my mind off what had just happened, like I didn't give a damn. I couldn't right? Well, all I could think about the way Edwards lips on mine, the way his fingers lingered on my face... when I was rudely interrupted from my fantasies by a certain rude person.

"Hey, is that seat empty?" Ugh, that was Tyler. Persistent fool, as if I would ever consider him, even more so after seeing someone named, 'Edward Cullen'. Speak of the devil, he strolled into the classroom and neared my desk. I pulled my eyes back to Tyler and smiled amiably.

"Yes it is, and so will this one be if you sit down." I don't care whether it sounded gauche, he had it coming.

Yet he just grinned arrogantly and said, "Ah, I love girls who play hard to get." Then he winked and walked off! Grr, dream _on! _I growled at his rescinding figure with frustration. I was about to greet Edward trying my best to look casual, when _another _boy came to talk to me!

"Hey Bells, how do you fancy coming with me to the Spring Dance?" I didn't even know his name! Why were they all so pushy? And since when was I called Bells? Only Charlie called me that and only Charlie was allowed!

"I'm in Seattle that day." I didn't even bother saying sorry; I was in such a foul mood with these guys! Then he just shrugged and slouched off to talk to his friends. Oh great, I can't glare at two people at once! I would end up going cross eyed or something like that if I did – better not! I ended up glaring at the board and getting even more annoyed in the dissatisfaction it gave.

Finally, our teacher came into the room as soon as Edward was seated. Then flounced in the girl of my nightmares. Tanya Denali. Ugh, was she stalking me or something?! She just _had _to be in my class! She grinned at me smugly and I just gave her my best _'you freak!' _look and turned back to glaring at the board. I probably looked demented and was now thinking about the board coming to life so I could take my anger out on it when my teacher cleared his throat.

"Miss Swan?" Yes, what do you want sir, can you not see I am _not _in the mood to be messed about and leered at by your perverted smile? Obviously not... I ended up in resulting to delivering him my best dazzling smile. Now leave me alone already! He seemed to falter at the gesture and I rolled my eyes. I was tensing up more and more by the second. I _really _needed to hit something. "I need you to swap places with Tanya, she seems to know Mr. Cullen and would feel comfortable sitting next to him."

Unfortunately and both fortunately, I was imagining a punch bag with Tanya's head on it (I was getting some seriously weird images...) at the same time as he said that so I burst out laughing, which also covered my shock. Half of me (the physical side) was letting out peals of laughter about my image, where my mental and slightly more functional side was heaving with hatred for that little scum bag. She had tricked the teacher into us swapping! That... _bitch! _I couldn't think of any other word to describe her! Just so that she could sit next to her little _Eddie _she had carted me off to sit next to one of my 'admirers'.

Well, her face was distorted in anger from my reaction – oh yeah, I was still laughing. I took a deep breath to calm down, but decided to play along if she felt so infuriated about the way I took this. Ha, I was unpredictable! I would make sure she couldn't mess with _me!_

"Sorry sir, what did you say about Tanya being incapable?" Her face darkened at my twist on his words. Ha, take that!

"She would prefer to sit next to someone she knows, apparently. Though I don't see why she should..." Ohh, my magic was so easy to use on teachers! Flash them a smile, put on a sweet voice, they will side with you immediately! All the same, I obliged and went to sit in the place she would originally have had. I didn't want her getting her way in getting _me _worked up over something. Plus, I didn't want Edward thinking I was desperate or anything. Well, my resolve wavered when I saw them exchanging greetings and Edward smiling politely. Grrr.... I was all irritable again!_ Let me rip her head off, play football with it, stick it back on backwards, get her to do apple bobbing, give her a DEATH makeover, then I might just calm down_, I thought. In my dreams...

I looked over to Mike, trying not to show my reluctance and show Tanya how she won. Not if I could help it, I would have to turn this round... Time for 'Mike-you-are-my-best-buddy!'. In other words, make it seem that I was ecstatic to sit next to him and Tanya had just given me the best gift ever. Not the worst.

All in the act, I skipped over and gave a big squeal: "Mike!!!" He looked gob smacked but soon grinned a goofy smile and... gave me a _hug. _He was a nice guy and everything, but seriously. PDA EVERYONE! I held my breath and flashed him a set of my teeth. Wow, he was too busy staring in awe he didn't freak out! Nice one, Bella! * Internal high five! *

Our teacher cleared his throat again, "Nice to see you have lots of new, er, _friends _but please calm down."

"Ah, sir, friends do have their benefits!" I giggled back. OH EW! I just realised what I said! Now it makes me seem like I have friends with benefits!! At this point every guy in the room was looking at me hungrily and I felt like kicking something. Wow, anger management issues Bella? I was just calming myself down until someone called out:

"So _that's _what is going on between you and Cullen!" And then another, just to add to this grave that I have dug for myself:

"Hey, Cullen, can I share?" Wow, they even dared speak to him!

Did I mention this grave was very, VERY deep? I stiffened and was amazed when Edward turned to the owner of the voice and hissed. It was too low for human ears to hear, but I missed it never the less. So did Tanya, I saw. She was shaking in rage at the new turn of events, all directed at me. That made me giggle all the more. When she heard Edward's reaction her eyes widened even more. Wow, did he really feel like that about me? Perhaps he liked me after all. Oh I don't know! How could I confess when Tanya was hovering about all the time?

"Class, class!" The teacher was looking flustered at this conversation that quite clearly everyone could hear. "_Please_ can we calm down? Now? " I would have felt sorry for him, but not after the looks I had received. I smirked at the way Tanya scowled at me. I just let her get on with her scowling, no need to provoke the little girl any further. For now.

When I thought I was finally getting peace from irritating high school students, a note landed on my page. Unable to suppress a growl, I opened the note with a smooth gesture of my hand. I heard a quiet chuckle at my rejoinder.

_Bella, me and everyone else (from my table) are going to the ice rink tomorrow, want to come? It would be fun!_

_-Mike _

What?

Where had this come from? Mind you, it would be with his friends... I looked at Edward out of the corner of my eye. I noticed how Tanya had not given up her scowling. She should do a sponsored-scowl! All she needed to do was cross her arms and abracadabra! You have your on Tanya-sized, 100% bitch, squashed face pug! Edward, on the other hand, was glaring at Mike, who looked up at me hopefully. Hmm...

_Sure, can I invite a few people?_

_-Bella_

The ice rink would be anything but fun, yet I knew I must keep up the act and let Tanya know that Mike was just about _the _greatest friend ever. As if. I saw him frown as though this was bad news. I was guessing he already knew who I planned on inviting. I looked at him and battered my eyelashes in an attempt for him to say yes. His frown smoothed out and he nodded with a daft grin on his face. Then I got writing again.

_Fancy coming?_

_-Bella_

I flicked it onto Edwards work and he folded it out instantly. Tanya shot me daggers but I just ignored her like I would an immature child. Let the little pug get on with scowling... No point bothering to rouse her from the infamous sulking.

OH! A resolution hit me as fast as they came! As a matter of fact, I just had about THE greatest idea ever... and no one, not even Edward would know it was me!

_Come to what?_

_-Edward_

I rolled my eyes at his falseness. I took the straight forward route, hurrying as I wanted to get started with my plan. It was more a thing of planting the seed and watching it grow... just who would know I planted it? Tanya would of course, but would she have any proof? Nope. Oh wow, I was turning evil, the pixie would be proud at my excellent scheming! I wrote two notes:

_I know very well you have been reading my notes through Mike's head, now are you coming?_

_-Bella_

Then I changed my pen and wrote in a scruffy manner that looked nothing compared to my letters:

_You know, I have been like, getting like, thoughts! You know how Tanya, like always hangs around with her sisters? Well she is always, like, giving them, like WEIRD looks! Like it's like, not right... anyway, I overheard her like, chatting to them, and she was like, looking at them really weirdly like, ALL the time! OMG, she is like, a LESBIAN!_

I wrote in 'Lauren Language' then flicked Edward's note first, after sending the second one so it hit the first, and flew sideways onto another desk so it looked as though someone had flicked it from the _side _not in front! Oh sweet vampire reflexes!

I composed my face, but inside I was dying from my spastic fits of laughter. I looked at Edward and waited for his reply. He caught me watching and nodded. I smiled back and turned quickly before he could see my grin get any wider.

I was positively going to burst when I heard a gasp and an intake of breath from the people two tables away from Edward's in his row. I heard the note being passed around to everyone in the class, everyone gasping at this information and gossip. Oh, I am quite the fire starter!

It finally reached my desk, and I unfolded it quickly as Mike leaned over my shoulder to see. I didn't like the close contact at all, but I trusted him not to do anything. He read the note and whispered to me,

"Lesbian!?"

I giggled and let out my 'exclamation', "Who would have thought?"

"No wonder she is all over Edward!" Another voice said from across the room. I saw Tanya look up after hearing all the whispers, she was smirking! Oh, she thought the words were about ME! Hahaahaa! She was in for a big surprise! The note had reached everywhere but Edward's table, but no doubt he had seen it through everyone else's heads. I peeked at him and he looked questioningly at me. I shrugged as if I had nothing to do with it, and he looked amused. YES! He found it funny! GOALLLLL!

Okay, Bella calm down! Neither had seen what had happened, and it was so fast, they both probably thought it was everyone else sending notes. I had seen that both Edward and Tanya (_nosey prat,_ I cussed in my mind) were distracted my note to see the other. I should really consider becoming Alice's second-in-command...

Class ended without our teacher discovering the note and everyone started to file out after giving Tanya a wide berth – the girls especially. She started scowling again, and I registered how the name 'Pug' was quite suitable to her taste in scowling. It was funny, the way she managed to scrunch up even her nose, so it looked as though her face had been bashed in... hehe! I would have said something, but I wouldn't have wanted to disturb her scowling time. Someone else did it for me:

"Hey, Tilly!" Tanya called out to someone, and grabbed her shoulder. Tee hee!! This was WAY to good to miss! I saw everyone else stop to watch Tilly's response to her touch.

"EWWWWWWWWWWW! GET OFF ME!!!!!!!!!! DON'T TOUCH MEEEEE!!!!!" Then she ran screaming from the room. Did I mention she was a prep?

HAHA, Tanya just stood there with her hand still outstretched, looking confused. Then she muttered, "Freak." and that set everyone off. I escaped the room quickly and started laughing so hard I was clutching my sides. I heard someone laughing with me – a guys voice. Ack, it was Edward! I glanced around quickly and rejoyced silently when I saw it wasn't polluted by the Pug's presence.

"Who on earth did that?" He asked humorously.

"I honestly don't know who did, but who ever it was should consider asking Alice for an apprenticeship!" I laughed with him and it felt good to let it all out and not worry about people making judgements or being pestered by Lauren, etc...

"Hm, you really should." He answered. Oh dear. I opened my mouth then closed it again and laughed to consume the waves of nervousness that threatened to engulf me.

"I swear it wasn't me." I said as promisingly as I could. I noticed how close we were again. He had his hands on my shoulders and looked very serious now.

"Bella, as much as I do not believe that, I need to tell you something. I would prefer not to do it right here, but I just really need you to know before I go mad!" I wondered what on earth could be as important as what I had to say, but I nodded encouragingly, "Bella, I think I – No, no, I _know _that I -"

"Hey, hey CULLEN! Remember what I said about sharing?" Yes, a stupid STUPID person butted in shouting in our faces! I was seriously considering hitting him right there when Edward beat me to it.

That's when the drama started.

**I really would have carried on but it was more convenient to stop it here... I have already go the next paragraph written, lol, whilst I was debating over whether to carry on or not. Don't worry, I will carry on after this, so no late updating we hope ;) **

**THANKS FOR READING! Please review, it really makes me happy, just a few words! :D **


	16. Bloodshed

**Helloooo! Like the last chapter? Well I hope you like this one ;) Thanks to Alicecullenobsessed [your idea for making Lauren bleed and causing chaos inspired the idea in here :) - it was chapters ago but I wanted to include it in some way :)]**

**B L O O D S H E D**

Yes, _Edward! _He seemed in control but irate at the same time. I saw how in slow motion it all happened. I watched how how his muscles rippled in his right arm to exert the proper amount of force. I watched how his clenched fist came down on the boy's jaw with a sickening crunch. I watched how he drew back all to fast to be human. But more importantly, I saw how the boy clutched his face and tried to aim a blow back in at Edward. I watched how, as he whimpered at his broken jaw, I saw how his teeth had ripped the skip inside of his mouth, I saw how quickly the blood poured down the side of his chin and stained his teeth, yet it was slow all at once. I was all too suddenly aware of the pulsating spot on his neck, of his lush bloodshed and how it hungered me.

I barely saw Edward in my quest to get my hands on that boy. I saw his eyes were dark and he seemed to be struggling to gain control at the blood seeping out of his mouth. It should have been vile, disgusting and treacherous into the way I wanted him to come into my embrace to believe me and trust me. Then the way I would take it all away from him.

I had both of my hands either side of him as he leaned against the locker for support whilst clutching his broken jaw in place. I knew in the back of my mind that he shouldn't move it and he needed instant medical attention. I knew how bad the swelling would be and how the bruises would loiter on his face for weeks. But my impulse was far too strong.

"Hey sexy." He managed to say; I don't know how.

Then time sped up.

I leaned in and let myself smell the blood and reopened my eyes with a sinister grin on my face. Then I saw something unreal. I was watching myself. I was seeing myself through the eyes of my two halves. My half that watched in horror and my half that was the horror.

I saw Edward lunge at me and try to pull me away from the boy but my grip was too strong. He clutched my back but I just leaned in further. I smelt his blood and pushed myself towards the pulsing point. It was just calling and pounding for me to take and taste. The smell was so tempting that I touched it with my finger and saw how red it was on my finger. The scrawny boy was so weak under my touch that he groaned when I touched his jaw.

I saw Edward shout in my ear, and I heard his voice pound in my ears. He was telling me to stop, stop this now, not to do it to myself. I cocked my head slightly and widened my eyes as the boy groaned under my harsh force. I saw Edward tug and tug, pull and pull, but my force was superior to any other. The world flashed by and all I could see was red. The burgundy colour was all I saw, pumping and so vivacious! My throat burned on and on, the prior vantage point of my control. I could almost feel the flavour on the fire at the back of my throat.

I leaned in even closer and splayed my breath on his neck. I was so strong that Edward could do nothing to budge me. Then as I watched myself draw in closer, I screamed a blood curdling scream as the corridor grew dimmer and the weather outside came danker, Edward seemed to disappear - this was no place for an angel. The lockers swirled into solid bricks and the floor became grimy. The area became sullied with the previous crimes of rapes and murders that happened here. The place where my life was took.

I saw myself in two ways which was in two separate parts. One, the predator, the vampire, me symbolising my creator. Two, me, my innocence now untainted, only to be ruined by this heinous crime I was about to commit. I screamed at myself as I felt my eyes roll back into my head. I screamed and I screamed that I didn't have to be like _him_. I could be different and _better. _But then the predator told me that there was no hope, I would only end up fouled for life. His venom ran with mine, what hope was there?

I screamed at myself that there was hope, I had friends and family. But all the time I saw and felt myself shiver at the angelic voices that ran through my head. Tiny whispers contradicting all the good will I had put into this ghastly life I mine, all the thought and precision it took. All the hurt that had poured from toxic barrels when I told my parents lies. My whole life was a _lie. _I wasn't _good_. I wasn't _innocent. _I was a _monster._

All the time I carried on screaming at myself. I begged the same this time, I begged for myself once again. I begged for myself to stop. I screamed and begged and screamed. I cried out to myself to wake up, to forgive myself for this monstrous act that I didn't have to commit. Because I knew, I _knew _that all the time I was blaming myself for what I was. And I truly believed in that.

Then I yelled back at myself in my head that I was sorry, but no one would miss me, and I wouldn't be home tonight. So I screeched back in sheer desperation at myself: Who would look after Charlie, who would out his dinner on the table, who would call Renee and tell her about how great my new school life was? But I continued to contradict and lie. No one would miss me. No one would care. I tried to tell myself that they would, but I was only losing to myself. The words replayed in my head and I forced them out of there, into my words, into my world. I had known all along.

_If I couldn't forgive myself, how could I survive anything at all?_

With a jolt I was pulled off the writhing boy, who was clutching his jaw in pain. Everything flashed and I saw myself in the indifferent corridor with blue walls and blue lino floor. I flew into a glass window and half into a wall. It didn't hurt. I could have been crashing into a pile of feathers. I heard the glass shatter and strangely more figures were in the scene.

I lay there, on the floor, dazed and disorientated when I remembered what had just happened. The alley, the predator, the prey.

I saw five figures on the scene as I flew at break neck speed. I wondered who had ripped me off the exposed boy, and thanked them greatly in my head for their help. That was until I saw one figure run over to me and pull me into a tight embrace, where another lurched at the boy. The three other figures joined him too, but tried to pull him away.

Just before I turned in my head once again, another figure came to the scene, a human. I was still being clutched at and being asked something, but my eyes rolled back into my head, and the world flashed back to that obnoxious alley way. I thrashed in someone's arms, screaming once again. I felt hands on me, _his _hands – that disgusting creature of my past. Then I saw a build lean over the small victim and I launched myself in front of the boy. The surroundings flashed again, I was in the alley again.

It was all so clear now. I was not the predator in this situation. No, no, I had that all wrong. I was the victim, the helpless thing. But no way was I going to watch myself die all over again. I would not watch myself as someone else be forced into this way of life. I would make sure of that. My memories were replaying the same old scene.

For the first time I heard something other than myself. People yelling at me not to get in the way, he was dangerous. But I couldn't leave myself to be tormented like I was, in this alley. It was no vision to me – it was real. I couldn't see clearly, but I screamed into the face of my creator.

"You may have taken everything I ever had, but I will NEVER, EVER, let you take anyone else the way you did me! You took my ENTIRE WORLD and spun it around, stamped and spat on it! You haunt me EVERYDAY, and when I finally find people who like me, why do you always COME BACK? You left me there where I thought I was DYING, you condemn me to a life where I will be ALONE FOREVER! I HAVE _NO ONE!_ WHY DON'T YOU _SEE_?" I was shrieking at the top of my voice when I finished I collapsed in a heap. I could do no more.

I was on my knees and leaning over dry sobbing as I heard a rumbling storm taking place outside. I could still hear the shadows talking to me in the corner of the room, the way their silhouettes stalked me and pounced . The way their ghostly statures forced me to view memories I had no desire to live to watch, the ones that would plague me for ever.

I felt myself being sat up, but I was still and lifeless despite that I was having rampant war with my mind and my ability to keep it under control. This happened for what could have been hours, I didn't know. A wounded voice woke me from this dispute, the once velvet smoothness torn and ripped as though it were attacked by scissors. I tried to flutter my eyelids open, twitch my fingers, but I was paralysed by the ghastly memories. Once again, he pleaded me to respond, but I couldn't. The flashback had come alive and it was too much to handle.

Before I knew it, lips were being pressed against mine. They sent electric waves through me, and only one person could do that. Edward. _Edward. _Edward was really, truly here, by my side. I should have known he wouldn't have left me. It took me a few more seconds to move again, so he deepened the kiss and my eyes flickered open.

"Edward?" My voice came out as a whisper.

"Shh, I'm here." He pulled me into another hug and I clutched onto his shirt desperately, I didn't want to be separated from him at all.

"What happened?" I was still whispering, not trusting myself to go any higher in case I started whimpering.

"Bella, I _heard_ what you were thinking! I saw everything!" He sounded so hurt I took his face in mine and looked him in the eye.

"I don't know how, but I am so sorry to put you through that!" My bottom lip was quivering at the thought of what had happened, nothing about the thoughts was obscured, the lucidity was petrifying. He pulled me into a close hug.

"There is nothing to be sorry about Bella! What you went through was horrific, how can you bear it?" I just shook my head and clutched him closer.

"How did I read your mind? I can't hear it now." I frowned at the question, not sure why myself, but glad at the turn of conversation.

"I guess I sort of... I was so desperate for... I just _needed _everyone to know, to make me stop." I winced at the thought and sighed. "What happened?"

"You went into this sort of crazed frenzy... you were debating over whether to take him or not, of coarse I could see it in your mind. It wasn't all to clear, but I saw something. You started muttering and then screaming to... stop. Like before." I shuddered at the thought. "You were at his neck, still considering whilst yelling. Then, Jasper had caught the scent of the blood. He was only in the class room next door, and was fighting the urge. He lost it, then threw you across the room. You were the one that made him stop... you were begging at him Bella. I know you thought he was... someone else. He pulled away but you were still wrapped up in your flashback."

I recalled the vivid image of how I reacted to the bloodshed. I was more than ashamed. I was mortified at what I had almost done.

"What about the rest of the school?" I remembered the human that encountered the scene earlier. Surely everyone must have noticed the noise if there was me yelling and everyone trying to prise Jasper off the boy. "And the boy?"

"When you got your flashback, a storm started outside. It was so fierce that the school had to leave for home. It must be an effect of your talent if you get over emotional or something. We managed to convince the teachers that it was some sort of fight, and they called the ambulance when they saw you lying at the foot of that mess. We had them clear out when you jumped up, and Tyler was carted off. I pulled you into another room, otherwise they would have insisted on you going too. And it was Tyler. He had a broken jaw from where I hit him but cannot remember much after that. Carlisle is convincing him he was making it up."

Tyler... with a broken jaw. As guilty and as bad for him as I felt, I was glad it was him over someone else who wasn't so aggravating. I wondered how much he actually remembered. I glanced around and saw no one in sight. I saw how the Cullen's perfect reputation had been spoiled by one little incident. Everyone would be suspecting and make rumours. I guess I would be dragged into it somehow. I hoped I wasn't, what would Charlie say? I diverted my train of thoughts to something less heavy.

"Where is everyone?"

Edward grimaced, "Jasper was pretty knocked up after he realised what he had done, so it was only natural for Alice to go after him. Emmett and Rosalie went after you came around. Here, let's get you home."

My day had been anything but boring, my life twisted and turning, rousing ever so slightly to remind me that I would never be completely happy if _he _was out there.

**Yeah, sorry it is so late. Um, it's a serious chapter, hope you don't mind XD**

**Thanks for reading + please review!**

**Thanks!**


	17. Situations

**Omigosh guys! I haven't updated in a billion years and I swear I am utterly sorry! These past weeks I have been training extra hard for my rhythmic gym and contortion, spending all my time after school at my gym, I have grade examining... and then that meant homework build up... and staying after school to finish it... and then I dyed my hair _blue_. My mom, well lets just say she didn't yell, but was very 'disappointed', so I got this (laptop) taken off me forever(it seemed like that). I thought it looked pretty groovy myself. And the school didn't think so either....**

**About the Summer Heights High thing, you don't have to watch it, I just find the quotes funny, I happened to be re watching an episode at the time... but check it out – I love it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognise as Stephenie Meyer's**

**S I T U A T I O N S**

Edward drove me home and walked me to my doorstep. He looked hesitant to leave me alone after the ride home. I had spent the entire journey clutching my jacket and squeezing my eyes shut. Trying to block out the intimidating memoirs. They stayed at bay for now, but were always watching and waiting.

"Um, see you." I whispered after we stood in awkward silence for a minute. He looked puzzled.

"I don't plan on going anywhere soon." I examined him sceptically, not quite understanding what he way trying to get at. We stood in another moment of stillness.

"Look, do you think I am going to leave you alone after what happened today?" His forehead was creased and I focused on the lines etched in his head. Sadness washed through me, leaving a patchy tie dye effect. I smiled weakly. What Edward had seen today was the one thing I tried to shut off to even myself. My weakness. And I couldn't let him see it again. Not when I was in this inferior state. Lately school had provided some sort of sanctuary for me where I wouldn't have to worry about thoughts over powering me. Teenage drama was ultimately very, very distracting.

"Yes." I replied quietly. I wouldn't let him see me for much longer in this mess.

"I'm staying, Bella. It's not fair for you to go through this by yourself." It was becoming palpable that he was not leaving me to dwell in myself today. I scrunched up my eyes once more and placed two fingers on my temples. Concentrating on how to make him leave me. The sooner he went, the sooner I could retreat to my bed and spend my night in my usual status. Still, unmoving, fighting away everything but nothing in my mind. The night after my first flashback was spent with me tossing and turning, writhing at times and whimpering as I saw glimpses of memory. It was my own sleepless nightmare. Spasms of desolation and despair. Sometimes I saw ahead, I saw myself years from now, dead and empty but still alive. Alone and anxious. No life left in me.

"No." I still clutched at my jacket, my arms folded tightly over my chest. I stared limply at my boots, knowing that if I did so much as look Edward in the eye, my decision would abate to nil.

"Bella?" His voice was soft and concerned; not like the determined tone he used before. I felt another spell of guilt drench me as I knew the only way to make him leave was to push him away. As soon as I met the covers of my bed, I would no doubt zone out into my personal hallucination. I couldn't let him see me that way. I glanced up and saw Edward move his arms to embrace me.

"_No._" I whispered harshly and slammed the door in his face.

Silence.

There were still a few hours to kill before I was due to 'sleep'. I sunk down into a crouch, sliding down the back of the front door. I put my head in my hands, chanting reassurances that it was the only way.

Before I mashed the door into it's frame, I caught sight of his face. Shock, but also sadness. And then it changed swiftly into understanding. I couldn't distrust what I saw. I shook my head knowing that if stayed in this position for too long, I would become delirious there and then.

For the rest of the evening I completed homework in record time, cleaned the house at painful human speed and left Charlie's dinner to be heated. I retreated to my room and for two more hours I messed about on my computer until I heard the steady snores of Charlie.

I turned the machine off at the switch, my impatience blatant. I had distracted myself for long enough today, and now I was going to pay. I blinked and saw flashes already. I dug my nails into my palms in frustration and let out a low growl at my pathetic weakness.

Acting on instinct, I flew out of my window and into the sleepy forest. I ran, my feet taking me to a place unknown by my mind. Branches whipped my forehead and instantly snapped against the pressure, me not feeling hardly anything. My bare soles traced the muddied terrain, but never quite made contact. Running was exhilarating and I loved it. My brain was suddenly transparent, a luxury I had not converged with for all too long. My legs became inanimate on the edge of a clearing – the meadow.

Standing here reminded me of that time I had visited with Edward, where we shared that passionate kiss. I wished feverishly that I could relive the moment one hundred times; appreciating the sheer beauty of the situation. I gazed up at the sky which was now a deep midnight blue, flecked with odd stars. The moon was shadowed by gloomy clouds that drifted back and forth muttering incoherent things. I would have budged the figurines of lost souls out of the picture, but I had no want to see it tonight.

The valleys of flowers, moss and lush grass were bathed in the blue-white glow. The little light meant this was dimmed, and I noted how their stalks were not as proud as before, the buds no longer flourishing, each leaf decaying one by one. The springy heather was losing it's bounce and the grass blades melted slightly under the strain of melancholy. Winter was coming.

I sighed and sat down gently amongst the tall blades, my fingers playing with one of them gently. I hated the way I was always breaking down. It just wasn't fair. A stupid sob escaped my lips and a torrent of others followed. I put my head in my hands and let it all free – all the pent up emotions streamed out.

While hugging my knees, a pair of arms encircled my waist and a shiver gushed through my frame. Only one person could that. I smiled with new energy behind my sheet of hair.

"Shh, don't cry!" He whispered in my ear and I turned so I could just see his stunning face. "I can leave, you know..." He added uncertainly, obvious about my foolish rejection earlier. I shook my head assuredly, not caring about what he saw any more. I just hugged him tightly, loving the sense his company that seemed to drive away all thoughts unwanted.

We sat there for the rest of the night, until I sensed it was somewhere around half four. I managed to keep it from raining again tonight. My vampire body found no discomfort in the position I was in, though my human self would have been terribly stiff after of many hours of stillness. Edward lay down softly on his back, I had no choice but to follow. I shifted awkwardly, not knowing what to do, I was currently lying on his chest... mental panic attack alert!

My face, once again, too close to restrain, my body pressed against his... what was I to do? My eyes locked with his and I felt a pang of worry.

How many times had we done this now? And all of the times we just continued like we weren't constantly making out everyday. I didn't understand. He didn't want to want any more because, for what I could see, he was not pursuing a serious relationship, but he didn't want any less. Otherwise he would have stopped this by now. I wanted to know, but without ruining what we had already. We were balanced on a very thin wire, and any slightest sign of action was sure to make us topple over the edge, one way or another.

I felt my forehead crease as I knew that I would have to stop this soon, or tell him how I felt. I promised myself I would, there was no time like the present...

"Edward, I-" I stuttered and stumbled over my words, looking up at the sky as I feared rejection. Rejection. I loved the feeling of just him and I lying, peaceful... "I- I have to go! Go, home! Yeah, It's getting early and Charlie will be up soon! See you later!" My flurried speech was obviously nervous in its high tone.

_Coward. _

I was a coward.

I pulled out of his grasp unable to look Edward in the eye and ran the way back home, abusing myself with truthful comments all the way back to my room. I was just in time to hear Charlie awake.

-

That morning, I followed Alice's strict instructions that she had all too handily sent me an overly informative text this morning. I wasn't up for complaining, being too busy cursing myself for my craven behaviour I had put forth all too strongly earlier. I barely noticed the drainpipe jeans and purple silk blouse that before would have made me gasp at the prices, but I was too downcast too moan. I stuffed my text books into a chic leather bag and sighed at the ridiculous heels Alice was making me wear. I put a pair of boots into the 'fashionably' oversized bag with another sigh. I was quite the pessimist today, in all my self hate.

_Should have just told him I loved him..._

If only it was that simple – which it should be.

I heard a car pulling up outside the house, and the beep of horn – not that I needed it. I guessed it was Alice. Looking in the mirror once again, I shook my head and clenched my fist in front of me and grinned uneasily: _Everyone does stupid things and your a stupid person, but it doesn't mean you don't get second chances right? _Come on Bella, be convincing... _Anyway, think about what Tanya will have to say about that little rumour of yours, and there is always a bit of Lauren on the side to pick a fight with if you get bored... and then your going ice skating, I'm sure you can have some fun... _Now that made me smile! Normally I would have waited for her, but today? My annoyance had to be taken out on _someone._ Plus it kept unpleasant thoughts away, no where near as effective as a special someone, but a remedy all the same.

The horn sounded again and I rolled my eyes; I was out of the house in seconds. To my surprise, Edward was driving the Volvo with Alice and Jasper in the back. Looked like I got the passenger seat... I slid into the seat with much vampire grace and clicked the door shut.

"Hey." I broke the silence, not making eye contact with Edward. I felt so stupid after I just abandoned him in the meadow like that. I had ran away... "Excuse me for my irrational behaviour, my head needed clearing." Oh snap, I meant to say I needed to be home, not my head needed clearing... now I had two lies woven. Couldn't I just blurt out: _I ran away because, oh, well you know, I was about to tell you I love you but then I knew I was crazy if you loved me too so I chickened out and now I am debating over whether you like me because we keep making out but we never say anything about it. And I know we ought to stop it but I won't until you tell me too._

If only I could get the words out of my mouth and off my chest!

I tried to change the subject quickly, "Alice, what is the meaning of these clothes?"

"To seduce Edward, of coarse!"

"_What!?" _I shrieked and jumped up in my seat, Edward just growled at Alice, not missing Jasper's silent laughter. Please... don't... let Emmett... hear _anything _about this! I begged silently, wishing frantically that nothing would click in his mind. I wasn't sure about Rosalie, she seemed nice enough, but I doubt something as juicy as this wouldn't get through to Emmett.

"Well, he just hates it the way all the other guys stare at you." I cringed into my hands, it was unbelieving how Alice said this so matter-of-factly. "Oh, and I don't know why you bothered with the boots, there's really no use."

_Busted._

"I should have known nothing gets past you." I muttered weakly, my head still in my palms, highly shaken at how bluntly Alice put forth her plan. The only reason I agreed to dress up was to look good, but seduce?

The rest of the ride was filled with Alice's chatter and my chagrin. I kept my eyes down the entire time. Edward pulled smoothly into the parking lot and I saw the flashy car that either Tanya, Kate and Irina owned, assuming that Rosalie and Emmett must have caught a ride with them. Then, there was the pug in all her glory, leaning against the car bonnet with her arms folded, scowling her almighty scowl right into my now smirking face. Ah, I do enjoy the entertainment she provides...

I got out of the car that was parked right next to their own. The frown became more pronounced as she witnessed how Edward stood next to me. Instead of her, I guess. I supposed she had a new strategy on her hands, as she battered her eyelashes in what she supposed was in a sexy way, but it honestly looked like a pug with a fly in her eye and a nervous twitch. I couldn't help but giggle.

Her head shot towards me, "Oh, I didn't notice you there."

I guffawed, "Really? Then how come you were admiring me all the way in? Oh yes, I forgot, that, er... little _problem _of yours..." I said with mock realization.

She opened her mouth, taken aback by my comment, "Huh?" She obviously hadn't heard yet.

"I know your public now, but no need to drool." I raised an eyebrow when I spotted Lauren, uninvited, enter our company. She was, once again, wearing a mini, mini, extra small micro skirt. _Niiiice. _Her legs were covered in orange patches, a fake tan attempt corrupted, though she mustn't have noticed. Then the rest her body was the same pasty white. This girl was a freaking mess!

"Eddie.." She cooed, and leant in, causing him to shuffle my way. I sniggered.

"Hey, Lauren." This girl... was getting too close to Edward...

She frowned at his unsatisfactory response. "What's up with your face today? It's pretty-" I started before she cut me off in that trademark nasal tone.

"Ooh, I know, I like, put a different brand of foundation on, your like, not blind after all, you can like, totally see how pretty I am! Thanks!" She grinned boastfully, and I cocked an eyebrow and spoke a little louder.

"Um, Lauren, what I was saying before you interrupted me: It's pretty darn ugly." I said simply. She gaped at me for a few seconds before shuffling and 'adjusting' her hair before coming back with the most stupid comeback ever – worse than the _your so gay _comment.

"Ya mom." I burst out laughing along with everyone else in the company, even Tanya. That didn't even make sense! She was seriously deluded and dense...

"Do you need some ice for that burn?" I smirked, after we were done laughing. The moving bell sounded after, "Saved by the bell." I had gym first with Alice, we were doing volleyball.

-

3 lessons later, I had finally gotten myself through the endless lessons. Gym was... eventful. I confronted Alice of her remarks earlier, but she blew them off casually saying how Tanya had the present class with Edward. Now, I just knew she would be smothering herself all over him, and this just made my mood change from smug to angry. Nice going, Alice!

This resulted in me bursting 4 balls whilst doing the sets and diggs with Alice in partners, so when game time came around, I was picked to choose teams. Lauren was in my class and wouldn't stop rambling on about how much 'Eddie' wanted her. I made sure she was on the opposing team. After only 5 minutes and winning by a considerable stretch, I had finally had enough of her twittering. I slammed the ball down so hard it made a gashing hole through the net and flew out the open fire exit. I don't think I even put any force on it, but I supposed I must have.

Alice helped cover me up by saying I was having a bad day and was a little angry, so I got to sit out and watch Lauren get thrashed. The damage I caused... well, Alice managed to smooth it over quickly, but everyone still seemed disbelieved at the fact the volley ball had made a mysterious disappearance from the field... oops? It probably had destroyed someone's fence or something. I mean, it took all I had not to aim it at Lauren's head. Although, it _did_ skim her hair...

Calculus and Trigonometry were on the contrary, very dull. All through Calculus I busied myself in the work, finding it all too basic for my skilled mind, but it kept me from conversing with Edward at that awkward moment this morning. Not like I knew what to say to him if I had the courage anyway. Trig was just as plain with a hint of Jessica to keep it depressive. She sat on one side and Edward on the other. She stared at Edward and kept hitting me with notes until I sent her a death glare that translated to: Do Not Mess With Me Right Now If You Want To Keep Your Head. Which she blatantly did, for gossiping uses.

Finally, lunch. I pushed open the swinging red doors with my foot and walked effortlessly into the hall, ignoring stares that still managed to find me. Couldn't they get used to me by now? Oh no, I forgot, they were just noting down my clothes, that's right. A sharp tap on the shoulder made me spin swiftly around.

Tanya was there, looking murderous with her locked jaw and clenched fists, so I just raised a questioning eyebrow.

"_You..._" She rasped through her teeth. She sounded like some sort of deprived hag come back to haunt me. Oh, I can see it all now, very clear! All she needed was a matted black wig, a bit of weight loss for the anorexic appearance, and yellowing teeth. All in all, she was quite funny when she was deadly.

"Me!" I put my arms in the air, grinned and made it look as though I had just come up with the latest bright idea. Then I let the smile fall with my hands, scoffed and turned my back on her again. I wasn't prepared next for the ear-splitting screech that erupted in the room with absolute force that then bounced of the walls to greet me again. I saw all the humans cover their ears at the horrific sound. I turned my head over my shoulder to talk to her.

"Imitating a banshee isn't the way to impress me." Still stringing her along, although this time I was perfectly sure she knew what I was on about, and was the reason for her outburst.

"Do you know what you've done?" She yelled, her eyes were bulging now. Ew.

"Hmm?" I turned slowly and pressed a finger to my cheek in an innocent gesture.

"You know EXACTLY!" Okay, she lot her cool, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOLD EVERYONE I'M A LESBIAN!!"

Now:

What she _should _have said was: _I can't believe you __spread rumours__ that I am a lesbian._ But she basically implied to the whole school that she actually was one. Like I knew her secret. This was... working out a whole lot better than I expected!

Shuffles and whispers coursed through the cafeteria, all along the lines of: _Wow, the rumours were true... _I would feel sorry for her... but I wasn't. I just looked around the hall and bit my lip.

"Looks like you've got a big mess on your hands."

Her eyes were positively almost black and was trembling violently. I was quite sure she was scaring most of the humans now, if not all, with her 'Evil Pug' face. Then, I could almost see the bright yellow light bulb appear above her head, and her face changed from 'Evil Pug' to 'Smug Pug'. Okay, 1. Why was she using Smug Pug face? And 2. I really need to keep a diary of 'The Many Faces Of The Tanya-Pug'. Perhaps I'd show it her one day...

"Fine, I'll prove it if you lot don't believe these lies that have been spread." Her chin was up slightly, looking over confident. "Edward?" She looked over and did the 'sticky eyelashes with a twitch' move again, and beckoned him over, "You mind?"

_**Oh no you don't.**_

I walked up behind her and tapped her shoulder, mimicking her previous gesture. Thank goodness in these heels I was several inches higher!

"_Over my dead body." _I hissed, putting my best glare on my face. I could practically feel my eyes darken and hostile vibes coming off me. I wondered how Jasper was crediting my feeling. Once again, I only just realized what my blabber mouth had blabbered.

Wow, she looked scared for a second, then stepped out of my shadow, the Cullen's table wasn't actually too far away. And the trays were right next to me. Oh dear, control Bella, control...

"Why Bella? What's wrong with me kissing Edward? It's not like you own him." Tanya was openly smirking now. Those trays were just begging me to use them. My quick thinking saved me once more.

"Number one, because that's my trademark move." Ha, she wasn't expecting that, I could tell by her face. "And number two? Only _I'm _allowed to make out with Edward Cullen."

Okay, so much for useful quick thinking, why on earth did I just say that?

"Oh, and kissing a guy doesn't mean your not a lezzie or something. I don't know why you just can't admit it, it's okay, I'm sure your family will understand." I smiled 'kindly'.

She went to speak again, but I had one final point to make. A lie, of coarse. "Also? It wasn't me who spread the rumours. Just 'cause you hate me, doesn't mean I would do that. You don't have any evidence anyway."

Tanya just growled threateningly. At least I didn't use the trays. That would have been bad, especially after the amount of volleyballs I had gotten through in Gym today. Stirrer. Well okay, I was too, but when your extremely bored and the two most annoying people are around, you just got to pick one of them to have a tiff with, right? _Right _Bella...

"You'll be experiencing something soon. You'll realize that paybacks a bitch." Tanya snarled.

"And so are you." I added in a simplistic manner, causing several people in our audience to giggle.

"I hate you." The words were cold, but had no effect.

"Don't worry babe." I winked and gave her the 'peace' sign. "The feelings mutual."

Then I grabbed a bottle of soda and glared at all who stared at me, the result in them turning back to conversations hastily. Except one loser didn't get my message.

"Hey Bella." I knew what was coming. Then I suddenly thought of a quote from one of my favourite TV programs. I couldn't help but blurt it out.

"Oh, thank God your here, Grandma's been raped!" I said in Mr G's voice from Summer Heights High. Everyone stopped eating to look at me as if I were crazy. "Don't you know Summer Heights High?" They didn't watch it? Wow, they're the ones that are crazy, not me!

I looked around and understood what I had done. Obviously no one here watched that show, and now I had made just a complete fool out of myself in front of the whole school. I felt shocked then extremely embarrassed. Act cool, act cool, act cool, act cool, act cool...

"Well you should check it out." I said calmly, "Because your seriously missing out!"

I was kind of talking to the whole school, until the boy in front of me (who I didn't even know) gushed, "Oh, I will totally watch it Bella!" I must have looked bored because he stopped his waffling and got to the point. "Oh, yeah, anyway, um, well... I wondering if you would ask me to the Spring Dance?" Argh! Why couldn't the boys just cut this out?

"Sorry but I'm in Seattle that day." I said bluntly and walked off to the Cullen's table.

I placed my drink on the table and sat down in between Alice and Emmett. I saw Tanya out of the corner of my eye squeezed next to Edward, her chair shuffled over to his so that there was a gaping hole between her and Kate. Anyone would think she had BO.

"Oh, thank God your here, Grandma's been raped?" Emmett gave a toothy grin at me, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"It just came out of my mouth, what was I thinking? I didn't think that nobody here wouldn't watch that show!"

"My name is Jessica, some kids call me a slut!" Alice sang another quote and I almost exploded with happiness – finally, someone who understood what I was on about!

"And I've a dirty habit for ecstasy" I laughed and continued, while Emmett chortled at our tables bewildered faces. Tanya was looking at me as though I was a creep, but I didn't care. I carried on with Alice to distract myself from how close she was to Edward. It made me clench my fists, and my laugh came out a little more shaky. "Gimme it! I want it bad!" Me and Alice chorused a little _too _loud. We got curious and dirty looks. Trust them all to misinterpret it!

Then Emmett took me by surprise, "No, Jessica! Don't get involved with drugs!" Except he almost yelled and stretched out his hand in the direction of Jessica, the chatterbox and my 'friend' who looked up from her table and at Emmett. Her face was disbelieving, well, he had just sort of accused her of drugs. All eyes were on us now, us being (that I knew) the only three who knew what we were performing.

"It's too late sir!" Me and Alice sung again whilst giggling uncontrollably.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Emmett's booming voice filled the luncheon hall, almost as loud as Tanya's banshee act. I stopped laughing at looked at him incredulously. I was into it, but not _that _into it! He also seemed to have disappeared under the table. Rosalie kicked him roughly until he resurfaced.

"What?" I was unsure to whether he was playing naïve or not.

"You know you just yelled out _really _loud." Jasper smirked.

"So? I'm nothing on Bella, she's always attracting attention!"

I muttered for him to shut up. That was my mouth to blame, not me! I pondered back over the Spring Dance issue, and whether Edward was going. If he was, who was he taking? Oh no, what if he was taking _Tanya? _It was this Saturday...

"Bella, why are you getting all tensed up?" Trust Jasper to notice my mood change.

I just shrugged and tried to lay off the emotions for the rest of the lunch, ignoring the awkwardness between Edward and I. Finally, it was my cue to leave, when I felt a hand in mine that made me stop in my tracks. Edward was smiling at me.

"Are you actually going to Seattle on Saturday, or was that just an excuse to get those guys off your back?" I was taken aback by the genuine question.

"Well, I'm not actually sure yet... but I'll be at home alone anyway, so I may as well." I fiddled and twisted my hair, remembering the car drive and my flustered state in the meadow.

"I'll drive you there if you want."

"Eh?" Edward? Drive... me? "Um, yeah, sure, thanks!" He squeezed my hand but did not let it drop. We started to head in the direction of Spanish when Tanya came bounding up on Edward's right hand side. I couldn't help but notice how his hand crept up to his bag. Heh heh... I carried on rejoicing that _Edward _as taking me to Seattle instead of going to the Spring Dance with someone like Tanya, and that _Edward _was holding my hand right now!

We reached Spanish before I knew it, and I found myself grateful to be rid of Tanya's indirect insults towards me, and how she would side step into Edward every so often, 'to let someone past'. Yeah right. I still walked hand in hand with Edward all the way to our desks where a seething Jessica Stanley was waiting, although I didn't miss the trace of eagerness at our entwined hands. Ha. I wish.

I took my time to the table, not wanting to be bombarded by questions off The Gossip. I heard the teacher's hand reach the door handle, and stood behind my desk, unwillingly letting Edward's hand drop. Phew, I missed the inquiry by Jess Stanley. Just as our teacher was explaining what we would we would be learning today, a very flustered Lauren Mallory stumbled into the room. I didn't even know she had this class. Not that that mattered, the scene before me was too hilarious for words.

There was Lauren in the middle of the room, her hair redone as was her make up, her top adjusted for maximum cleavage, and her skirt tucked into her panties. I clapped my hands onto my mouth and burst into hysterics. I swear I heard someone fall of their chair. She must have spent so much time tarting herself up, she didn't other to notice the slight problem with her skirt.

"Ms, Mallory, sort yourself out!" Screeched our teacher as she covered her eyes with her frail palms. It was quite funny to see her like this.

"There's nothing wrong with me." She frowned, confused at the teacher's face, before turning and seeing us falling apart with laughter, "Why is everyone laughing?"

"We're laughing at you, moron! And your rather large problem!" Some random person shouted out, only causing another flurry of humour. Feeling like I ought to be crying right now, I leant into Edward's shoulder as mine were shaking. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't stop my giggling. I was leaning into the crook of his neck and breathing in his sweet aroma, killing and worshipping myself over my little action.

"Big problem?" I couldn't see Lauren's face, but I was pretty sure I knew what it would look like, "I do not like, have a trouser snake or anything." _Trouser snake! _I clutched Edward's shirt tighter. She said it as if we were all dumb. So simplistic. I peered outwards a little. We were all positively howling with laughter at this, our poor teacher's sight still concealed by her hands.

"LAUREN GET OUTSIDE AND STOP FOOLING AROUND!" Oh no, she made her mad!

"Miss, I don't understand, what did I _do?_" She whined, and I felt no trace of sympathy for her. Our teacher's hands left her face but her eyes were squeezed shut. Now she was flaying her arms all over the place.

"I don't know what it is with girls like you these days, you prance about like you own the school, and dress in skanky clothes, then you start tucking your skirt into your underwear! Is this some sort of new trend?!" The teacher was still waving her arms and her eyes shut, "_NOW GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM!"_

I had time to see a strange "Eeeeeeeep!" sort of noise emit from Lauren's mouth as she discovered the source of our amusement before seeing her scarper. The look on her face was priceless!

-

Today was, well, strange. And eventful. And now I'm stuck in here in Edward's Volvo with Tanya's car behind and two more cars in front, all headed to a freaking ice rink. Remind me, why did I agree to this? I didn't even know they had ice rinks in Port Angeles. I had only been once before when I travelled out of state with Renee, but that was many years ago. Not to mention all I recall is feeling utterly pointless and embarrassed. At least my vampire balance was here to save me this time. What a relief that was! Except I knew that Lauren and the Pug were gracing me with their presence on this trip.

I avoided Tanya all the way into the sports centre, but her sisters were being continuously pleasant and warm to me, despite the blatant dispute between me and Ms. Pug. I settled on the fact they thought it was our business to sort out or that they must like our arguments too much to put some sort of stop to it all. I doubted the latter very much.

I grabbed some skates and was the first on the ice. I ignored all the stares I, and the other vampires were receiving, sometimes shooting back a cold glare. Humans mingled on the ice, but fortunately it was only a week day and weekends were the peak for these type of businesses. Skating was as easy as it came. I took it slow as I waited for the rest of our large party to join. Lauren came stumbling on in her skimpy clothing, wobbling all over the place. Josh came on behind her, only slightly better. Grabbing the opportunity with both hands, I stuck out my foot innocently, sending Lauren toppling over.

She screeched and landed on all fours, pulling down Josh who was beside her. His feet slipped from underneath him, not unlike the animations in cartoons where the bad guy would always slip on a banana skin. I snickered at them both.

"ARGH! BELLA! YOU LITTLE -" She turned to look at me from her crawling position. Must I mention that her skirt had rode up even further (if that was possible) and presented a not-so-nice view.

"Oh shut your whining Lauren." I heard a few gasps at my bluntness. The skaters around us were failing miserably trying to hide that they were ear-wigging. "Get over your obsession with flaunting your trouser-snake." I referred to the phrase she used earlier, and her face turned beet-red. "Or should I say... _big problem_?"

"_I am going to get you Bella Swan!_" With the narrowed eyes, nasal voice, hissing, tacky bleach blonde pixie cut she looked like a mutant Siamese cat. Wow, I was naming everyone after animals now.

"Really?" I asked casually, "Because, you know, you said that last week and I'm still pretty much getting fed up of waiting for this impending doom you keep promising me. If anything, your tiny clothing attempt for operation 'Get Eddie'" I did the quote gesture, "It's really quite amusing."

Hmm, she was going purple now. Whilst picking herself up off the ice, she only fell over again, on top of Josh. Oh, joy, she was going mad at him now. I rolled my eyes and skated off lazily extending my legs and my arms folded behind my back. I blocked out her yells at poor Josh.

"Hey babe, need some help?" Psshhh, another over hormonal teenage boy approach. His use of the term 'babe' really, really, aggravated me.

"Do I look like I need help?" I said harshly and cut him off, "No. And, before you offer me your help, go get some lessons."

Oh look, now Mike was coming over and he was actually a good skater. Well, I was better (or so I had concluded – I was a vampire after all). I took off quickly, weaving out of everyone and paying nil attention to the disgruntled looks I felt in the back of my head. A flashy smile would shut them up but no way could I be bothered.

The rest of the group were still gathered, and now Lauren was clinging onto Edward's shoulder with a very huffy Pug Face in the background. She would make a good piece of scenery in a play. A curtain, maybe. A reserve curtain would suit best, though. It pleased me in the least to say Edward looked clearly uncomfortable.

But he was too much of a gentleman to do anything.

As I neared, Lauren's fingers crept up his arm and trailed back down. I felt a growl build at the back of my throat, but Tanya beat me to it. Heads turned to her suspiciously, while Alice just eyed me for any reaction. Pfft. New change of plan.

I picked up my pace once again and caught Edwards arm skilfully with one hand after yanking him after me. The force of my tug sent Lauren falling to the ground... once again. Not bothering to stifle my smirk, I looked at Edward.

He grinned at me and shook his head. "Poor girl, she really doesn't know how to take a hint that whatever she does will end up in a disaster if _your _around." I mocked a look like a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar. "Though, I must say it never ceases to amuse me!" My expression was replaced with a full blown smile. I glanced over to where Lauren should have been, but she wasn't there...

No, she was being strapped into a wheel chair on skates, clutching her arm in what I could see was false agony. So, she played the _oh gosh I'm injured! _Card, and ended up being made a total loser of. That'll serve her right! Especially by judging her face. The stewards were smirking as they pushed her chair-on-skates off deliberately slowly, increasing the scene.

Nice one, Bella!

**I know it was a really really really really crappy chapter. I'm sooo sorry, my mind went -blank-! I guess it's a filler... :/ About the wheelchair thing, lol, it happened to my friend and she was soooo embarrassed! She hates skating ever since. :L I'm getting around to Lauren finding out about Edward taking Bella to Seattle, -_-" OH! Right, before the week (in the story) is up, can anyone give me good ideas for payback of Tanya? Or Lauren? Thanks in advance, I will totally mention it's you idea in the chapter it's in! Please review,,,,,,,,,, tell me what you thought.............maybeeee? I mean it IS pretty long xD**


	18. It's Down Hill From Here

**ARGH! I hate myself and I hate my stupid life! I haven't updated because of: 1. I spent all my time at the gym training for gradings, and believe me, its TIRING, 2. I seem to be the topic of gossip because my mom put me on the pill cause she thought I was pregnant!!!! GEEZ! 3. My mom wants to send me to BOARDING SCHOOL. I threw a fit and got grounded but I'm NOT going. So I'm not conversing with her at ALL. And I really am as sorry as hell for not updating, it's really stupid my personal life has to interfere with this. So moving away from my crappy problems, thanks to all reviewers and those who added this to favourites/alert :)**

**And a great, oh high and mighty thanks to: XColourOfAngelsX – your ideas really made this chapter come together! This is practically the only review I got to read before it went mongy and then all the above happened...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognized as Stephenie Meyer's**

**IT'S DOWN HILL FROM HERE**

"Nice one, Bella!" Rose called out to me over the rink, and I put a finger to my lips to silence her.

"Really, aren't you a little harsh on her? She is only a human after all." Edward was smiling at me, but the realization chose that particular moment to kick in. I felt sick at myself.

_This _was not Bella.

Bella was quiet, shy and hated making a scene. Sure, I didn't mind the little courageous act, but since when did I deliberately pick on people and deliver them misfortune? Not since now. I picked a fight with a pathetic reason, I bad mouthed my peers and I forced myself onto Edward every second I got.

Where had Bella gone?

I found myself at the edge of the rink, holding onto the railings that paraded the lip of the ice. Someone was speaking my name but I blocked them out with a shake of my head. My hand rested lightly on the flecked silver metal. The last few days were undeniably other worldly. I desperately tried to blame it on something, but nothing presented a worthy scapegoat. I felt the hand of Jasper on my shoulder.

"Love does crazy things to people, Bella." His voice was soothing and calm, like that of a lozenge in a burning throat. I glanced around with wide eyes, most of our party had left. "He left with Tanya, you sort of... blocked him out when you were daydreaming." I knew he was referring to Edward – who else? I sighed and put my head in my hands. Life was getting increasingly topsy-turvy.

"I've been acting like a full on... well, _bitch._" I answered.

"It's just your emotions getting the better of you. I can tell you haven't felt this way before. Your just reacting to things in a different way." Jasper may be calming, but it didn't stop me feeling irritable.

"It's hardly PMSing or something." I mumbled. "Anyway, Edward must hate me."

I heard him scoff and peeped through my hair to see him shaking his head at me. "When will you two ever see?" The words were said to himself more than anything; I was immensely curious.

"See what?"

"Alice ordered me not to spill. You wouldn't believe me anyway." I narrowed my eyes at the comment and internally cursed Alice for her secrecy. "Plus, it's just love that's getting to you. It's your whole transformation." I glared at the ground as I felt my chin quiver at my foolishness of my apparel. Jasper placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. I saw his brow crease. "I haven't seen, or heard, of any vampire handle it like yourself." I made a disapproving sound and his voice became more forced and strong. "You went through months, _months _of pent up feelings, you were all alone, all that time. You didn't know what to do, who to ask for help. If you spoke to someone of your situation, who would believe you? Nobody of course."

I shifted as he so correctly traced my thoughts. "Now, your coming to terms with your reactions. We don't tolerate change well emotionally, it can make us act... different, in a sense. Your finding the way you interact is so out of the norm for you because of all this change. Life is not what it was Bella, and your just coming to terms with that."

I flickered my eyes to his, and saw an unspoken kinship form between us at this moment. Jasper _understood _ me, he comprehended what it was like to look through my eyes and try to find some reasonable solution for all this weirdness. First the transformation, then the moving, and finally, the falling in love. It made absolute sense, and it was the truth. But I couldn't deny my previous actions, and I had to change my hard, cold manner. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle some people properly (ahem, Tanya...) but I could keep my remarks to myself. I could start with ignoring several people – that should work.

-

I rose early this morning, unable to sit stationary on the bed any longer. I tried to tousle my hair the mirror as though it had been slept upon because I could hear Charlie downstairs – he was sipping his coffee. I grumbled as my hair continued to look pristine even when a shoved my hand right through it. With a final raking of fingers that would have no effect whatsoever, I trudged into the kitchen acting if I were sleepy. We exchanged good mornings, although I had this creepy feeling my day would be anything but 'good'. I took the seat next to Charlie and immediately regretted it when the burn in my throat became so profound that it was overpowering for a single second.

I cut of breathing and clutched my hair with eyes squeezed shut in a precarious effort to chain the desire. My head swam when I thought of blood; the venom pooled in my mouth.

_Charlie._

I gasped and fluttered my eyelids open again, and felt the guilt stab every inch of my body. I had just been dreaming of drinking _Charlie's _blood – my own father!

"Bells? Are you okay?" His voice was laced with fear, his hand fluttered nervously and came to rest on my bare shoulder. It all happened very quickly: my blood lust took control as I leapt up from my seat and the force sent the chair crashing to the ground. My vision was surrounded by thoughts of blood, the pumping of his pulse, the beating in his veins... At the same time Charlie brought his hand back quickly, and looked at me with worry.

Seeing his horrified face thrashed the hunter in me away, though my throat persisted to burn. "...Bella?"

There was an awkward silence before I understood I should say something. "Migraine. I have a really, really bad migraine." The words were short and desperate. I didn't miss the questioning frown on his face.

"Okay... why don't you take some pills?" I nodded weakly in response. "What's wrong Bella, your skin is so cold. This isn't the first time..."

Oh great, he was much more observant than I gave him credit for. "It's the weather change, I guess." Lame as it was, there was no other solution to his inquiry (other than the truth of coarse, but I didn't fancy being sent to an asylum any time soon). He repeated my weak nod then motioned to the chair on the floor. Thank goodness it wasn't broken, because I wouldn't have known what to say _then._ It became aware that I had used up all my oxygen supply.

The sharp breath I drew in caused my hands to shake violently as I hoisted the chair back up. The sensation in my throat refused me to sit down.

"Your eyes are really black, Bells." Another hit in the form of his words.

I shrugged, "Perhaps it's the weather or something..." Yes, the weather was to blame for even though it wasn't and I was the one who controlled it. I really should take the day off for hunting, but I would only blame myself for running away from my problems.

"What would the weather have to do with your eyes?" He peered at them curiously. I shrugged. "Why don't you take those tablets, eh?" I stood there clutching the chair for support over my control while it became apparent he wasn't going to leave until I had taken the damn things. I opened the cabinet for the medicine and placed the two objects on the counter delicately. Charlie was still watching my every move.

I took a glass and slowly filled it up with water, wishing he would still leave, but no sounds of a scraping chair were made. I turned to face the window and cringed as I pulled the tablets and water closer – the smell was utterly revolting. I comprehended over the fact that Charlie was going no where and I may as well get it over with.

I stuffed the tablets into my mouth and took a humongous gulp of water. As quick as this happened, I heaved violently at the stomach churning taste and poured the contents into the sink with a groan. The substance was as vile as it looked.

"I'm all right, Dad, no worries!" My voice was exceptionally normal, and I winced as he fluttered around me.

"Perhaps you shouldn't go to school today, you could do with a good night's sleep, you look really tired." He was anxious, I could feel it although I was no Jasper.

"I'll go to school." I saw his concerned look and reassured him, "I'll be fine. Promise."

I escaped from the room and swallowed in determination – I would go to school, I was just over-reacting about the thirst. Of course I could control myself. I _would_.

-

Thankfully, Alice toned down the outfit this morning, something for which I was grateful for. Yet, it still made it' s way to the discomfort scale – the very end of it. Tight fitting jeans, and a dressy white shirt? Average, for Alice. It was the shoes did it. What ever possessed her into believing I would wear such treacherous heels to school? Her strict fashion religion, of course.

I saw the silver Volvo pull up outside the house and I couldn't help let a sneaky smile escape. Instead of taking the front door, I jumped out of my window, not bothering to close it; I would make sure no rain would break free of the clouds today. I recognized how swift and graceful my movements were as my heels met the ground with the tiniest sound.

As I allowed myself to study the darkened windows more closely, I saw... _Tanya _sitting in the passenger seat that I occupied in the past. This time, I felt the sadness was a whole lot more overwhelming than the jealousy. I bit my lip, and considered my chances of surviving the journey with _her _in the car. The chances were very low, I had to admit.

I walked softly at vampire speed to the window and Edward rolled it down. Not manually, like my truck, I noticed.

"I think I'm going to walk, or run, today." I didn't bother looking up knowing that Tanya's face would be full of smugness... Ms. Smug Pug was certainly making many appearances recently. I fought the urge to yell and scream poisonous profanities at her, to make her see how truly irritable she made me feel. Instead, I kept looking down, examining the paintwork of the car.

"Why not?" The angel's voice I memorised far too much sounded concerned. "There's plenty of room."

I wondered if he was starting a relationship with Tanya. He obviously was attracted towards her. I mean, what did I have? Unless you count the head-strong girl apparel. Except, 'head-strong' was a little light. I felt despaired at the consequence. Desperate for revenge. I just wanted to... Ignore Tanya. Ignore, ignore, ignore... No what I really wanted was to rip all her stupid hair out and push her off a La Push cliff. And then bring her back up so I can push her off again. These thoughts only propelled my hatred for her, which I mentally scolded myself for.

Edward's hand rested on the arm rest. Then Tanya placed her hand over his. I felt the rage relight in my chest, yet the despair appeared when he didn't shrug her off. "Um, I'm, yeah" I stammered and Ms. Pug didn't bother hiding her giggle. Her hand skimmed up his arm and back down again; I gulped back a growl. He was still looking intently at me. "I really don't want to ride with you." I finalized my statement.

Did I just say that out loud?

I think I did. Oh crap. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. Edward raised his eyebrows and looked taken aback, not to mention hurt. Why the hell did I just say that? I opened my mouth to say something else, but I only trusted myself to make matters worse. Tanya's hand was creeping higher up his arm – I needed to get out of there. With a jerk of my head and my smile a cringe, my voice came out awkward, "Well... I'd better be going!"

With a final cringe/smile, I disappeared into the fringe of the forest and breathed deeply, trying to calm myself from the very vibrant truth that: Tanya liked Edward; Edward might like Tanya back; Ignoring Tanya was going to take a tonne and a half lot of will power; I had just made myself the biggest, most stupid, vampire in history. Oh yes, it's all very well to reject a ride with courtesy, so as not to seem clingy.... but to tell the person you love you really (in other words) don't want to be around with them? I don't remember that being in the rules of letting someone know you love them.

I got to school before the Volvo. I didn't want to see it anyway. Watch Edward get out of the car, and walk around to open the door... for _her._ I so eagerly wanted to be in her place, to know that, I wasn't an idiot having screwed up all the chances I got.

I sat at a picnic table, and I think many people got the idea not to talk to me today just by my body language. I heard the click of heels. Not bothering to conceal my groan, I slumped further against the table, head in hands. My day was going bad enough without the nasal Lauren to send it further over the edge. I clenched my fists as the luscious smell of her blood attracted me. I stared at the table. I could last the day, I would.

I heard the smacking of the gum she was chewing. It was strawberry favoured, completely irrelevant. I wondered what it would be like to chew gum without spitting it out in distaste. It would taste nice... but nothing compared to blood. At least, not when your a vampire. _Argh! _I shifted in my seat at the thought of delicious blood....

Then the looming feeling resurfaced momentarily, how I would spend the rest of eternity... alone. Without Tanya when he would potentially be there sucking Tanya's face of... I felt like hurling. A poster of some sort was shoved in front of my face. There were two words and a picture of me that I didn't even know anyone had taken:

_Bella = Bitch!_

"It's cool huh? I made it myself."

_Wow, you actually managed to spell my name. Bravo! _Instead, I kept quiet like I vowed to myself I would. I averted my eyes to the space of table next to the poster. The thought of me pouncing on Lauren like the disgusting monster I am was a major turn off. I'd end up with an orange face if I touched her anyhow and smell like a homosexual chipmunk).

"Oh my god, like _why _are you acting like such an emo?"

_Argh! You moan about me not leaving you alone, which I wish so feverishly you would, because it's freaking vice versa! _I refrained from shaking my head, and I felt the toxic fury that I usually spilled all over her was not even an issue today. I was still sulking (well, getting depressed over) the Edward-Tanya situation. Knowing I deserved every minute of this, I held my tongue.

"Helloooo? Like, what is up with you?" _Go away, go away, go away, _I silently chanted in a rhythm. She went on, but I blocked her as the first bell went when I noticed the shiny Volvo had already been parked. I got up mutedly and walked off to my first class.

Along the way, I was greeted with the same posters. Bella, bitch, Bella, bitch, Bella, bitch, bellabitch, bellabitch, bellabitch, bellabitch... I deserved it. I mean, I was. Anyway, there was a much more pressing matter on my mind - so huge it filled every expansive corner of it- concerning an angel named Edward and a pug named Tanya.

Most of the students were in the canteen before lessons began, but I managed to resist their blood by constantly fighting my blood frenzy. I was so stupid to come to school today.

-

Lessons passed and it was lunch – my day had been spent disastrously.

There were numerous times I thought I would just lose it, and the Cullens convinced me to go home... which was where I was going. Previously the blood polluted thoughts had been all that was on my mind, along with the determination to resist. I was so stupid... I didn't even contemplate Lauren's gloating.

The countryside around me was covered from view by thick plantation. It arose over the lane and formed a tunnel like look, making it very dark, what would be spooky for a human... except the only monster anyone would meet was me. I sped down the narrow country road until I was shaken awake by the sound of a not so far off truck. I hadn't time to react when it turned the corner and the headlights flashed into my face. I stared in horror.

Why hadn't Alice foreseen this!?

It neared closer and I took a trembling step backwards; making a tree shudder at the contact with my body. The rusted black vehicle neared closer, I was literally a cat caught in headlights. The gravel scraped underneath my shoes as I tried to press closer into the tree, all I did was make it groan in the movement of it. The blood called my name lustfully, singing and dancing in front of my nose in its alluring manner. The desire for the blood was so ... strong, forceful in its tugging at my body which struggled pathetically against my will.

I had to resist... but I could only last for so long. The wave of the liquid was so much stronger than I had ever experienced, and my nails dug relentlessly into the tree.

The truck neared, when it struck me it was speeding fast. Very fast, so very fast towards _me_. The shadows hid me from the outside, when I saw the driver in a flash of red against the dashboard. My eyes rolled back into my head at the ferocious fascination of the doting blood. With a snarl my feet slipped as the truck was only metres away now... so close... so close.

His head was smeared scarlet and it lolled sideways, his neck resting on the steering wheel. I could see the whites of his eyes through my blood smeared vision. His mouth was open, but it was the redness at his temple that pushed me over.

The car crashed into me as I went for the human.

**I know, I was going to give you more but I just had to get something up. Hence the reason it's unedited. For all the ideas not used (which I'll hopefully be able to use after I post this) I'll try and use them in the future chapters, I have the skeleton plan for this all done, it's just kind of funny at the moment. **


	19. Authors Note: I am the WORST

Guys. I understand you probably all hate me right now – I know I would do.

I know there is no excuse for no warning you guys about me abandoning this story. I came back many times to try and write the next chapter, but every time, it just got confused and muddled in my head. In all honestly, I think it just got worse throughout the story. I mean, it is unstructured and disorganised and Bella is having freaky mood swings and acting like a B****. Not how I initially wanted it to turn out to be.

Also, I got shipped off to boarding school by my mother because I guess I was too much to handle. But now, I have been working on turning my life around and to all of you who believed in my story I just love you for having faith in it when I never did. Another incident was that I broke my ankle, and therefore could not enter for my Rhythmic Gymnastic Nationals. You see, I loved that sport – it was my entire life and was the only thing that kept me on the verge of sanity. Since the blow, I kind of realized that now I missed this chance there was never going to be another chance at the real competitive sport. I had been working my whole life for that moment, always being put down and struggling to find the money to cater for my sport. And then BAM, I just can't do it any more. The sport is really competitive, and as I get older I have a tinier chance of being part of that. I do do it recreationally now, but I think my competition days are over.

Now let me tell you, boarding school was something totally crazy. I only lasted a term before I begged to come home! Even though the place was filled with rich snobs – I got a part scholarship – it really taught me something about life. And how when I thought I had it bad, I really didn't! It has made me focus on myself and improving my life now, my last few years have been pretty messed up, but I am going to make it better now.

I am unsure whether to leave this story, I am not sure whether I can save it. And if I did attempt it, I would probably end up rewriting the whole thing. Now, I do have another story in mind, but this time I think I will approach it differently and actually write several chapters in advance so I don't fall behind like I did in this one.

I am so sorry to all you guys. Really. I am. If your reading this now, then, Wow. You've made it this far. Give me an opinion on what I should do next? Or is that to much to ask – just send me a load of hate mail, really, I deserve it!

-Jess.


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